Think Act Be Podcast

My guest this week is Dr. Scott Rick, an associate professor of marketing and author of a great book called Tightwads and Spendthrifts: Navigating the Money Minefield in Real Relationships (affiliate link).  Topics we discussed included: Why our relationship with money is often complicated, no matter how much we have Where our attitudes toward money and spending come from Mental and emotional tendencies that predispose a person to being a tightwad The tendency to act more like one’s parents as one moves through adulthood My own tightwad tendencies, on the tightwad-spendthrift scale The daily suffering that tightwads experience from not spending money The lack of distress that spendthrifts feel about spending money The tendency to unfairly criticize spendthrifts more than tightwads Spendthrifts shopping for things they might need The extent to which being a spendthrift or tightwad may be domain specific Possible generational or situational effects on spending attitudes and habits The experiences that tightwads often miss out on Feeling like we have more money when we’re willing to spend it The tendency to treat a raise and higher cost of living differently, especially for spendthrifts Shopping momentum and what-the-hell behavior among spendthrifts Why spendthrifts tend not to learn from their overspending Why spending regret tends to be different for material things vs. experiences Personality correlates of spendthrifts and tightwads Why tightwads and spendthrifts often wind up together in romantic relationships Whether it’s better for couples to have joint or separate bank accounts The degree of financial transparency that is ideal for couples Scott Rick, PhD, is an associate professor of marketing at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business. Scott received his PhD in Behavioral Decision Research from Carnegie Mellon in 2007, and he then spent two years as a post-doctoral fellow at Wharton. His research focuses on understanding the emotional causes and consequences of consumer financial decision-making, with a particular interest in the behavior of tightwads and spendthrifts. The overarching goal of his work is to understand when and why consumers behave differently than they should behave (defined by an economically rational benchmark, a happiness-maximizing benchmark, or by how people think they should behave), and to develop marketing and policy interventions to improve consumers’ decision making and well-being. Find Scott online at his website where you can learn more about his work. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Dr. Samir Chopra, a philosopher and counselor, discusses anxiety from a unique perspective in his new book. He explores whether our current levels of anxiety are truly unprecedented or part of the human condition. Delving into his early losses, he addresses how they shape our understanding of love and vulnerability. Chopra highlights the paradox of progress leading to increased unease and suggests that embracing anxiety can foster peace. He shares insights on the value of being present and the Buddhist view of self, offering a liberating approach to living with anxiety.

My guest this week is Dr. Marla Deibler, a clinical psychologist who specializes in treating anxiety. We discussed her excellent new book, The BFRB Recovery Workbook (affiliate link). Check out the publisher’s website where you can download many free worksheets and resources. Topics we discussed included: When a body-focused repetitive behavior becomes a diagnosable disorder Common physical consequences of BFRBs Behaviors associated with the hair-pulling of trichotillomania, a type of BFRB The buildup of hair in the digestive system (trichobezoar) from ingesting hair What makes BFRBs so hard to stop The rewarding feeling that often accompanies BFRBs Fixing something with a BFRB that doesn’t feel quite right Why willpower alone is usually not enough to stop BFRBs Ambivalence in the process of change: wanting to change and not wanting to change The importance of a functional analysis to understand what drives behaviors Wanting to jump to fixing a problematic behavior before understanding it The importance of awareness for treatment Practicing incompatible responses to interrupt the habit of BFRBs The relation of BFRBs to OCD and other types of compulsive behaviors The important role of acceptance and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) The problems of using punishment to shape behavior Marla W. Deibler, PsyD, ABPP, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Board-Certified in Behavioral and Cognitive Psychology, and Founder/Executive Director of The Center for Emotional Health of Greater Philadelphia. Marla serves on the Faculty of the Behavior Therapy Training Institute (BTTI) of the International OCD Foundation. She serves as President of the Board of Directors of OCD NJ, the NJ affiliate of the IOCDF, Consultant for the New Jersey Center for Tourette Syndrome, Visiting Clinical Supervisor at the Rutgers University Psychological Services Clinic, and Executive Council member of the ACBS OCD SIG. She is co-author of The BFRB Recovery Workbook: A Step-By-Step Guide to Effective Recovery from Hair Pulling, Skin Picking, Nail Biting, and Other Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Find Marla online at her website. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

My guest this week is Dr. Alissa Jerud, a clinical psychologist who specializes in treating anxiety. Topics we discussed included: The anxiety conditions Alissa treats Anxiety related to pregnancy and fertility The difficulty of experiencing miscarriage My guest’s own experience of two miscarriages The conditioned anxiety after the first loss Pregnancy as a perfect setup for anxiety Dealing with the desire to avoid distressing reminders The benefits of facing certain things that are painful Talking with others about difficult experiences Learning to sit with uncertainty Accepting the possibility that things might not go the way we want them to Ways that we try to subtly protect ourselves from anxiety or disappointment Embracing the good and the bad—opening to all of it The benefits and limitations of cognitive techniques for dealing with worry The willingness to talk with and listen to those who have experienced miscarriage Alissa Jerud, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist working in private practice and a Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania. She completed her doctoral training at the University of Washington and did a postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety. In her private practice, Alissa specializes in exposure-based treatment of anxiety-related disorders, including obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety, panic disorder, specific phobias, and generalized anxiety. Additionally, she specializes in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills training, which includes skills in mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. Alissa is passionate about helping as many people as possible, not only through her clinical work, but also through her writing and speaking engagements. She enjoys training other clinicians in exposure-based treatments and frequently gives workshops on anxiety, stress, mental health, parenting, and social support to companies large and small. She especially enjoys helping parents (including herself) learn to accept, regulate, and tolerate their emotions, as well as their children’s. Find Alissa online at her website. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

My guest this week for part 5 of our series on mindful awareness is Ethan Nichtern, author of a new book called Confidence: Holding Your Seat Through Life’s Eight Worldly Winds (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: Confidence as trusting we can navigate our own minds Making friends with our inner experience Equanimity as realizing that everything affects you The eight worldly winds or forces: Pleasure/pain Praise/blame Influence/insignificance Success/failure Showing up and working with whatever happens to us Mindfulness leading one to feel more but suffer less The first arrow/second arrow metaphor from Buddhism Not pretending something painful is not painful The normalness of reacting to the eight worldly winds Being willing to admit that we’re having an experience we’re having Why hope can be a trap just as much fear is The stress that comes with the possibility of good things The longing to be OK … in every way … forever The incredible power in just knowing what our mind is doing Mindfulness as a good way to practice working with the mind Ethan Nichtern is a renowned contemporary Buddhist teacher and the author of The Dharma of the Princess Bride, One City, and the widely acclaimed The Road Home (affiliate link). Since 2002, Ethan has taught meditation and Buddhist psychology classes and workshops in New York City and around North America.  He has lectured at meditation/yoga centers, conferences, and universities including Brown, Yale, and NYU. Ethan has been featured by CNN, NPR, the New York Times, Vogue, and Business Insider, and has written for the Huffington Post, Beliefnet, Lion’s Roar, Tricycle, Buddhadharma, and more. He lives in Brooklyn. Find Ethan online at his website and find his courses at Dharma Moon. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

My guest this week is Amanda Knox, author of the New York Times bestselling book Waiting to be Heard (affiliate link). Amanda’s name is probably familiar to you because she was in the news a lot over a decade ago when she was tried for murder in Italy. Even though she was convicted, it turned out the charges were completely false, and eventually she was fully exonerated. Topics we discussed included: Amanda’s history of being falsely accused of murder The power of the anchoring bias in maintaining false impressions My guest’s feelings toward the prosecutor on her case Letting go of the need for other people to believe certain things about us The fundamental insight that there is nothing between you and your well-being Figuring out what we can give or take action on, instead of waiting for others to give us what we need Deciding not to be the victim Discovering what no one can take away from you The inherent opportunity in any kind of experience The deep empathy that comes from Amanda’s experience Grieving the loss of the life that could have been The freedom of recognizing that everything is in flux all the time Realizing that this actually is my life, and choosing intentionally to live it Tolerating anything for short bouts of time (with reference to The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) My guest’s relationship with comedy “Hurt Feelings” by Flight of the Conchords Laughing at the absurdity of our self-seriousness Amanda Knox is an exoneree, journalist, public speaker, and co-host, with her partner Christopher Robinson, of the podcast Labyrinths. Between 2007 and 2015, she spent nearly four years in an Italian prison and eight years on trial for a murder she didn’t commit. She has since become an advocate for criminal justice reform and media ethics. She sits on the board of the Frederick Douglass Project for Justice. Find Amanda online on X/Twitter and Instagram and on her website, and check out her excellent podcast Labyrinths that she co-hosts with Christopher Robinson. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

My guest this week is Brett Larkin, yoga instructor and author of Yoga Life: : Habits, Poses, and Breathwork to Channel Joy Amidst the Chaos (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: Practicing yoga with awareness The appeal of yoga for helping us remember that we’re more than our minds and brains Yoga as a “science laboratory” to observe what’s happening internally and how one responds to life The moment my guest discovered what yoga can teach us about ourselves How to distinguish our highest Self from the inner strategist that keeps us in unhelpful patterns Looking for opportunities to move through life in a new way Crafting a yoga practice to offer you what you need 20 minutes as a thoroughly adequate length of yoga practice Self-care and being one’s own parents The complementary energies of the masculine (Shiva) and feminine (Shakti) Balancing acceptance and change, as in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Prioritizing the breath in yoga as a means to awareness The non-optimal inhibited breathing we often get trapped in A brief guided experience in healthy breathing Discovering through yoga that there is a healthier way to live Brett Larkin is the founder of Uplifted Yoga and the author of Yoga Life. She has trained thousands of yoga teachers, and her training has set the standard for quality online certification since 2015. Brett’s award-winning YouTube channel has with over half a million subscribers, and her Uplifed Yoga Podcast empowers listeners to actively design their lives using yoga’s ancient wisdom. Yoga enthusiasts love her courses on Kundalini, Prenatal Yoga, and the Uplifted Yoga Academy. Learn more about Brett and her practice at her website. Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Steve Taylor, author of the new book, The Adventure: A Practical Guide to Spiritual Awakening (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: The practical components of “enlightenment” or “spiritual awakening” Commonalities across different spiritual traditions The unease and anxiety created by a sense of separateness from the world and others The fundamental background unease humans tend to feel The hijacking of spiritual awakening by the ego Aligning yourself with the organic impulse toward growth and greater awareness The process of waking up and transforming through intense suffering The naturalness of waking up, which often happens spontaneously Disidentification with the thought mind as the first step in spiritual awakening The difference between identifying vs. deidentifying with a worry The power of emptying one’s mind The relative amount of time spent in absorption, abstraction, and awareness A “gentle mental nudge” to spend more time in awareness Accepting your non-acceptance and embracing your imperfections Steve Taylor, PhD, is the author of many bestselling books. He’s senior lecturer in psychology at Leeds Beckett University and the chair of the Transpersonal Psychology Section of the British Psychological Society.  Steve’s articles and essays have been published in over 100 academic journals, magazines, and newspapers. He blogs for Scientific American and Psychology Today. Visit him online at his website.  Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe

Dr. Beth Kurland, psychologist and author, discusses finding peace of mind in difficult times, self-compassion, connecting with our wise self, and calming the nervous system through proper breathing and mindfulness practices

My guest this week is Dr. Peter Levine, who is well-known for being the developer of Somatic Experiencing. He’s also the author of a new book: An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey (affiliate link), which we focused on in this very enjoyable and meaningful discussion. Peter shared about how his own wounds from early in life were a big part of what led him into the field of trauma therapy. We explored how the healing continues, even now in Peter’s ninth decade. Topics we discussed included: What Peter means when he describes himself as a modern “Chiron” Using our own wounds in life as we’re working to help others Getting to trauma memories and healing through embodiment in somatic experiencing The horrific trauma Peter experienced early in his life The dream that led Peter to share this book rather than writing it only for his own healing The significance of dreams for waking life Learning to attend to the promptings of the unconscious mind The relation between somatic experiencing and an approach like cognitive behavioral therapy The role of the vagus nerve in the trauma response and in healing Using the body to encounter our traumas in a healing way Why a union of the body and mind tends to reduce anxiety The disconnection we so often experience between our minds and bodies Peter’s reaction to a meditation workshop several decades ago The idea of “living your dying” Connections between death and the divine The promises and pitfalls of psychedelics Peter Levine, PhD, is the renowned developer of Somatic Experiencing. He holds a doctorate in medical and biological Physics from the University of California at Berkeley and a doctorate in psychology from International University. The recipient of four lifetime achievement awards, he is the author of several books, including Waking the Tiger, which has now been printed in 33 countries and has sold over a million copies. Learn more about: Peter Levine Somatic Experiencing An Autobiography of Trauma Get full access to Think Act Be with Seth Gillihan at thinkactbe.substack.com/subscribe