A Jaded Gay

During the early morning hours of Sunday, June 12, 2016, a gunman entered Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida, and opened fire on the crowd, who was celebrating Latin Night. After more than three hours of terror, 49 lives were lost and 53 additional people were wounded.In today’s episode, we’re taking a look at the history of Pulse, the events of June 12, 2016, and the response to the shooting. Additional Resources:Orlando CensusThe 2021 LGBTQ+ Travel IndexLGBT Adults in Large US Metropolitan AreasOrlando Shooter on Facebook: Now 'Taste' ISIS 'Vengeance'OnePulse FoundationThree Years Since Pulse, Lawmakers Must Act to Address Ongoing Epidemic of Gun ViolenceGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Stereotypical gay culture has idolized youth, beauty, and sex, which has resulted in the concept of Gay Death, the all-too-popular myth that gay men have aged beyond attractiveness once they turn 30.In this episode, we’re discussing why gay men fear growing older, the concept of internalized gay ageism and its negative impacts on our mental health, and how we can embrace our age.Additional Resources:Gay Death (Urban Dictionary)Gay Death (Wikipedia)'Gay Death': They Say 30 is the New 25Gay Death Stocktake — A ReviewEveryday Ageism and HealthInternalized Gay Ageism, Mattering, and Depressive Symptoms Among Midlife and Older Gay-Identified MenInternalized Gay Ageism, Mattering, and Depressive Symptoms Among Midlife and Older Gay-Identified MenInternalized Ageism and Homophobia a Toxic Mixture for Older Gay MenYet Another Problem for Older Gay Men: “Internalized Gay Ageism”LGBT People: Let's Talk About AgeismOp-ed: In Defense of AgingOld Lesbians Organizing for ChangeNational Resource Center on LGBTQ+ Aging30 is NOT 'Gay Death' RedditGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Despite the letter B in LGBTQ+, many people, both within and outside of the community, tend to discount the experiences of bisexual people. This ignorance has resulted in bi-erasure, a pervasive problem in which the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality is questioned or denied outright.In this episode, my friend, Sam McClain, joins us to discuss her experiences as a bisexual woman, common misconceptions, and how we can end bi-erasure.Additional Resources:Bisexual ErasureSam McClain - FacebookSam McClain - TwitterGet Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Previously, we discussed our iconic pop queens and how their songs typically fit into distinct categories that hit an emotional button that appeals to gay men.In this episode, we continue our Gay Icons series with none other than… Judy Garland. Known as the World’s Greatest Entertainer, Judy is remembered for her vaudeville roots, iconic camp performances, and personal struggles, which mirrored those of her gay audience. Additional Resources:Vaudeville DefinitionWhy is Judy Garland the Ultimate Gay Icon?Get Your MerchSupport the showGet Your Merch

Being our authentic selves can be scary since many of us fear rejection—and for good reason. Family conflict and rejection is the main cause of LGBTQ+ youth homelessness, and LGBTQ+ youth are 120% more likely to experience homelessness compared to non-LGBTQ+ youth.In this episode, we’re discussing key drivers of LGBTQ+ youth homelessness, system failures, and how we can support those struggling with housing instability.Additional Resources:What Do You Know About Homelessness and Housing Insecurity? Tell us.Homelessness in America 2023: Statistics, Analysis, & TrendsHomelessness Among LGBT Adults in the USLGBTIQ+ Homelessness: A Review of the Literature49. Let's Shatter the LGBTQ+ Wage Gap57. LGBTQ+ Alcoholism26. Gay & AnxiousHomelessness and HousingHomelessness and Housing Instability Among LGBTQ YouthTrue Colors UnitedAli Forney CenterSupport the showGet Your Merch

For many gay men, we struggle with minority stress and discrimination on a daily basis. Along with childhood trauma and gay shame, this adversity causes some to turn to alcohol as a form of self-medicating. In fact, the rate of substance abuse is estimated to be between 20 to 30 percent in LGBTQ+ people compared to 9 percent for the general population.In this episode, we’re taking a look at why members of the LGBQT+ community are more likely to be impacted by alcoholism and how to seek out LGBTQ+-friendly treatment.Additional Resources:Gay and Bisexual Men's Health: Substance AbuseWhy Do Gay Men Sometimes Struggle with Substance Abuse?Gay and Alcoholic: Epidemiologic and Clinical IssuesThe Influence of Gender and Sexual Orientation on Alcohol Use and Alcohol-Related ProblemsLGBTQ Alcoholism17. Mobsters & Mos: How the Mafia Owned Gay Nightlife26. Gay & AnxiousLGBTQ & Gay-Friendly Rehabs: Statistics, Risk Factors & TreatmentSupport the showGet Your Merch

We’ve come a long way regarding LGBTQ+ media representation, with 92 LGBTQ+ characters appearing on scripted broadcast primetime programming for the 2021-2022 season. However, that representation falls flat when you consider the number of straight actors appearing as LGBTQ+ characters.In this episode, we’re taking a look at roadblocks LGBTQ+ actors encounter in Hollywood as we discuss the debate on if straight actors should play gay characters.Additional Resources:GLAAD's Where We Are on TV Report – 2021-2022Is It Ever Okay for Straight Actors to Play Queer Roles?IMDB List: Straight Actors Who Have Played Gay Characters13 Straight Actors Who Won Awards for Playing Queer RolesHere Are the 10 Most Financially Successful LGBTQ Films in HistorySupport the showGet Your Merch

We live in a time when we don’t have to be confined to standard labels regarding gender, sexuality, and even relationship types. Regardless of whether we’re monogamous or polyamorous, it’s still important to do the emotional work so we’re bringing our best selves forward into a relationship scenario.In this episode, my friend, Eric Praniewicz, joins us to discuss his experiences with polyamory, common misconceptions, and how we can become better communicators regardless of relationship type.Additional Resources:Throuple Announcement TweetEric Praniewicz - InstagramSupport the showGet Your Merch

In previous episodes, we talked about how gay men may struggle with perfectionism as a means to validate themselves and overcome their gay shame. As a result, it’s easy to compare ourselves to others and compete against other gay men instead of lifting our community up.In this episode, we’re talking about some of the reasons why gay men compete with one another, ways to stop comparing ourselves to others, and how we can better support our community instead of tearing each other down.Additional Resources:Social Comparison TheorySizing Up: When We Compete with Other Gay Men in Gay CommunitiesHow to Deal with Comparing Yourself to Another Gay?The Top 10 Reasons the Gay Community is so Competitive32. Gay Men and Body Obsession13. Perfectly Imperfect: Conquer Your Perfectionism10 Reasons Gay Men are Hyper Competitive42. Are You Emotionally Unavailable?Gay Men & Self-Perception Based on Grindr UseCouple CompetitionHow to Stop Comparing Yourself to OthersHow To Stop Comparing Yourself To OthersMatthew J. Dempsey on How Gay Men "Compare & Despair"Support the showGet Your Merch

In past episodes, we've talked about how it can be difficult for gay men to find a network of like-minded peers and the importance of finding your community and chosen family.In this episode, my friend, Jonathan Steele, joins us to discuss how gayming provides a sense of escapism and queer representation, allowing you to be whoever you want to be, and how gaymers are building an inclusive, online community.Additional Resources:UK Games Industry Census - Understanding Diversity in the UK Games Industry WorkforceMeet the Gaymers: Why Queer Representation is Exploding in Video GamesSupport the showGet Your Merch