EP21: Ellen Boeder on Motherhood, Feminism, and the Real Costs of Overvaluing Independence

Feb 16, 2018

Ask episode

Chapters

Transcript

Episode notes

What Ellen Shares:

Her exploration of feminism and motherhood
Her new understanding of career after motherhood
How the cultural standards of having to do it all, alone, sets mothers up for burnout
How burnout and health issues allowed her learn how to receive help and collaborate with community
Her desire to add motherhood, bodies, and intuition to the feminist conversation; plus giving women the permission and agency to do what's right for them

What You'll Hear:

How Ellen's work shifted when she became a mother (2:30)
How her feminism has shifted with motherhood (4:24)
How motherhood has been seen as an oppressive institution (5:50)
Is feminism about everything other than motherhood? (6:20)
Feelings of disempowerment/invisibility after becoming a mother (7:53)
Who am I/what is my value in the world now that I'm a mother? (8:40)
The plan vs. the reality, after having a baby (9:53)
"I thought I would have a child and keep going in the same direction" (11:37)
Andrea O'Reilly's books on feminism & motherhood (13:21)
Motherhood as an institution or mothering as a female experience (15:13)
The hormonal differences between men and women as it relates to work (17:18)
Burn-out and depletion in mothers (18:02)
Self-care as rebellion (23:05)
Prioritizing when you're in a sprint (25:25)
Balancing desires & motherhood (30:52)
Self-worth & mothering (32:30)
Creating a home life where everyone feels nourished (34:00)
The hard work of mothering that goes unnoticed (34:48)
American values of individuation (36:43)
Over-valuing independence has a cost (38:45)
How much can I do in collaboration? (39:40)
The stress of being overly self-reliant (42:35)
Attachment styles and sex (44:17)
What's missing from feminism now (46:40)
How do we give women the support to choose what's right for them? (48:06)
Throwing out the word feminism (51:10)
Unrealistic expectations in postpartum & motherhood (54:00)
Being present for a child is an enormous gift (55:20)

Find her here: