A Jaded Gay

In previous episodes, we discussed the importance of LGBTQ+ characters in TV and film and how being our authentic selves can manifest true representation in the media. As part of this increase in LGBTQ+ portrayals, Christmas movies have begun featuring gay characters and storylines.In this episode, we’re taking a look at some of my favorite gay Christmas movies, which include furry handcuffs, awkward family dynamics, and holiday setups.Support the showGet Your Merch

While the holiday season is typically viewed as a joyful time, the pressure of gift-giving, traveling, and spending time with loved ones can cause stress. For the LGBTQ+ community, this time of year can also serve as a reminder of their strained relationships with family, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.In this episode, we’re navigating the LGBTQ+ community’s complicated relationship with the holidays and discussing tips to get through these difficult times.Additional Resources:Holiday Stress - American Psychological AssociationHolidays Exacerbate Depression in LGBTQ+ CommunityHolidays Can Exacerbate Depression Among LGBT PeopleWhy Some LGBTQ People Feel Especially Stressed at the Holidays — and Seven Things They Can Do About ItFive Tips for LGBTQ People on Surviving Holiday DepressionLGBT and Heading Home for the Holidays?Holidays Are Not Happy for Many LGBTQ+ PeopleEight Queer Tips to Get Through The HolidaysNavigating Awkward LGBTQI HolidaysFive Holiday Tips for LGBTQ People in RecoverySupport the showGet Your Merch

Since 1984, the gay best friend has been a staple character in movies and TV, often being portrayed as sexless and sassy. However, this stereotype—while often thought to be innocent—can actually be harmful and damaging.In this episode, we discuss the origins of the gay best friend trope and cover the negative impact it can have on gay men.Additional Resources:Gay Best Friend (Urban Dictionary)A History of the Gay Best Friend in Film and TVGay Best Friend: A Letter to Straight People from the 'GBF'Just Because I’m Gay Doesn’t Mean I Want to Be Your SidekickHow to Find Your Gay Best FriendThe Evolution of the Gay Best Friend in Romantic ComediesThe “Trans Best Friend” is Hollywood’s Hottest New AccessorySupport the showGet Your Merch

For gay men, humor has played a central role in their resiliency and helped get them through tough times. However, one form of humor, self-deprecating, can become a problem and may actually signify deeper issues.In this episode, we’re discussing the role self-esteem and humor play as a coping mechanism for stressful emotions, signs that our self-deprecating jokes may be negatively impacting how we view ourselves, and how we can break this cycle.Additional Resources:Self-Deprecating DefinitionSelf-Deprecating HumorSelf-Depreciation: Why Do We Do It?Making Sense of Self-EsteemHumor as a Coping MechanismHow Camp and Gallows Humor Keep Us Alive and ResilientThe Gay Humorist as Public ManBeing Humorous & Seeking Diversion: Promoting Healthy Coping Skills Among LGBTQ+ YouthIs the Use of Humor Associated with Anger Management? The Assessment of Individual Differences in Humor Styles in SpainWhen Does Self-Deprecating Humor Become Detrimental?Support the showGet Your Merch

From social media to cover models, society has an obsession with body image, which we all struggle with. But for gay men, our bodies tend to be objectified and labeled to define our worth.In this episode, we’re discussing why gay men tend to obsess over their bodies, the negative impacts this has had on our physical and mental health, and how we can treat ourselves and our bodies with kindness.Additional Resources:What are Eating Disorders?Eating Disorder StatisticsGay Men and Body Image: What You Need to KnowThe Mental Health Issues Gay Men Deal WithWhy Do So Many Gay and Bisexual Men Struggle With Body Image?The Adonis Complex: The Secret Crisis of Male Body ObsessionBody Image Satisfaction in Heterosexual, Gay, and Lesbian AdultsBody Dysmorphic DisorderBody Dysmorphia in Gay MenHigher Rates of Body Dissatisfaction in Gay Men Leading to a Rise in Cosmetic SurgeryThe Gay Men Risking Their Health for the Perfect BodyIt Gets Better, Unless You're FatSupport the showGet Your Merch

The term gaydar, a colloquialism referring to the intuitive ability of a person to assess another’s sexual orientation, has been thrown around casually in the media and among the gay community. However, is there any truth to this concept?In this episode, we take a look at the early origins of gaydar, the science behind the phenomenon, and how advancements in technology may be able to identify a person’s sexual orientation from a photo.Additional ResourcesGaydar Definition (Urban Dictionary)Gaydar Definition (Green's Dictionary of Slang)What is Gaydar? Does it Work Like Other Gay Dating Apps, and Can I Join for Free?Detection of Sexual Orientation by Heterosexuals and HomosexualsAccuracy of Judgments of Sexual Orientation from Thin Slices of BehaviorGaydar: Visual Detection of Sexual Orientation Among Gay and Straight MenThe Science of “Gaydar”: How Well Can We Detect Other People’s Sexual Orientation?The Truth About "Gaydar"Inferences About Sexual Orientation: The Roles of Stereotypes, Faces, and the Gaydar MythDeep Neural Networks are More Accurate Than Humans at Detecting Sexual Orientation from Facial ImagesThis Psychologist’s "Gaydar" Research Makes Us Uncomfortable. That’s the Point.The Invention of AI "Gaydar" Could be the Start of Something Much WorseGaydar (2002)Gaydar (2013)Support the showGet Your Merch

In America, there has been a decrease in the number of teenagers who’ve received formalized sex education over the years. And for LGBTQ+ youth, inclusive sex education is practically nonexistent.In this episode, we’re taking a look at the current state of sex education in America, the lack of inclusive education for LGTQ+ youth, and how we can be advocates for inclusive, formalized sex education.Additional Resources:The State of Sex Education in America in 2022The 2019 National School Climate SurveyLet's Talk About (Queer) Sex: The Importance of LGBTQ-inclusive Sex Education in SchoolsIncluding LGBT-Content in Sex Education: Four Wrong Ways (and One Right One)A Call to Action: LGBTQ Youth Need Inclusive Sex EducationPlanned ParenthoodAdvocates for YouthSIECUSSupport the showGet Your Merch

At the start of a romantic relationship, it’s exciting to receive positive affirmations and affection from your partner. However, if this affection becomes exaggerated and excessive, it can lead to a manipulative cycle of abuse.In this episode, we look into what love bombing is, common red flags, and how to heal after being love bombed.Additional Resources:Love Bombing (Psychology Today)Spotting Narcissistic Love Bombing: What It Is — and Isn’tIdealize, Devalue, Discard: The Dizzying Cycle of NarcissismWhat Is ‘Love Bombing’?What to Know About 'Love Bombing,' the Trend That's Ruining Dating for EveryoneWhat is Love Bombing? 11 Ways to Spot this Relationship Red FlagEmpath Definition'Love Bombing': What It Is, Why It's Dangerous, and How to Protect YourselfSupport the showGet Your Merch

The history of horror goes back more than 250 years and has depicted queer themes since its origins. From Frankenstein to Freddy Krueger, horror has always been queer.In this episode, we’re taking a look at the history of the horror genre, queer coded representation in horror literature and film, and modern-day depictions of queer characters.Additional Resources:Britannica - Horror StoryGothic LiteratureThe History of Horror is GayGuessing the Mould: Homosocial Sins and Identity in Horace Walpole's The Castle of OtrantoQueering Gothic in the Romantic AgeThe History of Horror is the History of QueernessDid Mary Shelley Lose Her Virginity on Her Mother’s Grave?Did Mary Shelley Keep Her Late Husband’s Heart?Famous Bis: Mary ShelleyLesbian Representation in the Vampire Classic CarmillaThe Queer Life of Bram StokerOut of the Shadow of ‘Nosferatu’A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2 Freddy's Revenge 1985 Film Clips I've Got The BrainsThe Nightmare Behind the Gayest Horror Film Ever MadeWelcome to Our Nightmares: Behind the Scene with Today's Horror ActorsGet Out: The Rise and Rise of Queer Horror33 Essential LGBTQ+ Horror MoviesTop 100 Gay Horror FilmsEleftheria by Rob LovelessSupport the showGet Your Merch

On October 8, 1998, a 21-year-old college student was picked up from a gay bar, tortured, and murdered because of his sexuality in a state that had no hate crime laws to protect him. More than twenty years later, we continue to remember his life and legacy.In this episode, we discuss the brutal murder of Matthew Shepard, the United States’ reaction, and the impact this tragic event had in bringing about stricter hate crime legislation.Additional Resources:Matthew ShepardMatthew Shepard, Victim of Anti-Gay Hate Crime, DiesMatthew Shepard: The Murder that Changed AmericaWitnesses Trace Brutal Killing of Gay StudentBeaten Gay Student Dies; Murder Charges PlannedMcKinney Gets Two Life SentencesGay Murder Trial Ends With Guilty PleaTwo Decades After Matthew Shepard's Death, LGBTQ Community Still Battles Hate ViolencePresident Clinton During Departure Statement (1998) (Matthew Shepard)Celebrity Vigil For Matthew ShepardThe Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act / Matthew Shepard ActMatthewsPlace.comSupport the showGet Your Merch