Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson

Amy Jo Goddard, author of bestseller Lesbian Secrets for Men and Woman on Fire hails from a Military Dad and Recovering-Catholic-Proudly-Sandra-Dee-Mom; she had no other choice but to become a sex educator just to sail the shaky waters of human experience and help her family survive. She is an activist and that has taken many forms, including a gynecological teaching assistant, ising her body to teach pelvic exams, taking on the medical community re: power and consent in her film, At Your Cervix, to change the practice of on-consensual pelvic exams on anesthetized women, and now with her conference, Sex, Power and Leadership. What You'll Hear: -Amy's feminist awakening and her definition of feminism - How can we use our power to uplift voices and people who are marginalized - What has evolved in sex education since the 80s? - How activism has changed with the internet - How can parents do better at educating their children about sex? - How doing your own work around sex and shame can help your kids - Using sexual archetypes and rituals to understand who we are - Amy's experience as gynecological assistant, and how she used her own body to teach pelvic and breast exams - Unethical ways that OBGYN students are taught pelvic exams - Gynecological trauma and how it occurs, and how it can affect our sexual identities - Trauma in the medical industry, and how to rehumanize patients - Amy's Sex, Power and Leadership Online Conference 4/30-5/6 - Where does it fit in to the current cultural narrative? Who should watch? - Creating sustainable change after #metoo - The importance of including people of color and non-binary people in the conversation about sex and her conference - How do I do my personal work on myself in order to feel empowered in all things, AND what is the collective work that needs to be done to uplevel and become a space of empowerment for people? - Censorship online, and online power structures - Creating more equity and justice in what we produce and share - Taking on the medical community in her film At Your Cervix - The conference is open to everyone, and will help people figure out what's next in the conversation around sex and power. It's an opportunity for all of us to look at sex, power and leadership. https://cc100.isrefer.com/go/SPL18/kann/

This episode breaks down: what is Sexological Bodywork? What kind of people need Sexological Bodywork? Who would be a good fit to take this training. Deej & Uma are international Sexological Bodywork teachers and teacher trainers. I traveled to Australia for them to be my guides and I cannot recommend this training, and them as teachers highly enough. This year, they'll be teaching the program in LA, a huge opportunity for those of us in the US! Take a look at their website to learn more about the program: www.issaustralia.com What they share: What is sexological bodywork, and how can it help you How their friendship has evolved over the past 20 years of working together Their sexological bodywork training, and how they teach How cultural sexual histories affect trainings across the world What it's like to witness people coming more alive & more embodied How sexological bodywork bridges the gap between therapy, physical therapy, doctors, & sex therapy Looking at "symptoms" through a positive lens -- seeing them instead as doorways The profession of sexological bodywork: the training is for anyone who is enthusiastic about learning, who wants to explore the body with curiosity, and those who want to go deeper into personal development What you'll hear: (besides my incredibly sick voice) How Deej & Uma became sexological bodyworkers Why they don't use the words "energy," "masculine," or "feminine" during their trainings How they hold space in sexbod trainings for all different kinds of practitioners (from yoga teachers to doctors) The curriculum: learning through experimentation, and shaping the brain and nervous system so that we can have more choice, awareness, and pleasure The differences between cultures, when teaching in Australia, England, & beyond Uma's experience with a client who didn't have an erection with a partner for over 20 years, and the daily practices that changed his life Using breath, movement, awareness, and touch to decrease anxiety & increase pleasure Deej's passion for teaching and increasing erotic embodiment skills Sexological bodywork bridges the gap between professions Kimberly's experience in sexbod training, with coming into contact with sex work & how that changed her biases Intentionally using different words to reconfigure how we think about the body's signals, doorways, and opportunities (instead of pathologizing or calling the signals symptoms) If you're at a session, there is an immense amount of health in your system. We're missing eroticism and emotion in the professional field, and that's where sexbod comes in Who makes an ideal sexbod student Immersing in erotic embodiment, and how that changes students http://instituteofsomaticsexology.com/

Centehua shares her personal journey with her body image-- of becoming a mother at 19, taking on her mother and grandmothers' assessment of her body, and deciding to get a mommy makeover. She takes us through her journey of deciding to remove the implants at 40 as a ritual of self-love and self-reclamation. She does so without general anesthetic so that she can be fully present in the reclamation, and minimize the trauma to her system. What Centi Shares: -How she shifted from being trained out of her body's wisdom (by parents/culture), to living her embodied wisdom -Her journey with an eating disorder and her body -When she had a mommy makeover and what happens when you ignore your intuition & body wisdom -The fascinating and important story of how she chose to stay conscious during her breast implant removal -How important men are, and healing the masculine and feminine after #metoo -Women must embody mother consciousness & compassion to heal the planet What You'll Hear: -A deep connection to our bodies helps us heal and to be objective -Sexual trauma and ballet contributing to body shame -How her love for her new baby shifted her health -Her disempowering birth experiences as a young woman -Her mother and grandmother's idea of physical beauty, and how it affected her -Why she ignored her intuition and had plastic surgery after she had two children -The real consequences of plastic surgery -Taking out her breast implants and her personal work around that decision: rituals, prayers and forgiveness -She chose to do have her implants removed with only local anesthesia: nothing to alter her consciousness -How the surgery showed her the intelligence of her body -Why she chose to be conscious during the removal of her implants "If you look good, sex will be good." -- nothing could be further from the truth Encouraging women to support the men who are showing up & doing their best The importance of being in our feminine as we heal trauma on the planet Patriarchy AND matriarchy are unhealthy: finding a new way Rising above shame and blame and embodying compassion to heal relationships and the planet Why it's so important to providing a space for women & men to feel connected and have a dialogue "We are swimming in magic: it's so tangible and simple. You can just look outside and connect to the lifeforce that we share with the tree, with the grass: just to remember that we are alive. There is so much beauty in this world."

Joelle Hann, the Brooklyn Book Doctor, shares insights on the book writing process from idea to publication. They discuss the importance of having a great editor, crafting a book proposal, situating a book in the market, and the challenges faced by first-time authors in the publishing industry.

EP: Magamama talks about natural birth, gender roles, and exploratory sex with Carlos Marin Jr. In this episode, I share: My birth story and soul calling to write The Fourth Trimester; the realities of postpartum care today Information for men postpartum, role of the masculine in birth, and why we're not optimizing our biology How to reframe sex postpartum; why childbirth is the one thing that makes us reconsider the way we're doing sex Why birth is also a death and other thoughts on rites of passage Thoughts on losing control and increasing your capacity to hold charge Natural birth vs. hospital birth and how to choose the right care providers Tid-bits on exploratory sex, the connection between birth and sex, and sexological bodywork You will hear: Is my pelvis going to split in two? And more from my birth story (2:52) Is postpartum depression related to a lack of information? (5:24) What's missing from the 6-week postpartum visit (6:29) Information for men postpartum (8:09) Reframing the conversation about sex (8:55) It's okay to not want penetrative sex and other ways to connect (9:10) Childbirth is one thing that makes us consider the way we're doing sex (9:27) What is a rite of passage? How does it differ in other cultures? (12:11) One of the hallmarks of a rite of passage is a death (13:39) A man's role in birth is to protect the birth space (21:13) How do you approach prenatal education? (26:25) The two doctors in North County San Diego for natural birth (27:20) Realizing natural births are as safe as hospital births (28:13) How do you prepare someone to lose control? (30:12) Exploratory sex is awesome preparation for birth (31:12) Many women don't get to lose control during a hospital birth (34:08) Go to the doulas and the midwives to find natural birth doctors (36:00) Find a care provider who believes in women and natural childbirth = activist (36:50) How Carlos dealt with seeing his wife in "pain" during childbirth (38:08) History of birth, witch trials; patriarchy (40:26) On hospitals and creating a birthing environment (45:13) What is a doula? (47:17) The Fourth Trimester (Dec. 26) and why people should read (51:30) My vision that all women can reclaim full sexual expression (59:40) What does postpartum mean to you? (1:00:21) How do birth and sex relate? (1:01:25) What do you do as a sexological bodyworker? (1:09:29) Two doctors in North County San Diego for natural birth: Dr. Capetanakis at Scripps Encinitas; Dr. Cobb at Pomerado

"We blame the victim, and medicate her as the only offering." Dr. Kelly Brogan is a board-certified non-prescribing psychiatrist. She is the author of NYT Bestseller, A Mind of Your Own. (Get your copy ASAP). She is revolutionizing the way that we view mental health and how people heal. She is a pioneer and a trailblazer and this interview is full of the fire that propels her. I was honored that she shared her own experience of childbirth and motherhood, and why she didn't think she was "mom material." What You'll Hear: Kelly went into medicine to serve women The best births are natural births, according to the evidence Her postpartum period was a reckoning, which allowed her to wake up and honor herself We blame the victim, when it comes to postpartum The worst things that happen to us are moments of psycho-spiritual initiation Her tremendous masculine energy, her need to fight for others, and how she wasn't sure she was mom material What Kelly Shares: Why women are prescribed antidepressants at double the rate of men (1:34) How she woke up to holistic medicine & spirituality (3:10) Why she had a natural birth (4:00) Her postpartum journey with Hashimoto's (4:50) The biological reasons autoimmune diseases begin expressing during postpartum (6:49) And the other reasons: postpartum is a reckoning and an opportunity (10:07) Postpartum is a psycho-spiritual awakening (11:33) Restructuring yourself and tapering off psych meds (14:14) What are you stuffing that caused you to go on medication? (16:00) We don't hold space for fear, and that's exactly where we need to go (16:25) We meet our true selves in natural childbirth (17:00) Why Kelly didn't think she was mom material (18:15) Natural home births are the truth (21:10) We need to live what we talk about, to be great practitioners (24:10) The history-making results of Kelly's program, the Vital Mind Reset (26:25)

What Ellen Shares: Her exploration of feminism and motherhood Her new understanding of career after motherhood How the cultural standards of having to do it all, alone, sets mothers up for burnout How burnout and health issues allowed her learn how to receive help and collaborate with community Her desire to add motherhood, bodies, and intuition to the feminist conversation; plus giving women the permission and agency to do what's right for them What You'll Hear: How Ellen's work shifted when she became a mother (2:30) How her feminism has shifted with motherhood (4:24) How motherhood has been seen as an oppressive institution (5:50) Is feminism about everything other than motherhood? (6:20) Feelings of disempowerment/invisibility after becoming a mother (7:53) Who am I/what is my value in the world now that I'm a mother? (8:40) The plan vs. the reality, after having a baby (9:53) "I thought I would have a child and keep going in the same direction" (11:37) Andrea O'Reilly's books on feminism & motherhood (13:21) Motherhood as an institution or mothering as a female experience (15:13) The hormonal differences between men and women as it relates to work (17:18) Burn-out and depletion in mothers (18:02) Self-care as rebellion (23:05) Prioritizing when you're in a sprint (25:25) Balancing desires & motherhood (30:52) Self-worth & mothering (32:30) Creating a home life where everyone feels nourished (34:00) The hard work of mothering that goes unnoticed (34:48) American values of individuation (36:43) Over-valuing independence has a cost (38:45) How much can I do in collaboration? (39:40) The stress of being overly self-reliant (42:35) Attachment styles and sex (44:17) What's missing from feminism now (46:40) How do we give women the support to choose what's right for them? (48:06) Throwing out the word feminism (51:10) Unrealistic expectations in postpartum & motherhood (54:00) Being present for a child is an enormous gift (55:20) Find her here: http://ellenboeder.com/ https://relationshipschool.net/

Ellen and Kimberly Share: The inside scoop on Exiting the Shame Matrix course and why comes first in STREAM training Lots of great information about the four domains of pelvic health: the biochemical pelvis, the biomechanical pelvis, the all important scar tissue domain, and the emotional pelvis Most importantly, what the shame matrix is, how it affects access to life as a whole, and why freeing yourself from it is *essential* before helping others with their sexuality Your right to self pleasure and thoughts on radical sexual autonomy and patriarchal culture All about the next Radical Bodywork module and reclaiming the erotic as love of life The differences between touching from eros and giving erotic massage and all the things that come up in pelvic touchwork from arousal to longing to transference The role of assessment in navigating boundaries and connected relational exchange STREAM training news and how to get involved if working with sexuality is your calling What You'll Hear: What is the full scope of STREAM? What does it stand for? (1:40) What are the essential four parts of health? Ellen breaks it down (2:49) What it means to unpack shame and why there's potential for transformation in the genitals (7:34) Why is Exiting the Shame Matrix the first module of this training? Hint: Shame affects access to life as a whole (9:32) A right to self pleasure and how we explored it in the course (12:07) Thoughts on privacy, secrecy, and self pleasure (12:37) When it comes to genitals, men wanna be bigger and women wanna be less (13:37) What is sacred deconditioning? Why taking back authority is key (14:30) Owning your own sexuality is CONFRONTING in practice (16:45) We must exit our own shame matrix and be really clear of who we are as sexual beings before helping others with their sexuality (19:05) Authentic eros vs. shamed based eros. The power of clearing the sexual shadow (21:50) It's time to own our sexual autonomy and how this relates to #metoo (23:10) Why undoing shame is powerful in groups (23:26) Activating Inner Jaguar Course as titrated step into the shame matrix. Be seen in a space with other people (26:00) Next module (in Feb 2018) is Radical Bodywork: Bone Holding, Body Reading & Touch with Eros (28:30) Why radical touch? Literally means touching the root - your essential erotic self (28:50) The difference between touching from eros and erotic massage (33:30) Kimberly shares what a client may experience with pelvic touch (34:40) How is arousal held in pelvic touchwork? (36:11) Is genital touch a transference disaster? How do you create good boundaries? Ellen explains the importance of assessment (37:27) This is about training your hands for accurate perception, which can only be done if you're free and clear of your own pelvic floor tension (44:06) The emotional pelvis (45:34) "No one says cute little anus…" (thoughts on genital amnesia coupled with shame) (46:41) The genital hole is a kind of trauma (50:37) Second STREAM training in 2018 and how to learn more. Calling those with a calling to work with sexuality in their body-based practices (51:30) Upcoming STREAM trainings, including Radical Bodywork https://www.scartissueremediation.com/events Activate Your Inner Jaguar: Embodied Consent & Boundaries https://www.facebook.com/events/161288511184711/

EP18: Sil Reynolds on Mothering and Daughtering "Better" (Not Easier) with More Connection and Support You are really in for a huge treat in meeting Sil Reynolds. She and I have connected intermittently over the years. Although our contacts have been brief, she has given me gems that have stuck with me over time. At a time when I felt deeply insecure about mothering and especially single mothering, she told me, a child needs ONE person to securely attach to. And she is a person you listen to and trust when she speaks. She is a wise elder, a former women's health nurse practitioner, a coach and teacher of women and mothers and an author, together with her stellar daughter, Eliza Reynolds, of the book Mothering and Daughtering. What Sil Shares: Why it's our job to stay at the center of our daughter's world How mothering and daughtering can get better (not easier) during the teen years - meaning more connected, deeper, and closer. And how conflict is an opportunity for deeper connection. Her choice to mother more consciously than her mother and the process of "growing up," confronting undernourished places internally Her thoughts on rites of passage, attachment, dependence, and interdependence The Feminine rising in men and women = we need each other The wisdom of slowing down, connecting with other women, and creating creative containers Perspectives on mothering today. Is it really harder? How we deal with raising kids in a digital age What You'll Hear: On becoming the mother of a daughter (6:23) As a mother, it's our job to stay at the center of our daughter's world and not believe peers will be a better influence (7:20) It can get better in the teen years. Better doesn't necessarily mean it feels better…(8:12) Sil on "growing up" as a mother and finding mentors and guides (9:18) Life and death cycles and rites of passage (10:58) The story of Vasilisa: An old way of relating as a mother and daughter is dying and a new way is being born (13:04) Mothering is raising your daughter to become herself (14:15) Attachment objects; vulnerable attachment requests at any age (15:35) What kind of rituals can we provide to honor rites of passage today? (17:42) On mothering and daughtering, interdependence, and attachment (20:04) Describe Feminism (with a capital F) (21:19) Feminine rising in men and women says, "Bring it on need!" (24:00) When the tears come in the circle, there's the oracle. Let your feelings catch up with you. (26:31) Sil sharing Marion Woodman's quote (27:29) The antidote to so many things these days is slowing down, curing the "too much, too fast, too soon" to reveal a whole other level of understanding (28:33) Is mothering harder today than it ever was? (30:02) Motherhood is exhausting because we don't get enough help. We don't have the natural supports we've always had (31:38) Don't miss this quote! (32:40) Attachment parenting doesn't stop in adolescence. We need to be just as involved in a different way (34:04) Examples of missing containers in our culture: sisterhood, mothering circles, etc. (34:57) On "rupture and repair" and why conflict and communication are important (38:14) How do we deal with technology and mothering? (40:25) Perspectives on raising children in a digital age through the attachment lens (42:36) On setting limits with children (47:30) Attachment doesn't replace limits (48:02) When you're in right relationship with your child, there's a natural hierarchy (48:18) "If you have your child's heart, no discipline is necessary" (48:50) About Mothering and Daughtering mothering courses and upcoming events (49:04) https://motheringanddaughtering.com Video Blog on Tech Boundaries with Deborah McNamara: https://motheringanddaughtering.com/setting-real-tech-boundaries-kid/ Hold onto Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neuf, Ph.D. and Gabor Mate, MD https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/120863/hold-on-to-your-kids-by-gordon-neufeld-phd-and-gabor-mate-md/9780307361967/

EP 18: Bern Mendez on Finding the Love You Want Bern Mendez from YourGreatLifeTV helps women find their soulmates, and it works! He believes in big epic love and helps women get there. I love inviting wonderful men on the podcast. Bern's heart is as big as the world. I hope you love the conversation as much as I loved having it. I am proud to call Bern a dear friend. What Bern Shares: Why he works with women (hint: women will save the planet) How standards work: differentiating between what would be nice to have, vs what you need There IS sacrifice in love His view of sex on the first date How to find a good guy (yes, they're out there, and you can find one if you get uncomfortable/do the work) What You'll Hear: Why he works with women & not men (3:28) What is women's #1 relationship problem? (5:30) Should women lower their standards? (6:55) What happens when we raise our own standards for how we show up in the world (8:40) Why haven't you met The One? (11:40) How to remove obstacles to your feminine energy (14:00) It's important to work with the body for lasting change (17:40) What can happen when you have sex on the first date: your heart & vagina vs your mind (19:15) Is it the woman's job to say "let's wait?" (25:50) Where are the decent guys? (29:30) The 5% rule (31:45) Navigating online dating (32:15) Look within to find a good guy (32:59) Go places where there are men (34:12) One of Bern's success stories (39:30) Who gets a love coach? (42:40) You can change, no matter where you are (44:24)