A Jaded Gay

In 1981, reports of a “rare cancer” affecting homosexual men surfaced, which marks the start of the AIDS crisis. For years, those living with AIDS were largely neglected by the government and medical community.In this episode, we’re discussing how ACT UP formed in response to social neglect, government negligence, and the complacency of the medical establishment, and their decades-long work, which continues today.Additional Resources:How AIDS Remained an Unspoken—But Deadly—Epidemic for YearsACT UP AccomplishmentsACT UP - AboutHow ACT UP Changed AmericaAIDS Drug's Price to be Cut 20%ACT UP Demonstrations on Wall StreetACT UP Historical ArchiveMeet the Gay Priest Who Served AIDS Patients with Mass, Prayers and ArtACT UPACT UP, HIV/AIDS, and the Fight for HealthcareSupport the showGet Your Merch

In past episodes, we've talked about how some gay men try to curate the illusion of a "perfect life" to compensate for feelings of shame and rejection. As such, we develop a false sense of confidence through others' validation.In this episode, my friend, Tillie Lee, joins us to discuss how our upbringing impacted how we practice mindfulness, be more confident, and love ourselves better.Additional Resources:Raising Low Self-EsteemTillie Lee PhotosInstagram - Tillie LeeSupport the showGet Your Merch

There is a longstanding stereotype that gay men have a disposable income to fund an extravagant lifestyle. However, recent data has found that there is a gay wealth gap, with the average LGBTQ+ worker earning 90 cents for every dollar a typical worker earns.In this episode, we’re taking a look at recent data regarding this wealth gap, how workplace discrimination and “early choices” impact this disparity, and what employers and policymakers can do to promote pay equality.Additional Resources:Examining the Economic Status of Same-Gender Relationship HouseholdsWomen are Still Paid 83 Cents for Every Dollar Men Earn. Here’s WhyOne in 10 LGBT Americans Married to Same-Sex SpouseThe LGBTQ Wealth GapLGBT Poverty in the United StatesThe LGBTQ+ Gap: Recent Estimates for Young Adults in the United StatesThe Big LGBTQ+ Wage Gap ProblemThe Wage Gap Among LGBTQ+ Workers in the United StatesLGBT Students: New Evidence on Demographics and Educational OutcomesMeasuring and Resolving LGBTQ Disparities in STEMSexual Orientation Discrimination in the United Kingdom's Labour Market: A Field ExperimentEvaluations of LGBT Job Applicants: Consequences of Applying "Out"LGBT People’s Experiences of Workplace Discrimination and HarassmentHalf of LGBTQ Workers have Faced Job Discrimination, Report Finds03. Surviving Another PandemicNew U.S. Census Bureau Data Show Significant Economic Disparities Among the LGBTQ+ Community10 Essential Actions to Promote Equal PaySupport the showGet Your Merch

Over the past few years, there’s been an uptick in millennials’ obsession with houseplants. And with 10.5% of millennials identifying as being LGBTQ+, which is much higher than older generations, it’s no surprise that there has been an increase in plant gays.In this episode, we’re taking a look at this millennial trend, the positive health effects houseplants have, and how they can teach gay men to live mindfully.Additional Resources:Why Millennials Are Suddenly So Obsessed With HouseplantsA Hobby for All Seasons: 7 Science-Backed Benefits of Indoor PlantsWhat the Research Says About Millennials and HouseplantsLGBT Identification in U.S. Ticks Up to 7.1%Plant Gay - Urban Dictionary8 Ways Plants are Teaching Gay Men to Live Mindfully & Care for Themselves Without Judgment13 Easy Houseplants for Seasonally Depressed Gays and Their CatsSupport the showGet Your Merch

As gay men, many of us have feared being rejected by our friends and family as part of our coming out process. It’s no surprise that grappling with this fear can result in struggling with intimacy, attachment, and emotional availability.In this episode, we’re talking about how our fear of rejection can lead to developing abandonment issues, the negative impact this can have on romantic relationships, and how we can overcome these struggles.Additional Resources:Abandonment Issues: Signs And Treatment02. From Codependency to No Dependency15. Understanding Attachment StylesAbandonment Issues: Signs, Causes, & Coping TipsWhy is it so Difficult for Some Gay Men to Find a Partner?Gay Men Growing Up With An Absent FatherHow LGBTQ Adults Maintain Ties with Rejecting Parents: Theorizing “Conflict Work” as Family WorkAbandonment Anxiety: How to Understand and Overcome Your FearIdentifying and Managing Abandonment IssuesSupport the showGet Your Merch

Correction: The U.S. Supreme Court's landmark decision for Obergefell v. Hodges came on June 26, 2015. It was incorrectly/accidentally stated as January 26, 2015 at the 15:25 time mark.In the United States, the fight for marriage equality dates back to 1987. But between 2012 and 2014, significant challenges to state laws prohibiting same-sex marriage arose.In this episode, we’re taking a look at the origins of Obergefell v. Hodges, its landmark decision and legacy, and potential threats to the future of marriage equality.Additional Resources:De Boer v. SnyderBourke v. BeshearBourke v. Beshear & Love v. Beshear - Freedom to Marry in KentuckyTanco v. HaslamTanco v. HaslamObergefell v. HodgesThe Supreme Court Gay Marriage Arguments: What the Justices Revealed — Quote by QuoteObergefell v. Hodges (2015)Obergefell v. HodgesThe Supreme Court's Most Memorable Quotes on Gay MarriageHere’s What You Need to Know About the Respect for Marriage ActH.R.8404 - Respect for Marriage ActThe 19th Explains: Why the Respect for Marriage Act Doesn’t Codify Same-Sex Marriage RightsCongress: Pass the Equality ActSupport the showGet Your Merch

Many of us have experienced “gay loneliness” from growing up gay in a straight society. We can feel isolated from our straight peers and even members of our community. But what happens when we feel that same sense of loneliness in a romantic relationship?In this episode, my friend, Jordan Nofziger, joins us to discuss overcoming loneliness in a relationship and recognizing our inner strength to make our own happiness.Support the showGet Your Merch

It’s the most dreaded time of the year for single people.In this episode, we’re talking through the pressures of Valentine’s Day and how we can celebrate the holiday by loving ourselves.Support the showGet Your Merch

In previous episodes, we discussed how being vulnerable in a relationship can trigger feelings of anxiety since it threatens longstanding psychological defenses formed to avoid emotional pain and rejection. So if we go through a breakup, we can feel alone and lose ourselves.In this episode, Sara Sabatino joins us to talk through the realization of a relationship's end, moving on from a breakup, and finding yourself.Support the showGet Your Merch

Previously, we discussed how growing up gay can impact our attachment styles when it comes to dating. Unsurprisingly, gay men who were denied affection and emotional support from their caregivers may develop an avoidant attachment type in adulthood and have a harder time getting intimate with others.In this episode, we’re taking a look at how our upbringing affects our emotional availability as gay men, identifying signs of emotional unavailability in a partner, and how we can allow ourselves to begin opening up to others.Additional Resources:How to Spot Emotional Unavailability: 5 SignsEmotionally Unavailable Definition15. Understanding Attachment StylesAll About Avoidant Personality DisorderAre Men Really Less Emotionally Available Than Women?Emotionally Unavailable: What It Means & 15 Signs to Look ForWhat It Really Means to Be Emotionally UnavailableEmotionally Unavailable: What It Means, Signs, & What to Do About It10 Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable ManDo You Choose Mean Gay Guys?Why You End Up With Emotionally Unavailable Men (And What to Do About It)14 Signs You're an Emotionally Unavailable Gay ManSupport the showGet Your Merch