Sex and Psychology Podcast

As someone who studies the science of sexual fantasies, every time I think I’ve heard it all, I discover something new. Human beings are endlessly inventive and flexible when it comes to their sexuality, which means that our fantasies are sometimes truly fantastical and may reflect things that wouldn’t even be physically possible in reality. While these fantasies may strike many people as “strange” or “weird,” however, a deeper analysis of them reveals that they aren’t so unusual after all. They’re actually just creative variations on the things that turn most of us on. In this episode, we’re going to explore four uncommon sexual fantasies I’ve encountered over the course of my research and consider the psychology behind them. To help me put this show together, I invited Rose Caraway to narrate the actual fantasies that my participants provided. Rose is a writer, editor, and publisher who runs the Kiss Me Quick’s Erotica Podcast. She also served as the narrator for Dr. David Ley’s fantastic book, Insatiable Wives, which was the subject of Episode 70 of this program. The fantasies we dive into in this show come from my book Tell Me What You Want, and they include: The Human Cow (or HuCow) The Human Doll Getting Eaten Alive (Vorarephilia) Taken By Tentacles I walk you through the main themes behind each of these fantasies and the common threads that run through all of them. I also discuss who tends to have more of these fantastical fantasies and why. This is a truly fascinating episode you’re not going to want to miss. Check it out! The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. Thanks to the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When it comes to sex, we could all benefit from a few pointers because great sex is usually something we have to figure out on our own. On previous episodes of the show, we’ve talked about things like expanding your definition of sex, learning how to communicate what you want, and building up your sexual self-confidence. We’re going to take it a step further today and talk about some of the finer details. We’re going to explore how you can get even more pleasure from several specific sexual activities, from masturbation to oral sex to intercourse to kink. I am joined once again by Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and host of the Love and Libido podcast. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How mixing up your masturbation routine can unlock new sources of pleasure and enhance partnered sex. How to have better oral sex. How to make penile-vaginal intercourse more pleasurable and increase the odds of mutual orgasm. How to have comfortable and pleasurable anal sex. How to make role-play fun and enjoyable instead of stressful and awkward. What you need to know about sharing and acting on sexual fantasies. Why it’s important to step out of your comfort zone from time to time. Check it out! To learn more about Emily, visit her website at emilyjamea.com As a special deal for listeners, Emily is offering 50% off her online sex ed workshops (available on her website) with the coupon code: HALFOFF Thanks to The Handy (thehandy.com) and Promescent (promescent.com) for being sponsors of this episode! The Handy, made by Sweet Tech, is an automatic stroker designed for self-pleasure. Pair it with your sleeve of choice to mimic realistic sensations of different partnered activities with precise speed and stroke control. Visit https://link.thehandy.com/sexandpsych-1 to learn more and use my exclusive discount code (sexandpsych) to get 10% off your order. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow us on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the keys to great sex is being in the right headspace and allowing yourself to be totally immersed in the experience. If you’re not fully into it, it’s easy for your mind to start wandering and to get distracted. Divided attention can make it hard to stay aroused and to reach orgasm. So how can you get in the right mental space for great sex? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re going to be discussing a mental state called flow and share practical tips for getting into this state of mind so that you can have the best sex of your life. I am joined by Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and host of the Love and Libido podcast. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: What does it mean to be in a state of “flow?” How is flow similar to or different from practicing mindfulness? How can being in a flow state enhance sexual satisfaction? What is the role of flow in kinky sex? Do some people naturally have an easier time getting into flow states than others? How can you open yourself up to experiencing flow during sex? How can flow boost sexual desire and help people to deal with sexual difficulties? Check it out! To learn more about Emily, visit her website at emilyjamea.com As a special deal for listeners, Emily is offering 50% off her online sex ed workshops (available on her website) with the coupon code: HALFOFF Thanks to The Handy (thehandy.com) and The Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode! The Handy, made by Sweet Tech, is an automatic stroker designed for self-pleasure. Pair it with your sleeve of choice to mimic realistic sensations of different partnered activities with precise speed and stroke control. Visit https://link.thehandy.com/sexandpsych-1 to learn more and use my exclusive discount code (sexandpsych) to get 10% off your order. The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow us on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Relationships are hard for everyone, but they can be especially hard when you’re living with a mental health issue such as depression or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Psychological struggles can heighten the anxiety around sex, dating, and intimacy in ways that can make relationships feel inherently unsatisfying, even hopeless. But there is hope! Today, we’re going to explore how mental health issues can pose unique relationship challenges, but also consider practical tips and tools for overcoming them. I am joined by Allison Raskin, a mental health advocate and New York Times bestselling author. Her latest book is titled: Over-Thinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression. Some of the topics that we explore include: How do you even bring up the subject of mental health with someone you’re dating or in a relationship with? How can you tell whether something you’re worried about is a valid relationship concern vs. a symptom of your disorder? How do you take care of both your mental health and your relationship at the same time when some mental health treatments carry sexual side effects? How can you learn to be “in the moment” during sex and block out distracting thoughts? How can you make online dating less anxiety-inducing? How can you handle breakup in healthier ways? How can you be a supportive partner to someone who has mental health struggles? To learn more about Allison, visit allisonraskin.com. Also, be sure to check out her latest book Over-Thinking About You and follow her on Instagram @emotionalsupportlady Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Until very recently, the sight of a penis in film or on television was a rarity. And when it happened, it was a big deal. The promise of even a fleeting glimpse would overshadow everything else. For example, remember when Gone Girl came out? It seemed like all anyone could talk about was Ben Affleck’s member. Today, however, penises seem to be popping up everywhere, and Hollywood keeps upping the ante. Case in point: there’s a scene in Euphoria featuring nearly 30 dongs. So what’s up with that? What’s behind the rise of male full-frontal nudity on screen? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re also going to discuss why most of the penises you see are actually prosthetics, and you’re going to learn how the sausage gets made. Literally. I am joined by Matthew Mungle, an Academy Award winning artist specializing in Make-up Effects and Prosthetics. With over 250 film and television projects to his credit, Matthew is regarded as one of Hollywood’s top masters of makeup effects illusion. Odds are, you’ve seen his work–and maybe even some of the penises he’s created. Some of the topics we explore include: Why male full-frontal nudity is a growing trend. The first time Matthew was ever approached to make a penile prosthetic. Why most of the penises we see on screen are prosthetics. How producers decide what a prosthetic penis will look like for a given actor/character. How prosthetic penises are made (it’s both an art and a science!). Whether prosthetic penises are contributing to unrealistic perceptions of penis size. Average penis size and whether size really matters anyway. Check it out! To learn more about Matthew’s work, visit his website at wmcreationsinc.com and check out his IMDB page to learn about the many amazing film and TV projects he has contributed to. Thanks to The Handy (thehandy.com) and Promescent (promescent.com) for sponsoring this episode! The Handy, made by Sweet Tech, is an automatic stroker designed for self-pleasure. Pair it with your sleeve of choice to mimic realistic sensations of different partnered activities with precise speed and stroke control. Visit https://link.thehandy.com/sexandpsych-1 to learn more and use my exclusive discount code (sexandpsych) to get 10% off your order. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow us on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Legit Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and Deon Black on Unsplash.

Sexual difficulties are common, and they can be highly distressing. They don’t have to mean the end of your sex life, though. Fortunately, most difficulties can be resolved and you can get back to having satisfying sex. However, people often don’t know where to begin when it comes to dealing with sexual difficulties, from telling a partner about it to finding a solution. So, let’s talk about it! I am joined today by Dr. Natalie Rosen, an Associate Professor in the Departments of Psychology and Neuroscience and Obstetrics & Gynaecology at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Natalie is a sex and relationship therapist who has published over 125 peer-reviewed articles and book chapters on sexual dysfunction. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: How to start healthy and productive conversations about sexual difficulties with a partner. How to manage low sexual desire. How to deal effectively with sexual pain. How to reset your beliefs around sex in a way that can improve sexual function. How to prevent porn from becoming a problem in your relationship. How to better manage emotions in a relationship so that they don’t interfere with sexual satisfaction or contribute to sexual difficulties. Check out Natalie’s previous appearance on the show in Episode 88, where we discuss how to navigate sex during pregnancy and parenthood. To learn more about Natalie or participate in one of her upcoming studies, visit natalieorosen.com. The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Check out their show, “Intimate Forms,” featuring the work of Emilio Sanchez at the Cook Center on Indiana University’s campus. Or catch the show “Psychopathia Sexualis,” featuring the work of Austin Osman Spare at Iceberg Projects in Chicago. Thanks to the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode! This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

During pregnancy and parenthood, it’s not uncommon for sex to decrease and/or become less pleasurable. When this happens, it can potentially spill over and create broader relationship and intimacy issues. So how can you maintain satisfying sex lives and relationships during the transition to parenthood? Let’s talk about it! This episode is all about common sexual questions and concerns that arise during pregnancy and parenthood and how you can keep the spark alive once kids enter the picture. I am joined by Dr. Natalie Rosen, an Associate Professor in the Departments of Psychology and Neuroscience and Obstetrics & Gynaecology at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Natalie is a sex and relationship therapist who has published over 125 peer-reviewed articles and book chapters on sexual dysfunction. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include: Is it usually safe to have sex during pregnancy? What do you need to know when it comes to maintaining sexual satisfaction during pregnancy? When can you start having sex again after giving birth? And what do you need to know about sexual health and function in the postpartum period? How can new parents navigate discrepancies in sexual desire? How are men and women similar vs. different in terms of the sexual concerns they have during parenthood? How do you make space (and time) for sex once you have kids? When is it time to consult a sex or relationship therapist, and how do you find a competent professional? To learn more about Natalie or participate in one of her upcoming studies, visit natalieorosen.com. And for more resources and information on navigating sex and parenthood, visit postbabyhankypanky.com  Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 70% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2215-lehmiller The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Relationships can be a source of tremendous joy. But they can also be a source of tremendous pain, especially when they come to an end that we just weren’t ready for. When a valued relationship suddenly ends and that parter disappears from your everyday life–whether through death, divorce, or breakup–the resulting grief can make it difficult to move on, especially in terms of your intimate life. When is the right time to start dating or having sex again? What if you haven’t been on the dating scene for years and it has fundamentally changed? Also, what if you’re dating someone who is grieving a relationship loss? Let’s talk about it. I am joined by Joan Price, a self-described advocate for ageless sexuality. Joan is the author of four books, including Sex After Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved. Joan was the guest on my previous episode, where we covered Tips For Better Sex at Any Age. It’s well worth a listen if you haven’t checked it out already! Some of the topics we explore in this show include: Why there isn’t one “right” way to grieve and how everyone’s post-grief intimacy journey is different. How to know when it’s the right time to re-engage with your sexuality. How to get back on the dating scene if you haven’t been on it for a long time. What to do when you find your “pilot light lover,” or the next person who re-sparks your arousal. Why self-discovery and self-exploration are essential in the healing process. Things you should and shouldn’t do when dating someone who is grieving a relationship loss. To learn more about Joan, visit joanprice.com and be sure to check out all of her amazing books, including Sex After Grief. Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow us on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Legit Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

When people think about what their sex lives will look like as they get older, they usually don’t see much to look forward to. They tend to think about problems that might arise and how sex may become more challenging. However, this line of thinking is all wrong. Sex can actually get better with age. In fact, many seniors report that they’re having the best sex of their lives! And many of the tools and strategies that they’re using can be helpful at any age for reigniting passion, improving sexual communication, and having more pleasurable sex than ever before. So today we’re going to be exploring tips for better sex no matter where you are in your life. My guest is Joan Price, a self-described advocate for ageless sexuality. Joan is the author of four books about senior sex, including the award-winning  Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. She is a popular public speaker and sex educator who has been expanding our minds about sex and aging since 2005. Some of the topics we explore in this show include: How (and why) sex can get better with age. How to start healthy conversations about sex, whether you’re in a new or long-term relationship. How to talk about sex with your doctor or healthcare provider. How redefining sex can open the door to more pleasure. What to do when the old ways of approaching sex just aren’t working for you anymore. Why sex toys are an essential component of satisfying sex, especially as we get older. How you can set yourself up for having great sex for your entire life. Check it out! To learn more about Joan, visit joanprice.com and be sure to check out all of her amazing books, including Naked at Our Age. Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 70% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2215-lehmiller The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

For decades, social scientists warned that living together before marriage increased the odds of later divorce. However, this runs contrary to conventional wisdom. In fact, most American adults today think that cohabiting first should actually strengthen marriages by serving as a compatibility test. So what’s the deal? Is living together before marriage a good or bad idea? Let’s explore what the science really says and discuss practical tips and considerations for partners looking to move in together. I am joined by Dr. Arielle Kuperberg, an Associate Professor of Sociology and Women’s, Gender and Sexuality Studies at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Arielle has studied cohabitation and its effects extensively and is here to help us settle the popular debate. Some of the topics we explore include: How many people today live together before marriage, and how this trend has changed over time. Why cohabitation and divorce are linked, and how the association between them has changed. Why the age at which you get married is a key factor in predicting divorce. How people who cohabit before marriage differ from those who move directly into marriage. How to know when it’s the right time to move in together. How to set yourself up for cohabiting success. Check it out! To learn more about Arielle, follow her on Twitter @ATKuperberg and visit her website here. Get confidence where it counts with BlueChew! Their online service delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis in chewable tablets at a fraction of the cost. Listeners can try BlueChew FREE by using promo code PSYCH at checkout; just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://bluechew.com to learn more. This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow us on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and HiveBoxx on Unsplash.