A Jaded Gay

Correction: The U.S. Supreme Court's landmark decision for Obergefell v. Hodges came on June 26, 2015. It was incorrectly/accidentally stated as January 26, 2015 at the 15:25 time mark.In the United States, the fight for marriage equality dates back to 1987. But between 2012 and 2014, significant challenges to state laws prohibiting same-sex marriage arose.In this episode, we’re taking a look at the origins of Obergefell v. Hodges, its landmark decision and legacy, and potential threats to the future of marriage equality.Additional Resources:De Boer v. SnyderBourke v. BeshearBourke v. Beshear & Love v. Beshear - Freedom to Marry in KentuckyTanco v. HaslamTanco v. HaslamObergefell v. HodgesThe Supreme Court Gay Marriage Arguments: What the Justices Revealed — Quote by QuoteObergefell v. Hodges (2015)Obergefell v. HodgesThe Supreme Court's Most Memorable Quotes on Gay MarriageHere’s What You Need to Know About the Respect for Marriage ActH.R.8404 - Respect for Marriage ActThe 19th Explains: Why the Respect for Marriage Act Doesn’t Codify Same-Sex Marriage RightsCongress: Pass the Equality ActSupport the showGet Your Merch

Many of us have experienced “gay loneliness” from growing up gay in a straight society. We can feel isolated from our straight peers and even members of our community. But what happens when we feel that same sense of loneliness in a romantic relationship?In this episode, my friend, Jordan Nofziger, joins us to discuss overcoming loneliness in a relationship and recognizing our inner strength to make our own happiness.Support the showGet Your Merch

It’s the most dreaded time of the year for single people.In this episode, we’re talking through the pressures of Valentine’s Day and how we can celebrate the holiday by loving ourselves.Support the showGet Your Merch

In previous episodes, we discussed how being vulnerable in a relationship can trigger feelings of anxiety since it threatens longstanding psychological defenses formed to avoid emotional pain and rejection. So if we go through a breakup, we can feel alone and lose ourselves.In this episode, Sara Sabatino joins us to talk through the realization of a relationship's end, moving on from a breakup, and finding yourself.Support the showGet Your Merch

Previously, we discussed how growing up gay can impact our attachment styles when it comes to dating. Unsurprisingly, gay men who were denied affection and emotional support from their caregivers may develop an avoidant attachment type in adulthood and have a harder time getting intimate with others.In this episode, we’re taking a look at how our upbringing affects our emotional availability as gay men, identifying signs of emotional unavailability in a partner, and how we can allow ourselves to begin opening up to others.Additional Resources:How to Spot Emotional Unavailability: 5 SignsEmotionally Unavailable Definition15. Understanding Attachment StylesAll About Avoidant Personality DisorderAre Men Really Less Emotionally Available Than Women?Emotionally Unavailable: What It Means & 15 Signs to Look ForWhat It Really Means to Be Emotionally UnavailableEmotionally Unavailable: What It Means, Signs, & What to Do About It10 Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable ManDo You Choose Mean Gay Guys?Why You End Up With Emotionally Unavailable Men (And What to Do About It)14 Signs You're an Emotionally Unavailable Gay ManSupport the showGet Your Merch

Previously, we discussed our iconic pop queens and how their songs typically fit into distinct categories that hit an emotional button that appeals to gay men.In this episode, we continue our Gay Icons series with none other than…Donna Summer. Known as the Queen of Disco, Donna is the fourteenth greatest female soloist of all time (according to Billboard) and certainly left her mark on the disco scene.Additional Resources:19. The Queer History of DiscoWhy Disco Should Be Taken Seriously04. Pop Icons and Their Gay Emotional AppealSummer Fans, Some Are NotExclusive: Donna Summer Denied Making Antigay Remarks That Hurt Her CareerDonna Summer Denied Anti-Gay Remarks and HIV/AIDS Statements in 1989 ACT UP LetterRead Donna Summer’s Never-Before-Published 1989 Letter to ACT UPGay Icons: The Queen of Disco PlaylistSupport the showGet Your Merch

Even though we may have had similar upbringings compared to our straight peers, members of the LGBTQ+ community still tend to carry trauma from growing up differently.In this encore episode, my sister, Amy Loveless, joins us to discuss how our upbringing impacted how we date, generational differences regarding LGBTQ+ visibility, and dating intentionally.Support the showGet Your Merch

Even though we may have had similar upbringings compared to our straight peers, members of the LGBTQ+ community still tend to carry trauma from growing up differently.In this episode, my sister, Michelle Loveless, joins us to discuss how our upbringing impacted how we date, generational differences regarding LGBTQ+ visibility, and living authentically.Support the showGet Your Merch

As gay men, many of us have had to repress our authentic selves and hide our emotions because of negativity we may have experienced growing up differently. Among the myriad of issues this can cause, some of us may not trust acts of kindness from others.In this episode, we’re discussing why we may be guarded when it comes to receiving acts of kindness, the struggles this can cause when forming a romantic relationship, and how we can ultimately learn to begin accepting kindness.Additional Resources:Trauma Makes Us Shun Kindness When We Need It Most05. Interpersonal Vulnerability: Overcoming the Fear of Rejection Why Do So Many People Respond Negatively to Being Loved?5 Reasons Why Receiving Is Harder Than GivingHow to Understand and Overcome Help-Rejecting BehaviorFears of Compassion: Development of Three Self-Report Measures11. Overcoming Internalized Homophobia30 Ways to Deal with Internalized Homophobia for LGBTQ PeopleBe Kind to YourselfThe Importance of Accepting ComplimentsHow to Accept KindnessHow I Learned to Accept Kindness — Because that Doesn’t Make Me SelfishSupport the showGet Your Merch

As we approach the end of another year, we may reflect on the past – from relationships to career pursuits to personal matters. And while we may look to a new beginning, we must learn to let go so that we don’t carry negative situations with us.In this episode, we’re discussing the motivating factors for obtaining closure, how we can give others closure, and how we can create our own.Additional Resources:Defining Closure PsychologyThe Need For Closure Scale (NFCS)The Need for Closure Scale (NFCS) QuestionnaireWhy We Need Closure From Broken RelationshipsHow to Get Closure After a BreakupSupport the showGet Your Merch