Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson

Ellen Heed on the Four Domains of Pelvic Health- Biomechanics, Biochemistry, Trauma/Emotions and Scar Tissue What Ellen Shares: How to assess the origins of pain in the body, and the four domains of health Your unconscious mind lives in your body! How castor oil and self-massage can to help heal your scar tissue How those with elastic connective tissue are drawn toward yoga and veganism … and how that can contribute to tears and injuries during birth How diet (especially eating animal products) influences healing The differences between collagenous and elastic people Her February Touch Skills workshop with Kimberly, where you can learn to feel the difference between emotional tension, biochemical tension & scar tissue in the pelvis What You'll Hear: The four domains of health - biochemical (inflammation), emotional (tension stuck in the body), biomechanical (posture, ergonomics, constitution), and scar tissue (1:06) Painful sex origins (1:38) Scars affect our physiology (6:10) Birth has a potential of scar tissue, which can cause pelvic/sexual pain (6:35) One domain of health affects another (7:51) The difference between scars and adhesions (9:24) Chronic emotional upset causes inflammation (9:45) Is your problem scar tissue? (13:02) Scar tissue as a cause of bad posture, and a result of it (15:29) Connecting pain, trauma, and biomechanics with scar tissue (17:28) Connective tissue characteristics: are you chewing gum or a superball? (19:54) Using collagen products to supplement after birth (22:18) Case study: how veganism might influence healing after a pelvic floor tear (22:35) Can your body heal well, without eating meat? (24:28) Our relationship to the world based on our connective tissue (27:00) People who are more collagenous are more extroverted, shoot from the hip, and move toward diarrhea under stress, and do very well on a plant based diet; people who are more elastin are more introverted, take a long time to make decisions, move toward constipation under stress, and tend to build a weak type of scar tissue, unless they have animal protein in their diets (28:40) How do we know when tension is emotional? (34:40) How important it is to have tools in all four domains of health (37:35) Assessment is everything (38:18) 39:25 - 39:47 Audio problem You can feel the difference between emotional tension, biochemical tension & scar tissue (39:48) Touch skills workshop with Ellen and Kimberly - learn how to feel these differences (41:49)

EP16: Deborah Claire Bagg on Same Sex Fertility and the Vulnerability of the First Year of Motherhood Today I have a guest who is going to charm you like you haven't been charmed quite yet. She has the best accent and a very warm heart. Deborah Claire Bagg is the owner and founder of the yoga studio, LoveisJuniper in Brooklyn- which is a yoga center, flower shop and has treatment spaces. Deborah is a yoga teacher, yoga teacher trainer, doula, somatic therapist and new mom. I met her online- but we had a lot of worlds in common as she went to Naropa and I lived in Boulder for five years. She came for a session when I was working in Brooklyn and then immediately invited me to teach at her new space that opened this year. She is a wise woman, and has immersed herself in the feminine arts. We are going to talk about the journey of same sex fertility, the road to starting a non-traditional family and the vulnerability of the first year of motherhood. What Deborah Shares: The wild and epic road of same sex fertility, especially when you find yourself there unexpectedly How yoga practice impacts birth The vulnerability of being a new mother Gems of postpartum wisdom for the journey What You'll Hear: Becoming a same-sex mother by surprise (2:16) Opening a yoga center with a 4-month-old baby (5:00) Preference for a known donor (6:50) The actual "how" of getting pregnant (12:40) Her journey with a miscarriage (14:50) Well woman care with midwives (15:30) Headstanding to get pregnant (18:40) What is fertility beyond sperm and egg? (21:00) IUI at home (22:00) Pregnancy- ecstatic misery (25:50) Asking for reassurance (30:00) Deborah's birth chant (33:35) The surprises of postpartum (36:00) Her old self fed her new self (38:30) In woman-centered yoga practice, motherhood not included (39:00) In any big change in life you have to go through all the seasons (42:00) Audio glitch (45:30) Postpartum time= a lifetime inside of seconds Lessons learned from postpartum from the inside (48:00) It's difficult to mother when you don't have a connection to your body (50:00) All that was born from her journey to motherhood to one year (52:00) Tap into the wider field before crisis. Grander field of wisdom that is waiting. (54:40) www.loveisjuniper.com www.deborahbagg.com

**Trigger Warning** We cover sexual assault in this episode, and we go into deep grief space as Erin lost her sister in a brutal way. In this episode, we talk about breathwork as a therapeutic modality that bypasses the mind, the role of emotions, and dealing with grief. We ended up in some deep archetypal shizzle. The story of Erin's family, her mother and her sister has so many miraculous and redemptive elements for them as souls and family, but for us all. This episode took me to a place I wasn't planning to go, and I think it is very rich. We laughed and cried a lot. EP15: Erin Telford on Breathwork, the Role of Emotions, Grief & Redemption What You'll Hear: Why Erin chooses Breathwork as her main healing modality. The archetypal journey of Erin's sister (and their family) as a belly dancer and Zapatista activist in Mexico, and her mother's response. Erin's journey of leaving her wordly life in NYC and setting out on the road- first stop Joshua Tree Breaking the threads of aloneness How working with emotions allows for deep healing and getting to the root of things. What Erin Shares: What is Breathwork? (2:45) Emotional health as a corner (9:30) First part of Erin's story about her sister (9:40) Dealing with significant loss and grief (11:00) Erin's family story (14:00) including her mom getting pregnant, after the Dalcon shield, with her sister. Her sister's story (16:10) (Audio problem from 19:10-19:25) Her mother's response to her sister's murder in Mexico (20:20) Her mother's model of grieving and how it has healed their family (25:45) Giving up the supportive structures of life to move into true surrender (27:45) Working at Prada (32:30) and getting sick Lama Tsultrim Allione (35:30) Emotions—are they a liability? Safety in mental practices. When are you really doing the Work? (38:00) The role of DIY self-healing (40:30) Role and purpose of emotions (42:00) Kimberly doubts about doing things alone and confesses she doesn't like practicing yoga alone ;) (44:55) Dissolving stigma (48:20) Life as a single woman with no children at 42 & 43 (49:30) Putting lots of energy into work and healing practice, but personal life was not supportive enough, because there was not the right thread of personal community (51:40) The giving/receiving balance (52:30) Creating the rite of passage and sisterhood for her birthday (55:00) STAND on the EARTH (58:38)

EP14: Ellen Heed on STREAM School of Pelvic and Sexual Health, Sexological Bodywork, and True Health Today you will meet Ellen Heed- my mentor, the person who helped me heal my own birth injury and who paved the way for the new model of health that is culminating in our work in the STREAM school. We have taught STREAM together in England and 2018 is the first year we will bring this new radical model of pelvic and sexual health care to the US. Ellen is a Visionary Craniosacral practitioner and teacher and has taught anatomy and physiology all over the world for the past twenty years. You are in a for a treat. Get ready to get your mindbodysoul rocked. "Our hegemony over our own sexuality is a private matter and we have the option of taking private responsibility for that in a community peer-based support environment, which is what my vision is for STREAM to provide." In this episode, Ellen Heed shares: The importance of a peer model in healing modalities and relationship What contributes to healing, not management. What is Sexological Bodywork? What is STREAM- Scar Tissue Remediation Education & Management? Who is qualified to do STREAM work and provide this kind of care? You will hear: Ellen's first experience with postpartum pain (1:40) What contributed to radical healing in that first case study (3:50) Psychoemotional release with scar tissue resolution from a "perfect birth" (5:20) Can we still heal from birth years out? In my case, 2 ½ years post-birth (10:00) Who is scar tissue remediation for, in addition to new mothers? (12:55) Scar is a physical artifact of trauma. (15:30) Peer support models of health care (20:00) Audio gap at 23 minutes for 20 sec. Mapping as a ritual of initiation (25:30) Deep and broad overarching model of health (28:20) Absence of connective tissue as a living contributor to health (32:25) Stakeholdership is inherent in the healing process (39:30) What is Sexological Bodywork? (43:00) Who becomes a Sexological Bodyworker? (47:00) What is STREAM- Scar Tissue Remediation Education and Management (49:20) Who are good STREAM candidates? (54:45) What is a Private Membership Agreement (PMA)? (55:20) The Shame Matrix of the genitals (59:00) Future vision: that people in transitions of all kinds have access to mapping, and to somatic sexual and pelvic health care.

Spirituality and sexuality can be the same thing when trauma moves out of the way. In this episode, Jessica shares her personal story of being raised by beautiful and terrible wolves, and how she arrived at this path of being a spiritual teacher and filmmaker. What Jessica shares: How being raised by beautiful and terrible wolves shaped Jessica's path, when she was on her own at 14 Where and how she gets the "audas" and takes authority from her experience to write a book and teach without degrees and not follow the "path" Her approached to embodied spiritual and sexual counseling What happens when you stop drinking through sex How she is able to be an actress, teacher, and an author- to do it all What You'll Hear: When meditation causes everything you thought you wanted to fall away (8:40) How she was a sex educator since she was a kid (9:50) Her experience with and reverence for Somatic Experiencing (13:10) Post spiritual awakenings and how sexuality changed (14:30) Self-worth and sex, recognizing and going into her own personal trauma (15:30) Spiritual sex was available after unwinding the trauma (18:10) Material, emotional and mental material related to trauma and then orienting to everyday pleasure (22:00) Embodied counseling (24:00) How she manages being multi-passionate (27:00) Exploring the shadow (30:00) Sober sex- what to do when you have relied on substance to have good sex (33:30) All for casual sex when it's conscious (36:05) Meditation was the foundation that allowed her to welcome in other modalities (39:00) Sex-positive, Tantra, OMing community (41:00) What is a sex party? (42:30) Cos play (43:40) Storytelling and non-dual reality (47:00) Jessica's unique brand of self-love (54:00) Deep enjoyment is deep service

This interview is not about offering answers, a strategy or a plan but more how to navigate deep change by embracing the unknown, dancing with mystery and meeting one-self in a tender transparent integrity every step of the way. At the beginning of 2017, Jessica's business and marriage were falling apart, she was sinking into debt and found herself facing an identity crisis in both her personal and professional lives. She made a radical decision to embrace her resistance, step into her deepest fears, and set forth to intentionally fall apart in a wholesome way. Kimberly meets Jessica somewhere on her journey in this interview. She's rebuilding her marriage, and navigating how she "does business" from a place that's generative, collaborative and restorative. Jessica Durivage, the creator of Where is My Guru – an award winning podcast and online school for personal development and spiritual transformation has been a bridge builder for the health and wellness communities and conscious media for over 15 years. Where is My Guru has presented at SXSW, Hanuman Festival, and created the groundbreaking Sex, God & Yoga online conference for women. Currently, Jessica works with clients and small business supporting them in navigating change, building bridges, and transcending and creating new cultures that meet the business and the individuals who interact with it in an honest and wholesome way. In this episode Jessica shares: Why Jessica dissolved her business The issues Jessica encountered with a thriving business but a failing marriage, a sick father and in debt How we know what enough is for us as working women and parents Placing value on skillset within your passion How to allow space for yourself from breakdown to breakthrough What you'll hear: "Where's my Guru" Jessica's passion project (3:00) The assumptions made by people on social media when your business is virtual- it's not often what it looks like (10:00) Jessica becoming transparent and finding her truth (17:00) How we feel that we must be a "task master robot" (20:00) Conditioning from wholeness and placing value on our skillset (25:00) Slowing down, letting go and leaving room for the unknown to allow things to come (32:00) Approaching your "to do" list in a different way (38:00)

This podcast we discuss attachment theory and the nervous system. We talk about navigating relationships as new moms and as partners, co-dependence vs. interdependence and how mom, partner and baby's needs can all be met allowing everyone's cup to be full. In this episode Ellen shares: How attachment affects our nervous systems and relationships with our children and our partners. The reality of coming from an adulthood of independence into motherhood The challenges of preparing for the unknown The kind of family we can create where everyone can get there needs met How to preserve a great relationship and couple primacy What You'll Hear: Attachment theory 101 (2:00) What is regulation of affect emotions and feelings (4:30) How are we showing regulation of affect (7:30) Will these feelings effect my children – who's regulating the regulator? (10:00) The unique role of single parenting and co-regulation (13:30) Coming into parenthood from an adulthood of self-reliance and independence (16:00) It's not personal failure (18:00) Co-dependence vs. Interdependence (19:00) Separations and reunions (26:00) How to help ease transitions (28:00) Asking for help (32:00) What can you do ahead of time to continue marital satisfaction before baby (35:00) The couple bubble (40:00) I feel disconnected from my partner, is it too late to start? (45:00) What do you want to shout from your megaphone? (53:00) Ellen Boeder, MA, LPC has been a licensed psychotherapist since 2003, primarily working with women in a range of healing contexts. Her experience includes working with teenage girls in residential treatment, helping women recover from eating disorders, and facilitating women moving through trauma, addiction, mood, and relationship crises. She has a strong background in yoga and meditation, and her graduate training in Transpersonal Psychology also deeply inform her work. Since becoming a wife and a mother to two children (now 6 and 8 years old) she works primarily with couples. Ellen is trained in PACT, a therapeutic modality founded by Stan Tatkin, PsyD., that synthesizes attachment theory, neuroscience, affect regulation models to support couples in creating an enduring and nourishing relationship through secure functioning. Ellen is on faculty for The Relationship School, founded by her husband, Jayson Gaddis, and she also writes a blog on motherhood and relationship. With warmth and eloquence, Ellen brings her lived experience as a woman, wife, and mother into her understanding as a clinician. Find Ellen: www.ellenboeder.com www.rearrangedbymotherhood.com www.thepactinstitute.com www.relationshipschool.net

Jennifer Laurin is the creator and founder of Shunya Gates Temple and a Certified Tantra Counselor. A yoga practitioner and meditator, she is at work on a book entitled Unconditional Family, based on her own experience of maintaining family while dissolving marriage. In this episode, Jennifer shares: What Tantra is Why both men and women need to take the pressure off the cock Is erectile dysfunction actually sexual maturity? How to dissolve marriage without losing family What You'll Hear: Definition of Tantra (2:02) Introduction of the 'Song of Mahamudra' - Tilopa's Mahamudra Teaching to Naropa. (4:30) What is offered in Tantric Counseling sessions. (7:00) Making decisions from our own unique Yes (10:30) Taking pressure off the cock (15:20) Kimberly's experience with a partner who had erectile dysfunction (18:30) Myth busting about male arousal (20:00) If not cock, what? (23:00) Message to women about taking the pressure off the cock. (28:00) Men need foreplay too! (32:00) "Erectile dysfunction" or sexual maturity? (39:00) Alternative way to look at relationship transitions (49:00) Definition of right relationship (50:00) Family as an active living network of people who continue to know each other and support each other. (55:00) Give yourself permission to chart your own path. (61:00)

Tema Mercado is a Xicana mother of five children, wife and licensed midwife. I asked her to be on the Magamama podcast because I have had the privilege of watching her practice midwifery. I wanted to ask her about her dual practice in Tijuana and San Diego, to hear about how the birth center project in Tijuana is going, and also to talk about cultural appropriation in the birth community. I wanted to open dialogue for her concerns and desires for how we use the ancient technology in modern times, while being respectful. In this episode Tema shares: The differences between doulas, homebirth midwives, and certified nurse midwives How she found creative ways to provide health care to Haitian migrants in Mexico Thoughts on using ancient technology in modern culture Tema shares what adequate postpartum care looks like What you'll hear: The realization of what Tema witnessed daily as a rape advocate and midwife (3:45) What midwives take on that doulas don't (8:00) The three different types of midwives (13:00) The "Casa de La Salud" birth center (16:00) Tema's main goals of helping the Haitian migrants (20:00) Getting creative to provide prenatal care for Haitian migrants (25:00) The paradigm shift in Mexican birth culture throughout the years (30:00) The hypocrisy of the ancient technology being used today (37:00) Tema shares how she creates her postpartum practices and courses for new moms (43:00) Casa de la Salud birth center in Tijuana and the need for midwives in Mexico (50:00) To contribute to the Birth Center: https://www.youcaring.com/biancatemamercado-949385?fb_action_ids=10155176992783068&fb_action_types=youcaringcom%3Adonate To contribute to the Amazon wish list: http://www.lamatrizbirth.com/parteras-fronterizas/

In this episode, Juna and Kimberly talk about intuition. What exactly is intuition? How do you tap into it? What is its role in therapy? As a practitioner, how do you capitalize on your intuition, and also develop accurate discernment? Juna shares some of her gems and insights from her upcoming book, A Good Girl's Guide to Anger, and much more. Juna Mustad is a Life and Relationship coach, an Intuitive, and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner focused on helping people create healthy relationships, expand emotional awareness, and embrace their full potential. She combines her visionary gifts with body-centered therapy to help both individuals and couples, as well as organizations around the world. What You'll Hear: How Juna learned how to use and develop her natural intuition What happens when you receive a reading (tarot, astrology, energy work) that doesn't resonate with your inner knowing? How to feel emotions and connecting to the body, with intuition The role of intuition and how to use it as a practitioner (therapist, massage therapist) Where anger goes In this episode: What does intuition mean to you? (3:50) As a practitioner, how do you use your own intuitive gifts and still help someone develop their inner knowing? (7:40) HOW Juna teaches practitioners to develop their intuition (13:30) How intuitions show up in Kimberly's sessions (15:42) How to tell the difference between an intuitive impulse versus ego or desire or fear (18:30) The phase of life when Juna was doing the exact opposite of her intuition (28:00) Do we REALLLLY choose our parents? (32:15) Why it's necessary to occupy a predator role for women (36:30) The making of a good girl (37:35) Approval and connection versus authenticity (39:00) What happens when anger awakens in the good girl (40:50) Anger as a doorway to power (43:30) Aggression versus anger (47:30) What to do with anger when it arises (49:30) Boundaries with love (53:40) If anger is here, there is trespass happening. Links between anger and boundaries. (1:00:00) www.junamustad.com