Something Positive for Positive People

Technology has a life cycle and the ol' iPhone 7+ Google Chromebook combo I've used for the last three years are no more. We took in listener questions including how I contracted herpes, managing herpes outbreaks, pushing away love, and feeling sexy after a herpes diagnosis. Until I get this new process down, I'll do solo episodes with questions. This is a solo show, I talk about my dad and therapy. If you have questions you'd like answered on the podcast over the course of the next few episodes don't hesitate to send them in via messages on social media or email me through www.spfpp.org. My email is courtney@spfpp.org if that's easiest.

Brenda Emily (@BrendaEmily on Instagram) is an HIV survivor who did not contract it sexually as one may assume. We discuss some of her experiences with hookups and rejection as someone navigating the dating world with HIV and cerebral palsy. We touch on HIV criminalization laws, despite the U equals U campaign, being more strict than the criminalization of rape. There's some overlap in herpes and HIV stigma that we address. Overall, we can let others mistake our being empowered for intimidating. Those drawn to us will affirm our being empowered whereas those who find us intimidating well, are just intimidated.

I get excited when I connect with people I see myself in. Prince joins us to talk about his experience battling suicide ideation after his herpes diagnosis. As a member of the polyamorous community, we get his backstory about opening that conversation up with his partner who when he did, she expressed that she didn't think she was monogomous. We talk about some of the stigma prevalence of HSV in the polyamorous community and how a partner may manipulate us by using our status to control us. One major takeaway is that no relationship style is better or worse than another, there's only honest relationships and dishonest ones. Hearing from a man in the polyamorous community living with herpes shows us that our diagnosis just isn't the end for us. Prince runs the Anonymous H Medium blog journal of a kinky, highly sex positive, and polyamorous Black man navigating life with herpes, the House of Royals website and the group COVET. Connect with Prince: Anonymous H Medium - https://medium.com/@anon.hsv2 https://nyumbayaroyals.com/?fbclid=IwAR18ALIh9eJ-cL1ul1cp5lfGes4lgYLin4fwY0wpV_lGz8CmHq6Vl6T-ga0 COVET - https://doyoucovet.com/?fbclid=IwAR31lCtGynYOMzpjsqRqNtk9a7OxkvmFDqCIPBTFi2wLKz3MGKV5s1BhI7M

White people are currently asking the question "What can I do?". In reference to people with conditions, we use people first language, so applying that here, you are a person with whiteness. Don't Question your humanity, your natural instinct to see the human in another human. Question your perpetual use of your whiteness. YOU have to look at HOW and WHERE it is being put to use. When you ask, "what can I do?", that shouldn't even be a question a human has to ask about injustices done to other humans. There shouldn't be questioning at all, only reflection on the use of your inherited whiteness in a time where those without whiteness are suffering because of it.

You know what you are if you have an STI? NORMAL! Something Positive for Positive People is joined by Fred Wyand, Director of Communications at the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA). We focus the conversation on herpes and the work ASHA does to provide resources to people diagnosed with herpes simplex virus. ASHA also provides tools and resources to empower health care providers to talk about herpes in addition to other STIs. With so much misinformation fueling stigma, it's important we get on the same page from discussion to diagnosis to disclosure. For herpes info: http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/stdsstis/herpes/ For Providers: http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/healthcare-providers/

People are able to use the most shameful part of themselves as a source of their power. Shoshanna challenges us to look beyond our herpes diagnosis at what obstacles are in front of us to free ourselves from the shackles of shame. Shoshanna Raven is an empowerment coach on a mission to break down shame and fear culture so that we can end the loneliness epidemic and clear the clutter preventing us from taking courageous leaps of faith. Her podcast, 'Living Brave', retreats and signature programs were created to help to end stigma and reclaim the power it takes from us. Shoshanna speaks openly about her herpes status and encourages others to use their vulnerability as a superpower. Connect with Shoshanna: Instagram - @shoshanna_raven Email: shoshannaraven@gmail.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/groups/livingbravecommunity/ www.facebook.com/hello.shoshanna.raven

Two years in the making, we finally get blessed with the presence of Laureen HD! Her YouTube channel was one of the first resources I found after my herpes diagnosis. After reaching out, she was mid-move out of the country so there was a slight delay. I just hit record because I knew if I didn't, I'd have regretted missing out on all that awesomeness we had in here about silence and our discomfort with it as a society. Laureen and I exchange dating stories around the idea that it's easy to assume that because we do this work, that potential partners already know we have herpes and they've done their research on us prior to leading us on. We discuss rejection and the alternatives to a person turning us down when we think it's for our herpes diagnosis. Turns out, it could be a number of reasons and we discuss some examples and get into the fact that people just have preferences.. We talk about why Laureen decided to begin her channel and decide to be open about her diagnosis and her initial non-disclosure that encouraged her to do so. We also get into how Laureen stays consistent having run her channel for 4 years now and then we talk about some feedback she's gotten being open. Some major takeaways are that when it comes to publicly disclosing, we may seek a sense of liberation, but that comes from feeling empowered to inform ourselves in the first place. Prior to making the decision, it's important to assess your surroundings and decide if that's something for you. Consent and disclosure going hand in hand, all sex educators aren't freaks and last but not least, obsession with truth as a motivator for consistency. You can connect with Laureen by visiting her YouTube Channel: Laureen HD - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2vsS87934_IfCbRThqL7sA Instagram: @LaureenHD Save 20% off your first at home STI test kit from LetsGetChecked when you visit www.TryLgc.com/spfpp and please don't forget that spfpp there. Get 10% off your first month of counseling/therapy at www.betterhelp.com/spfpp

If you're on the fence about publicly disclosing your herpes status online take a listen to this one. Our guest shares her own experiences with not needing to for that sense of liberation people assume comes with it. It's often assumed there will be a sense of rejection by default. When we disclose, there's three potential responses; me too, no thanks, or tell me how we can be safe moving forward.

There's power in having a great support system. If that isn't available to you then self-reflection via journaling. Our guest shares her decision to open up about her own diagnosis publicly. A herpes diagnosis carries an energetic weight that often gets heavier the longer we're unaware of it. How we choose to address it often is contingent on how the first person receives our disclosure. It takes a strong person to move that weight. If you're breathing, you can handle it, just like our guest.

Quick reminder that this podcast serves as primarily an experience based hub of resources supporting those navigating stigma. Our guest is a New York based health care worker who is positive for HSV and yesterday tested positive for COVID-19. We discuss precautions taken in the healthcare field, the responses to her COVID diagnosis and similarities to her herpes diagnosis. We will revisit our guest once she's back at work with your questions for her. Please email questions for her to answer or have answered by a credible source in relation to HSV and COVID-19 by emailing me at Courtney@spfpp.org and we will have answers for you on part 2.