Sex and Psychology Podcast

People’s sexual identities and behaviors don’t always line up in the way that you might expect. For example, a lot of people who identify as heterosexual or straight report having had partners of the same sex or gender. And there are a lot of different reasons for this! My guest today has identified at least six different types of people who identify as heterosexual, but engage in same-sex behavior. So, we’re going to break it down for you. I am joined by Dr. Arielle Kuperberg, an Associate Professor of Sociology and Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Arielle recently published a study about heterosexually-identified college students who reported same-sex hookups and we explore her key findings. Among the topics we discuss are: Why sexual identity and sexual behavior don’t always match up. Which heterosexual people who engage in same-sex behavior are likely to change their sexual identity labels in the future. The roles of college culture and alcohol in sexual self-exploration. Why some heterosexual people engage in same-sex behavior for attention or performance. The influence of religion and politics on sexual identity. Why we need to measure more than sexual identity if we really want to understand someone’s sexuality. Check it out! To learn more about Arielle, follow her on Twitter @ATKuperberg and visit her website here. Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 70% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2215-lehmiller The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Many of us feel sexually insecure in some way. For example, you might be concerned about your body shape or size, the appearance of your genitals, and/or your sexual skills or performance. We are often our own harshest critics, and this can be incredibly detrimental to our sex lives. Insecurity can make it difficult to relax during sex, to experience pleasure, and even to experience desire for sex. So how can you overcome sexual insecurity and build up sexual self-confidence? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today. I am joined by Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus, a sociologist, relationship and communication coach, and author of the book From Madness to Mindfulness: Reinventing Sex for Women. Some of the topics we explore include: How you can learn to love your body. How to feel more confident in your genital appearance. How to let go of negative self-talk during sex and be in the moment. Why focusing on orgasm as the goal of sex can reduce pleasure for everyone. How to feel more confident in your sexual turn-ons and share them with a partner. How to communicate your sexual boundaries. What to do when you’re partnered with someone who is sexually insecure. Check it out! Also, be sure to get a copy of Jennifer’s book, From Madness to Mindfulness, and visit her website at drjennsden.com Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow us on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Human beings have been practicing birth control for thousands of years. Today, there are dozens of different contraceptives available, many of which are highly effective and increasingly convenient to access. However, there’s still room for improvement, and the future of birth control promises to be fascinating. It’s becoming increasingly high-tech, and an equivalent of the birth control pill for men appears to be on the horizon. So let’s talk about it! My guest today is Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, a board-certified OB-GYN and author of the book, Let’s Talk About Down There: An OBGYN Answers All Your Burning Questions Without Making You Feel Embarrassed for Asking. Jennifer also runs a popular sex ed channel on TikTok (@drjenniferlincoln) with more than two million followers. In this episode, we discuss the future of birth control, common contraception myths, and how to choose the method that’s right for you. Specifically, we explore: How are the birth control options available to women likely to change in the future, both in terms of methods and accessibility? Why hasn’t there been a lot of research to date in the area of male birth control? What does the future of birth control for men look like? What are the most promising methods in development? Will future birth control methods also offer protection against STIs? How reliable is the pull-out or withdrawal method in preventing pregnancy? Are condoms really 98% effective at pregnancy prevention? Do you have to take birth control pills at the same time every day in order for them to work? Do you need to take occasional breaks from hormonal birth control to let your body “reset?” With all of the options available, how do you choose the contraceptive that’s right for you? Check it out! And in case you missed the first part of my conversation with Jennifer, check out Episode 81, where we explore myths and facts about vaginal health. Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and Reproductive Health Supplies Coalition on Unsplash.

There is a huge industry built around making women feel insecure about their genitals in order to sell them so-called “feminine hygiene products.” They’ve convinced many women that their vaginas and vulvas are “dirty” and in need of constant cleaning. But is it even healthy to use these products? And what do you really need to know when it comes to maintaining vaginal health? I spoke with a gynecologist to find out–and to bust some common myths about vaginas and vulvas. My guest today is Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, a board-certified OB-GYN and author of the book, Let’s Talk About Down There: An OBGYN Answers All Your Burning Questions Without Making You Feel Embarrassed for Asking. Jennifer also runs a popular sex ed channel on TikTok (@drjenniferlincoln) with more than two million followers. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Where does this idea that vaginas and vulvas are “dirty” come from anyway? What should and shouldn’t be part of a vaginal and vulvar self-care routine? What should you do if you’re concerned about the smell or taste of your genitals? What’s the safest way to remove pubic hair to avoid risk of injury and infection? Can a doctor actually tell if a woman has had sex by inspecting her genitals? Do vaginas really become “looser” with frequent sex? Is it really true that if you have an STI, you’ll know it? How do you boost low sexual desire? Check it out! And be sure to check out Jennifer’s book Let’s Talk About Down There and follow her on TikTok. The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 70% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2215-lehmiller This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We’re going back to the brothel in today’s episode! This is the second part of a two-part series of interviews I conducted in a sex club in Amsterdam during a recent study abroad course I taught for sex therapists. We invited several folks who work in the sex industry to come speak with us in small groups, and it was absolutely fascinating! In this episode, you’ll be hearing from a Dutch sex educator (Anna Jansen) who teaches teachers how to talk about sex, as well as a social worker (Renée Brouwer) who works with victims of human trafficking in the sex work industry. Some of the topics we’ll explore include: The distinction between sex work and sex trafficking. Why so much sex work in the Netherlands occurs underground outside of the legal system. How sex trafficking can still occur even with a legalized, government-regulated system. Legal changes that could make sex work safer. What sex education looks like in the Netherlands. How to make sex education work for everyone. Why attitudes toward sex in the Netherlands aren’t as liberal people on the outside think. If you haven’t listened to the first part of this series, check out Episode 79 for interviews with two Dutch sex workers. Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

I taught a study abroad course on sex and culture in Amsterdam a few months ago for a group of sex therapists and, as part of that class, we visited a brothel. To be clear, we didn’t go for sex–we went for sex education! We invited several people who work in the sex industry in some way to come speak with us in small groups. In this episode and the next, I’m going to be sharing some of the fascinating things we learned. In today’s episode, you’ll be hearing two interviews I did with Dutch sex workers. First is Jennifer Jonker, who worked in the brothel we visited for several years. Jennifer now runs a coaching business focused on helping women who want to transition out of the sex work industry to find other forms of employment. Second is Tikka Stardust, a current social worker and sex worker who primarily works with clients who have physical and/or psychological disabilities. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How does sex work actually work in the Netherlands? What does it look like in terms of cost and services provided? How is working in a brothel different from working in the “quick service” area of Amsterdam’s Red Light District? What are the positive and negative sides of sex work in a country where it is legal? To what degree is sex work about sex versus intimacy? What are attitudes toward sex work like in the Netherlands? Is it really as open and accepting as people on the outside think it is? For women who want to exit the sex work industry, what does that process look like? And how do you deal with the stigma associated with sex work? Do government subsidies for sex work really exist in the Netherlands for persons with disabilities? Stay tuned for our return visit to the brothel next week! In the next show, I’ll be speaking with a Dutch sex educator who teaches teachers how to talk about sex, as well as a social worker who works with victims of human trafficking in the sex work industry. Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Sexting has become so common that it’s not a stretch to call it the new “first base” in developing sexual relationships. For many people, sexting is now an integral part of how they connect with others sexually in the modern world, and it occurs in both casual and committed relationships. However, while sexting can be a handy way to boost arousal, communicate interest, and share your fantasies, it can also occur in ways that are coercive or harassing. In this episode, we talk about the good, bad, and ugly of sexting. My guest is Dr. Michelle Drouin, a professor of Psychology at Purdue University—Fort Wayne and a Senior Research Scientist at the Parkview Mirro Center for Research and Innovation. She has published an extensive body of research on the psychology sexting and is author of the book Out of Touch: How to Survive an Intimacy Famine. Some of the topics we explore include: What counts as sexting and how many people have done it before. What people’s experiences with sexting are usually like. The link between sexting and relationship satisfaction. How to practice “safe sexting.” Why so many men send unsolicited dick pics. When sexting becomes a form of coercion or harassment. Deception in online dating. How to spot scam artists like the Tinder Swindler. To learn more about Dr. Drouin, visit drmichelledrouin.com and be sure to check out her latest book, Out of Touch. Also, check out Episode 77 for part one of my conversation with Dr. Drouin, where we discuss tips for online dating and creating love that lasts. Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and Markus Winkler on Unsplash.

Modern technology has made us more connected than ever, but at the same time, many of us feel increasingly disconnected. We just aren’t getting the intimacy we’re craving. We’re starving for a type of intimacy that technology isn’t well-suited to provide. So how can we better meet our need for connection in a digital world? To answer this question, I spoke with Dr. Michelle Drouin, a behavioral scientist and expert on technology, relationships, and sexuality. She is a professor of Psychology at Purdue University—Fort Wayne and a Senior Research Scientist at the Parkview Mirro Center for Research and Innovation. Her latest book is Out of Touch: How to Survive an Intimacy Famine. Some of the topics we explore include: How technology is contributing to an “intimacy famine.” Tips for navigating online dating, including what to do if you aren’t getting any matches and also what to do if you feel overwhelmed by too many options. Whether having more sex can make us happier. Why bedtime routines are crucial to relationship satisfaction. How to cultivate love that lasts. To learn more about Dr. Drouin, visit drmichelledrouin.com and be sure to check out her latest book, Out of Touch. Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Relationships and marriages aren’t just hard–they’re harder than ever because the expectations around them have changed so much. What worked in the past isn’t working anymore, so it’s time for a new approach. We need to figure out what works for us as individuals and create custom relationship agreements that reflect our wants and needs. But what goes into creating an ideal relationship agreement? That’s what we’re going to be discussing today. My guest is Dr. Tammy Nelson, a certified sex and relationship therapist. She is host of The Trouble with Sex podcast and the author of several books, including Open Monogamy: A Guide to Co-Creating Your Ideal Relationship Agreement. Some of the topics we discuss include: Why maintaining long-term monogamy today is more challenging than ever. How to know if an open relationship is right for you. When it’s a good idea to open up, and when it isn’t. Why empathy is key to having healthy relationship communication. How to navigate difficult conversations with a partner, and what to do when you have different wants and needs. The key ingredients of relationship agreements. How often you should revisit your relationship agreement. Common problems that can arise in open relationships, and how to deal with them. To learn more about Dr. Nelson, visit drtammynelson.com and be sure to check out her book, Open Monogamy. Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

More than 60% of American adults say they’ve had sex with a friend in the past year, a number that has increased considerably over the last two decades. Despite the fact that sex between friends is so common, it’s not something people often discuss. Can you go back to being just friends afterwards? And how do you approach sex with a friend without anyone getting hurt? Today’s show is all about making “friends with benefits” work. My guest is Dr. Jesse Owen, a Professor in the Counseling Psychology Department at the University of Denver. He is a licensed psychologist with clinical specializations in couple and family therapy and multicultural therapy. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What does it mean to be “friends with benefits” and what do these relationships tend to look like? Do people of different genders and sexual orientations approach friends with benefits in different ways? What are the main reasons people start having sex with their friends? How long do friends with benefits usually last, and what happens when these relationships end? Can friends with benefits go back to being just friends? Can they also turn into healthy romantic relationships? What questions should you ask yourself before jumping into a friends with benefits arrangement? What kinds of rules or boundaries should you consider if you have a friend with benefits in order to stay safe and prevent things from getting complicated? Learn more about Dr. Owen here. Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 70% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2201-lehmiller-kink  This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.