A Jaded Gay

Previously, we discussed our iconic pop queens and how their songs typically fit into distinct categories that hit an emotional button that appeals to gay men.In this episode, we continue our Gay Icons series with none other than…Donna Summer. Known as the Queen of Disco, Donna is the fourteenth greatest female soloist of all time (according to Billboard) and certainly left her mark on the disco scene.Additional Resources:19. The Queer History of DiscoWhy Disco Should Be Taken Seriously04. Pop Icons and Their Gay Emotional AppealSummer Fans, Some Are NotExclusive: Donna Summer Denied Making Antigay Remarks That Hurt Her CareerDonna Summer Denied Anti-Gay Remarks and HIV/AIDS Statements in 1989 ACT UP LetterRead Donna Summer’s Never-Before-Published 1989 Letter to ACT UPGay Icons: The Queen of Disco PlaylistSupport the showGet Your Merch

Even though we may have had similar upbringings compared to our straight peers, members of the LGBTQ+ community still tend to carry trauma from growing up differently.In this encore episode, my sister, Amy Loveless, joins us to discuss how our upbringing impacted how we date, generational differences regarding LGBTQ+ visibility, and dating intentionally.Support the showGet Your Merch

Even though we may have had similar upbringings compared to our straight peers, members of the LGBTQ+ community still tend to carry trauma from growing up differently.In this episode, my sister, Michelle Loveless, joins us to discuss how our upbringing impacted how we date, generational differences regarding LGBTQ+ visibility, and living authentically.Support the showGet Your Merch

As gay men, many of us have had to repress our authentic selves and hide our emotions because of negativity we may have experienced growing up differently. Among the myriad of issues this can cause, some of us may not trust acts of kindness from others.In this episode, we’re discussing why we may be guarded when it comes to receiving acts of kindness, the struggles this can cause when forming a romantic relationship, and how we can ultimately learn to begin accepting kindness.Additional Resources:Trauma Makes Us Shun Kindness When We Need It Most05. Interpersonal Vulnerability: Overcoming the Fear of Rejection Why Do So Many People Respond Negatively to Being Loved?5 Reasons Why Receiving Is Harder Than GivingHow to Understand and Overcome Help-Rejecting BehaviorFears of Compassion: Development of Three Self-Report Measures11. Overcoming Internalized Homophobia30 Ways to Deal with Internalized Homophobia for LGBTQ PeopleBe Kind to YourselfThe Importance of Accepting ComplimentsHow to Accept KindnessHow I Learned to Accept Kindness — Because that Doesn’t Make Me SelfishSupport the showGet Your Merch

As we approach the end of another year, we may reflect on the past – from relationships to career pursuits to personal matters. And while we may look to a new beginning, we must learn to let go so that we don’t carry negative situations with us.In this episode, we’re discussing the motivating factors for obtaining closure, how we can give others closure, and how we can create our own.Additional Resources:Defining Closure PsychologyThe Need For Closure Scale (NFCS)The Need for Closure Scale (NFCS) QuestionnaireWhy We Need Closure From Broken RelationshipsHow to Get Closure After a BreakupSupport the showGet Your Merch

In previous episodes, we discussed the importance of LGBTQ+ characters in TV and film and how being our authentic selves can manifest true representation in the media. As part of this increase in LGBTQ+ portrayals, Christmas movies have begun featuring gay characters and storylines.In this episode, we’re taking a look at some of my favorite gay Christmas movies, which include furry handcuffs, awkward family dynamics, and holiday setups.Support the showGet Your Merch

While the holiday season is typically viewed as a joyful time, the pressure of gift-giving, traveling, and spending time with loved ones can cause stress. For the LGBTQ+ community, this time of year can also serve as a reminder of their strained relationships with family, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.In this episode, we’re navigating the LGBTQ+ community’s complicated relationship with the holidays and discussing tips to get through these difficult times.Additional Resources:Holiday Stress - American Psychological AssociationHolidays Exacerbate Depression in LGBTQ+ CommunityHolidays Can Exacerbate Depression Among LGBT PeopleWhy Some LGBTQ People Feel Especially Stressed at the Holidays — and Seven Things They Can Do About ItFive Tips for LGBTQ People on Surviving Holiday DepressionLGBT and Heading Home for the Holidays?Holidays Are Not Happy for Many LGBTQ+ PeopleEight Queer Tips to Get Through The HolidaysNavigating Awkward LGBTQI HolidaysFive Holiday Tips for LGBTQ People in RecoverySupport the showGet Your Merch

Since 1984, the gay best friend has been a staple character in movies and TV, often being portrayed as sexless and sassy. However, this stereotype—while often thought to be innocent—can actually be harmful and damaging.In this episode, we discuss the origins of the gay best friend trope and cover the negative impact it can have on gay men.Additional Resources:Gay Best Friend (Urban Dictionary)A History of the Gay Best Friend in Film and TVGay Best Friend: A Letter to Straight People from the 'GBF'Just Because I’m Gay Doesn’t Mean I Want to Be Your SidekickHow to Find Your Gay Best FriendThe Evolution of the Gay Best Friend in Romantic ComediesThe “Trans Best Friend” is Hollywood’s Hottest New AccessorySupport the showGet Your Merch

For gay men, humor has played a central role in their resiliency and helped get them through tough times. However, one form of humor, self-deprecating, can become a problem and may actually signify deeper issues.In this episode, we’re discussing the role self-esteem and humor play as a coping mechanism for stressful emotions, signs that our self-deprecating jokes may be negatively impacting how we view ourselves, and how we can break this cycle.Additional Resources:Self-Deprecating DefinitionSelf-Deprecating HumorSelf-Depreciation: Why Do We Do It?Making Sense of Self-EsteemHumor as a Coping MechanismHow Camp and Gallows Humor Keep Us Alive and ResilientThe Gay Humorist as Public ManBeing Humorous & Seeking Diversion: Promoting Healthy Coping Skills Among LGBTQ+ YouthIs the Use of Humor Associated with Anger Management? The Assessment of Individual Differences in Humor Styles in SpainWhen Does Self-Deprecating Humor Become Detrimental?Support the showGet Your Merch

From social media to cover models, society has an obsession with body image, which we all struggle with. But for gay men, our bodies tend to be objectified and labeled to define our worth.In this episode, we’re discussing why gay men tend to obsess over their bodies, the negative impacts this has had on our physical and mental health, and how we can treat ourselves and our bodies with kindness.Additional Resources:What are Eating Disorders?Eating Disorder StatisticsGay Men and Body Image: What You Need to KnowThe Mental Health Issues Gay Men Deal WithWhy Do So Many Gay and Bisexual Men Struggle With Body Image?The Adonis Complex: The Secret Crisis of Male Body ObsessionBody Image Satisfaction in Heterosexual, Gay, and Lesbian AdultsBody Dysmorphic DisorderBody Dysmorphia in Gay MenHigher Rates of Body Dissatisfaction in Gay Men Leading to a Rise in Cosmetic SurgeryThe Gay Men Risking Their Health for the Perfect BodyIt Gets Better, Unless You're FatSupport the showGet Your Merch