The Best of You

Phew! Buckle up. Part 2 of my conversation with Aundi Kolber is out today, and it is absolute 🔥🔥🔥! We set aside the script and got real about our own experiences , including. . .1. How people pleasing becomes a survival response2. The shame we feel when we start to change3. Alison's unexpected experience of comfort in a crisis4. Jesus and the Nervous System5. Did Jesus ever get "activated"?6. The problem with toxic positivity & spiritual bypassingFind a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.Check out Aundi Kolber's new book, Strong Like Water anywhere books are sold!Listen to Part 1 of our conversation: Episode 45More about the Fawn Response: Episode 14More about Trauma: Episode 4Want to receive free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly email.Thanks to our sponsors:    Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.  Order Dr. Amen's new book, Change Your Brain Every Day today!This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.  Music by Andy Luiten    Sound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What an honor to have my friend and fellow therapist, Aundi Kolber on the podcast today! You do not want to miss Part 1 of our two-part  conversation on her brand new book, Strong like Water: Finding the  Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things--and Experience True FlourishingAundi and I connected through social media, and she has become the dearest real life friend. It was my  absolute honor to have this conversation with her about her personal  story and her new book, Strong Like Water, available for pre-order now.  Here's what we cover. . .1. Why it's unsustainable to always be  the "strong one"  2. The brave decision that led to her to reimagine strength3. 3 different types of strength and how to move between them4. How to find safety when you need it the most5. The difference between information and whole body transformation6. How Aundi has come to understand strength nowFind a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Want free bonus content? Sign up for my free weekly emailRelated Episodes: Episode 15: CPTSD—The Pain of A Million Paper Cuts Episode 4: What Do I Need To Know About Trauma? Thanks to our sponsors:Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any  of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice  nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and  products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is all about anger. It's an emotion that can do great harm and one that also has great benefits.  Whether you thrive on anger or try your best to bury it, one thing's for sure—we all have to reckon with it. When you learn to work with your anger, it can become a powerful force for good in your life and in the lives of the people you love. Today, my friend Rowena Day (see Episode 31) returns to the podcast as we discuss how we've learned to create space for healthy anger in our lives.Here's what we cover:  1. Practical strategies to befriend and build trust with anger 2. The guilt and fear we feel about having anger 3. How to manage anger while parenting4.  Examples of speaking on behalf of anger vs. from it5. The problem with comparing our pain to the pain of others6. Jesus and angerBe sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources.Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Thanks to our sponsors:    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.  Visit Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save.Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You.  Music by Andy Luiten    Sound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, I am joined by my friend and co-author of Boundaries for Your Soul, Kimberly Miller, to discuss the almighty inner critic, how to get space from it, and how to bring this work into your relationships. Kim describes how she first encountered Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how combining it with Christian faith and practice changed her life.We discuss:1. How Kim finally healed the ache in her heart2. The most ubiquitous part of the soul3. Why self-acceptance is better than self-condemnation4. How to differentiate from painful emotions5. A real-time exercise for quieting your inner critic6. How this work translates into marriageFind a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Connect with Kimberly Miller at kimberlyjunemiller.com or on Insight TimerBe sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here.Thanks to our sponsors:Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Other Episodes in this Series: Episode 39: Boundaries for Your Soul—How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions & Why Parts of Us Get Stuck in the Past Episode 41: Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety—How to Calm the Chaos Within and the Joy of Internal Boundaries Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness, Set Boundaries with Loneliness, and What to Do When You Don’t Have Time for this Work Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any   of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling   advice  nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The  content  and  products provided on this podcast are for informational  purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You need your pain. Grief makes you real, and disappointment can inspire creativity, change, and growth. Sadness brings texture to the joys we experience. And yet, it's also not wise to let sadness take us over.In today's episode, we discuss how to set healthy boundaries with emotions like sadness and loneliness. Here's what we cover:—The surprising benefits of sadness—3 types of grief—The science of tears and how they help us—What loneliness needs to heal—Childhood play and how it informs your adult dreams—What to do when you just don't have the time for the painBe sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here.Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Thanks to our sponsors:Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.Listen & subscribe to The Snack Show - https://tinyurl.com/TheSnackShowPodcastGet 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here. Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any  of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice  nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and  products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many of us live at war with ourselves. We hate our anxiety or battle with fear.We beat ourselves up or try to get rid of these parts of us. But this approach only makes things worse. One of the most surprising ways to calm your anxiety is to stop waging war against it.In today's episode we discuss how to honor your fear and soothe your anxiety so that you are in charge of them, not the other way around. Here's what we cover:1. A picture of healthy internal boundaries2. How anxiety tries to protect us3. The surprising truth about fear4. How to establish healthy boundaries with both fear and anxiety 5. Fear and the Bible6. 5 Steps to work through fear and anxietyBe sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here.Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Thanks to our sponsors:    Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.  Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.   Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.  Music by Andy Luiten    Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik    While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like a part of your soul is trapped in the past, holding you back from fully embracing the present and moving forward? Pain, fear, worry, or even bitterness can weigh heavy on our hearts and minds. This is a common experience for all of us at times.In today's episode, I guide you through a 5 step process of healing and growth. We'll discuss how to mend the parts of your soul that are causing you distress.Here's what we cover:  1. 5 Steps to healing painful emotions 2. How to overcome criticism, shame, and judgment 3. 4 Questions to grow in self-discovery 4. A surprising way to pray throughout the day 5. Why parts of us struggle to experience God's loveFind a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.Remember, this journey is a process, not a one-time event. With the right tools and guidance, you can learn to make peace with the parts of yourself.Be sure to pick up your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here.Thanks to our sponsors:    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp-- Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month!    Organifi- Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.  Brooklinen-- Go to Brooklinen.com today and use code BESTOFYOU to save!Music by Andy Luiten    Sound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all need a map to our soul.A way to understand the emotions, the wounds, the areas that feel broken.  That's what I love about the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy—it provides a map that everybody can incorporate into their daily spiritual practice.  It's your guide to navigating overwhelming thoughts and feelings.  Today on the podcast, I'm walking you through this map, including the following:   1. A picture of wholeness  2.  The cost of not tending your inner life  3. A map of the parts of your soul  4. The 3 types of parts we all have  5. How Jesus relates to each part6. What it means to have healthy boundaries inside your soulGet your 3 free Boundaries for Your Soul resources here.Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!Hiya Health—Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.Have questions you want me to address on our next podcast series? Leave them here.Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik  While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on the podcast, I'm talking with my friend and teaching pastor at Crossroads Church in Cincinnati, Alli Patterson, about her new book, How to Stay Standing. In this powerful and practical episode, Alli shares her own story of hitting rock bottom when the scaffolding of her life collapsed, and how she rebuilt the foundation from the ground up. We discuss the following:1. How tiny decisions can lead us toward devastating realities2. What kept Alli from making eye contact for over 6 months3. How shame sneaks in, even when you know you’ve been forgiven by God4. The power of telling your story in safe places5. 3 practical ways to build a strong foundation6. How to take risks on GodFind a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Thanks to our sponsors:  Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!  Hiya Health— Visit hiyahealth.com/BESTOFYOU and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.Get 46% off Boundaries for Your Soul & The Best of You here.Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik  While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes  only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're discussing how to detox from the false beliefs that keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns of relating to other people. These hidden messages are sneaky. They might sound true in the moment, but they keep us from the healthy two-way relationships we need.Here's what we discuss:1. Examples of toxic thinking2. How it contaminates our relationships3. An example of toxic thinking from the Bible4. How to re-frame toxic thoughtsPlus, I answer your questions:—How do I communicate with other people about what I'm going through? —Can spiritual bypassing become a form of numbing?Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here.Thanks to our sponsor:Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.Resources in this episode: For more on The 7 Red Flags of Friendship and Spiritual Bypassing, see Chapters 8 and 10 of The Best of You, by Dr. Alison Cook Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really? Episode 2: What Should I Know About Gaslighting? Episode 35: Change is Hard–Why We All Need to Detox From Unhealthy Dependencies From Time to Time Episode 36: An Update on My Social Media Detox & How to Create Boundaries With Toxic Distractions, Numbing, & Unhealthy Coping Tactics Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and  any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling  advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content  and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes  only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices