Beyond Success

If you’re an achiever, whether you notice it or not, you’re on a dangerous path.  Why?  Well, most achievers fall into something I call the “Achiever’s Trap.” It’s an endless vicious cycle of achieving. Now, that might not sound dangerous at first, but a constant desire for success can only lead to burnout, isolation, depression, and even an early death.  There are other things which, believe it or not, are more important to your long-term happiness and longevity than success alone.  In today’s show, you’ll discover how the Achiever’s Trap mangles your happiness, why it can lead to an early death, and what you should focus on instead of success to live a long, healthy, and fulfilling life.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: The insidious “Achiever’s Trap” which keeps you unfilled and unhappy despite your success (and how to overcome it) (0:49)  This Harvard research study reveals the only way to find lasting happiness (1:34)  Why chasing success leads to burnout, loneliness, and depression (4:29)  The #1 predictor of long-term happiness and a long life (10:52)  How your relentless pursuit of success can sabotage your physical health (13:05)  The simple mindset shift that turns your feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction into fulfillment (27:21)   For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/  Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

After helping hundreds of thousands of people, from 87 different countries, find fulfillment, happiness and meaning in their personal and professional lives, I’ve decided to start a new journey to help you do the same.  Beyond Success is a brand-new show that explores the ideas that lead to lasting happiness and fulfillment—not just short-lived “success.”  If you’ve succeeded on the outside but feel like something deeper is missing, this show will pave the road for your happiness and fulfillment on the inside.  In this introductory episode, I reveal the key concepts and ideas that we’ll discuss on this podcast, explore how to invite more joy into your life, and shatter some of the biggest myths keeping you successful, yet unfulfilled.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: Are you successful on the outside but feel like something deeper is missing? Here’s how to feel fulfilled and successful (1:10)  Why striving for perfection fast tracks you towards failure (and why focusing on this instead unlocks true happiness) (2:32)  Is there a way to enjoy life and achieve your goals with more ease and efficiency? Yes, and here’s how to do it (3:21)  How embracing your emotions (instead of instantly shutting them down) improves your decision-making process (3:49)  The single most dangerous word in the English language for your joy (4:19)  For more about David Tian, go here:  https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:  https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Socially awkward guys don’t get girls, that’s the cold, hard truth. But hiding your social awkwardness and anxiety isn’t the answer either. When you repress, exile, and cut out your social anxiety in order to feel good about yourself, you force it further into your subconscious. And when you cram it into the depths of your brain? It’s still active, and it’s still there sabotaging your success, but now you’re no longer aware of it.  That’s the bad news. The good news? You can leverage your social anxiety and awkwardness to meet and date women in your life. You just need to know how to tap into it. And in today's episode, David reveals a few strange and unique ways to free yourself from crippling shyness. Listen now! Show Highlights Include: The weird way shouting from the peak of a mountain you’re a nerdy comic book fan frees yourself from crippling shyness and debilitating social anxiety (1:55) How following the “normal solution” to inner conflict pollutes your subconscious with negative thoughts that sabotage your ability to have a loving relationship (2:34) Unable to find fulfillment? Here’s how to unlock the subconscious, repressed parts of your brain (and discover how to let go of the things you can’t change) (3:36) The outdated, and backward idea that “ego is the enemy” (and how to never rely on stress, anxiety, pressure, and deadlines in order to get things done ever again) (5:29) How proudly displaying your superiority complex magnetizes unconditional love, approval, and security in your self-worth (17:58) Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now. For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Do you buy into the myth that success alone brings happiness and fulfillment? The techniques 95% of Americans use to strive for success, growth, and personal development guarantees they won’t be fulfilled in the long run. There is a completely different and unique way to approach success. And it’s imperative you discover this way to gain personal happiness, success, and insane amounts of growth in your life. In today’s episode, you’ll discover how to experience success and growth — while also being happy, fulfilled, and not having to wait until you succeed in order to be happy. Listen now! Show Highlights: The polar-opposite method to build a financial empire comparable to Rome (without stress, anxiety, and depression) (1:20) How your parents lied to you about the concept of self-worth (and how this lie keeps you mired in a state of loneliness and poverty) (3:26) The counter-intuitive way dreaming of “sipping pina coladas on the beach” will force you to become a desperate workaholic who never spends time with your kids (11:15) How immersing yourself in “flow capital” will scientifically unlock a never ending state of high happiness (13:28) Why you’ll chain yourself down with concrete in the Hudson River if you wake up with nothing to do on Monday (14:25) Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now. For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

From a young age, attractive women become masters at sniffing out neediness. Most men don’t discover this fact about life until they’ve sabotaged their dating lives and relationships. But here’s the good news: There’s a proven system for overcoming your neediness. It won’t happen overnight, but it will free you from the sadistic grip neediness has over you.  In this episode, you’ll discover the 7 steps to obliterate your neediness for good.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: - How your fear about relationships dupes you into making relationship-ending mistakes (even if you don’t realize it) (2:40)  - The counterintuitive reason becoming wealthy skyrockets your neediness (3:04)  - Why women can see through your inauthentic attempts to get to know their personality like Swiss cheese (4:41)  - The fundamental human needs that help you exterminate your neediness (9:03)  - Why having an agenda of picking up women when you go out subconsciously repels them from you (13:27)  - The 7 experiential steps to meet your own needs and obliterate your neediness (20:30)  Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now. For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

In order to find a loving relationship, you need to become somebody you’re not. You need to rock a new haircut, fill your wardrobe with designer clothes, and hit the gym 24/7. You need to morph into Sean Connery’s James Bond.  Charming, handsome, seductive, and irresistible to modern women. Here’s the thing: If you’re seeking a long-term relationship, this is easily the worst advice you could ever listen to! Now, if you're optimizing your life for a short-term fling, have at it. Be the “player.” But I’m assuming you're reading this because you want a long-term relationship. And if you are, then what you need to do is unburden the already naturally attractive parts in you. In today’s episode, I reveal the 7 steps to unleashing the already naturally attractive parts within you. Listen now! Show Highlights Include: - The “BSYANA” myth that sabotages your chances of finding a loving relationship with the “one” (3:28) - How to unleash the naturally attractive parts of yourself with these 7 steps (9:03) - Why most men fail to be the man that modern women desire most (hint: it’s not being a macho man like Sean Connery’s James Bond) (16:23) - The “LASAE” strategy to be sexually attractive in the eyes of heterosexual women (21:01) - How to form deeper emotional connections with women by teleporting back to your teenage self (23:33) Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now. For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

A lot of guys struggle with dating for a fundamental reason:  They don’t even know themselves well enough to attract a kindred spirit. Relationships and dating become much easier when you have similar interests and values as your partner. This is particularly true at the beginning of the dating process. And it doesn’t rely on you getting lucky on a dating app.  But how do you discover yourself and your true interests? And how does this naturally attract your ideal partner to you?  Well, here’s some good news:  This self-discovery process is fun! And after listening to this episode, you’ll not only know how to take this self-discovery journey in the most effective way, but you’ll also figure out how to “twist” this into attracting your ideal partner.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: How to optimize your lifestyle in a way that naturally brings potential partners into your life who are well suited to you (1:49)   5 simple exercises to figure out your favorite hobbies (even if you’ve never done them before) (5:03)  Why discovering more hobbies can naturally magnetize your ideal partner (7:07)  The “Social Aspects” secret for twisting your favorite hobby into a social activity (7:30)  How to meet suitable romantic partners without wasting time swiping left or right on dating apps (9:14)  How to build a balanced and attractive lifestyle (even if you’re naturally shy) (17:48)  An unusual way to eliminate your neediness by simply having fun (21:43)  Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now. For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Do you ever wish you were more alpha?  It’s a big buzzword thrown around in forums by bitter and resentful men. And if you keep striving to be more alpha, you’ll suffocate your relationships, suppress your emotions, and sabotage your happiness.  Why?  Because the pop culture view of the alpha male couldn’t be further from the truth about how real alphas operate. It’s not about being feared or dominating, it’s about leading with compassion, connection, and empathy.  If you want to be a true alpha and embody real masculinity, you have to stop striving to be an alpha. It’s counterintuitive, but effective.  In today’s show, I debunk the myth of the alpha male, explain how striving to be more alpha leads you down a destructive and isolating path, and reveal how to embody a healthier, truer version of masculinity that leads to lasting happiness and fulfillment—both in your relationships and your life.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: The insidious “Fake Alpha Male” trap men fall into when they frequent forums that leads you down a destructive and isolating path (0:31)  Why true alpha males are actually the most empathetic, most protective of the weak, and the ultimate peace keepers (2:26)  The root causes of wanting to be a toxic alpha male (and how addressing them leads to a happier, more fulfilled life) (6:59)   Why striving to be seen as an alpha male automatically means you’re not (and how to be ok with yourself even when you’re not admired, respected, or feared) (12:51)  How your desperation to be an alpha male suffocates your relationships, suppresses your emotions, and sabotages your happiness (17:44)  The “Aragorn” secret for embodying a healthier and truer version of masculinity (28:12)  Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now. For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Today I’d like you to meet Ryan. Ryan’s a first responder with a strong sense of fairness, and he loves to help people who need it.  Those are both noble qualities, so on the surface it all sounds great. But as Ryan processed the end of a marriage he tried to make sense of why some things bothered him so much, and why certain patterns kept repeating in his life. He turned to me to talk about it, and together we explored how even great qualities can cause problems when they’re driven by unresolved issues lingering beneath the surface. This episode is definitely for you if you get enraged when people offend you, or have trouble setting boundaries. You’ll learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries, and practical questions to ask yourself as you work through situations that make you mad. You’ll also be reminded that you’re probably not broken, you probably don’t need fixing, but you, like everyone else, can still grow, improve, and mature. Remembering this can help you be more empathetic to yourself and others. Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: How to know when the high standards you have for other people are justified and when they aren’t. (8:29) The surprising reality behind that rage you feel and how embracing it can help you handle unprocessed resentment. (10:33) Why an empty chair can help you patch a damaged relationship. (13:03) How to set healthy boundaries so people can’t hijack your emotions and live in your mind rent free. (19:00) The clear difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries. (19:24) The stunning reason society is better when people have the right to be jerks. And the nightmare result if that right is revoked. (21:55) The only question you need to ask to know if your anger is misplaced. (23:29) Why spitting on your father’s grave could improve relationships. (23:43) The counterintuitive way focusing on yourself makes you more empathetic. (27:56) “Savior Cycle”: What it is and how to know when to jump in and help, and when to stand down. (34:16) The Jean-Luc Picard method to process trauma. (35:49) The Quicksand Strategy to love somebody through their problems. (45:17) Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now. For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

Inside Out 2 gives you a brilliant in-depth look into your inner world. Just by watching the movie, you’ll better understand yourself, your emotions, and how to handle emotions better. But if you pair this movie with this podcast episode, you’ll also discover the actionable steps you can take today to balance your emotions, access your higher self, and lead the various parts of you more effectively.  The result?  You’ll become more attractive. You’ll have an easier time dating. You’ll develop healthier and stronger relationships. And you’ll create a better life for yourself all around.  Listen now.  Show Highlights Include: Why watching movies like Inside Out 2 are more effective for mastering your emotions than many books and courses (1:39)  The weird way watching Inside Out 2 can improve your dating life (3:09)   How to get a better understanding of how anxiety interferes with and sabotages your life (3:42)  Why the “Be Yourself” advice shy guys usually hear increases their anxiety (and how to get over this feeling) (5:58)  How to radically improve your self-confidence by using the “From Within” secret (8:30)  How anxiety hijacks your imagination and weaponizes your thoughts against you (and one trick to help ease your anxiety) (10:35) Why cold water and exercise can dramatically decrease your anxiety (12:40)  An in-depth look at how anxiety affects all of your parts from an IFS lens (16:53)  How to apply the lessons embedded in Inside Out 2 to real life (19:13)  Why balancing your emotions instead of suppressing them leads to healthier relationships and better decisions (25:12)  Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now. For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery