A Jaded Gay

For many gay men, we struggle with minority stress and discrimination on a daily basis. Along with childhood trauma and gay shame, this adversity causes some to turn to alcohol as a form of self-medicating. In fact, the rate of substance abuse is estimated to be between 20 to 30 percent in LGBTQ+ people compared to 9 percent for the general population.In this episode, we’re taking a look at why members of the LGBQT+ community are more likely to be impacted by alcoholism and how to seek out LGBTQ+-friendly treatment.Additional Resources:Gay and Bisexual Men's Health: Substance AbuseWhy Do Gay Men Sometimes Struggle with Substance Abuse?Gay and Alcoholic: Epidemiologic and Clinical IssuesThe Influence of Gender and Sexual Orientation on Alcohol Use and Alcohol-Related ProblemsLGBTQ Alcoholism17. Mobsters & Mos: How the Mafia Owned Gay Nightlife26. Gay & AnxiousLGBTQ & Gay-Friendly Rehabs: Statistics, Risk Factors & TreatmentSupport the showGet Your Merch

We’ve come a long way regarding LGBTQ+ media representation, with 92 LGBTQ+ characters appearing on scripted broadcast primetime programming for the 2021-2022 season. However, that representation falls flat when you consider the number of straight actors appearing as LGBTQ+ characters.In this episode, we’re taking a look at roadblocks LGBTQ+ actors encounter in Hollywood as we discuss the debate on if straight actors should play gay characters.Additional Resources:GLAAD's Where We Are on TV Report – 2021-2022Is It Ever Okay for Straight Actors to Play Queer Roles?IMDB List: Straight Actors Who Have Played Gay Characters13 Straight Actors Who Won Awards for Playing Queer RolesHere Are the 10 Most Financially Successful LGBTQ Films in HistorySupport the showGet Your Merch

We live in a time when we don’t have to be confined to standard labels regarding gender, sexuality, and even relationship types. Regardless of whether we’re monogamous or polyamorous, it’s still important to do the emotional work so we’re bringing our best selves forward into a relationship scenario.In this episode, my friend, Eric Praniewicz, joins us to discuss his experiences with polyamory, common misconceptions, and how we can become better communicators regardless of relationship type.Additional Resources:Throuple Announcement TweetEric Praniewicz - InstagramSupport the showGet Your Merch

In previous episodes, we talked about how gay men may struggle with perfectionism as a means to validate themselves and overcome their gay shame. As a result, it’s easy to compare ourselves to others and compete against other gay men instead of lifting our community up.In this episode, we’re talking about some of the reasons why gay men compete with one another, ways to stop comparing ourselves to others, and how we can better support our community instead of tearing each other down.Additional Resources:Social Comparison TheorySizing Up: When We Compete with Other Gay Men in Gay CommunitiesHow to Deal with Comparing Yourself to Another Gay?The Top 10 Reasons the Gay Community is so Competitive32. Gay Men and Body Obsession13. Perfectly Imperfect: Conquer Your Perfectionism10 Reasons Gay Men are Hyper Competitive42. Are You Emotionally Unavailable?Gay Men & Self-Perception Based on Grindr UseCouple CompetitionHow to Stop Comparing Yourself to OthersHow To Stop Comparing Yourself To OthersMatthew J. Dempsey on How Gay Men "Compare & Despair"Support the showGet Your Merch

In past episodes, we've talked about how it can be difficult for gay men to find a network of like-minded peers and the importance of finding your community and chosen family.In this episode, my friend, Jonathan Steele, joins us to discuss how gayming provides a sense of escapism and queer representation, allowing you to be whoever you want to be, and how gaymers are building an inclusive, online community.Additional Resources:UK Games Industry Census - Understanding Diversity in the UK Games Industry WorkforceMeet the Gaymers: Why Queer Representation is Exploding in Video GamesSupport the showGet Your Merch

In 1981, reports of a “rare cancer” affecting homosexual men surfaced, which marks the start of the AIDS crisis. For years, those living with AIDS were largely neglected by the government and medical community.In this episode, we’re discussing how ACT UP formed in response to social neglect, government negligence, and the complacency of the medical establishment, and their decades-long work, which continues today.Additional Resources:How AIDS Remained an Unspoken—But Deadly—Epidemic for YearsACT UP AccomplishmentsACT UP - AboutHow ACT UP Changed AmericaAIDS Drug's Price to be Cut 20%ACT UP Demonstrations on Wall StreetACT UP Historical ArchiveMeet the Gay Priest Who Served AIDS Patients with Mass, Prayers and ArtACT UPACT UP, HIV/AIDS, and the Fight for HealthcareSupport the showGet Your Merch

In past episodes, we've talked about how some gay men try to curate the illusion of a "perfect life" to compensate for feelings of shame and rejection. As such, we develop a false sense of confidence through others' validation.In this episode, my friend, Tillie Lee, joins us to discuss how our upbringing impacted how we practice mindfulness, be more confident, and love ourselves better.Additional Resources:Raising Low Self-EsteemTillie Lee PhotosInstagram - Tillie LeeSupport the showGet Your Merch

There is a longstanding stereotype that gay men have a disposable income to fund an extravagant lifestyle. However, recent data has found that there is a gay wealth gap, with the average LGBTQ+ worker earning 90 cents for every dollar a typical worker earns.In this episode, we’re taking a look at recent data regarding this wealth gap, how workplace discrimination and “early choices” impact this disparity, and what employers and policymakers can do to promote pay equality.Additional Resources:Examining the Economic Status of Same-Gender Relationship HouseholdsWomen are Still Paid 83 Cents for Every Dollar Men Earn. Here’s WhyOne in 10 LGBT Americans Married to Same-Sex SpouseThe LGBTQ Wealth GapLGBT Poverty in the United StatesThe LGBTQ+ Gap: Recent Estimates for Young Adults in the United StatesThe Big LGBTQ+ Wage Gap ProblemThe Wage Gap Among LGBTQ+ Workers in the United StatesLGBT Students: New Evidence on Demographics and Educational OutcomesMeasuring and Resolving LGBTQ Disparities in STEMSexual Orientation Discrimination in the United Kingdom's Labour Market: A Field ExperimentEvaluations of LGBT Job Applicants: Consequences of Applying "Out"LGBT People’s Experiences of Workplace Discrimination and HarassmentHalf of LGBTQ Workers have Faced Job Discrimination, Report Finds03. Surviving Another PandemicNew U.S. Census Bureau Data Show Significant Economic Disparities Among the LGBTQ+ Community10 Essential Actions to Promote Equal PaySupport the showGet Your Merch

Over the past few years, there’s been an uptick in millennials’ obsession with houseplants. And with 10.5% of millennials identifying as being LGBTQ+, which is much higher than older generations, it’s no surprise that there has been an increase in plant gays.In this episode, we’re taking a look at this millennial trend, the positive health effects houseplants have, and how they can teach gay men to live mindfully.Additional Resources:Why Millennials Are Suddenly So Obsessed With HouseplantsA Hobby for All Seasons: 7 Science-Backed Benefits of Indoor PlantsWhat the Research Says About Millennials and HouseplantsLGBT Identification in U.S. Ticks Up to 7.1%Plant Gay - Urban Dictionary8 Ways Plants are Teaching Gay Men to Live Mindfully & Care for Themselves Without Judgment13 Easy Houseplants for Seasonally Depressed Gays and Their CatsSupport the showGet Your Merch

As gay men, many of us have feared being rejected by our friends and family as part of our coming out process. It’s no surprise that grappling with this fear can result in struggling with intimacy, attachment, and emotional availability.In this episode, we’re talking about how our fear of rejection can lead to developing abandonment issues, the negative impact this can have on romantic relationships, and how we can overcome these struggles.Additional Resources:Abandonment Issues: Signs And Treatment02. From Codependency to No Dependency15. Understanding Attachment StylesAbandonment Issues: Signs, Causes, & Coping TipsWhy is it so Difficult for Some Gay Men to Find a Partner?Gay Men Growing Up With An Absent FatherHow LGBTQ Adults Maintain Ties with Rejecting Parents: Theorizing “Conflict Work” as Family WorkAbandonment Anxiety: How to Understand and Overcome Your FearIdentifying and Managing Abandonment IssuesSupport the showGet Your Merch