SPFPP Episode 149: Sour Patch F Boys

After ending her divorce from her first everything, our guest this week shares her experience entering the dating world after having done everything 'right' and then ending up with someone who did not disclose their HSV status to her. As we talk through her experience, you get a sense that he knew he had it and the point of realization was where she just got an intuitive nudge to open a drawer where his acyclovir prescribed to him with a date of six months prior resided. When she confronted him, he responded in a very dismissively honest way that is very scary and manipulative. I want to make sure I'm using this term here properly so correct me if I'm wrong when you listen, but gaslighting. So here we have someone who married her first, divorced and entered the dating world again, only to now be stigmatized because of her diagnosis of HSV. She had sex with two people. The stigma is not reality. According to the stigma of HSV, she had sex with many people and should've waited until marriage to have intercourse. She still got it. Where's the stigma and shaming toward people who know they have it but choose not to disclose? Where's the stigma toward medical professionals who spread inaccurate information and negate STD prevention efforts with their own self-shaming and stigma? Last thing to touch on here is the connection between sexual health and mental health. This episode says more about the person who exposed our guest to the virus than it does about her. Men's unwillingness to deal with their diagnosis in a healthy way is part of what keeps the stigma so prevalent. Women are susceptible to shame as a result of our actions whereas men can go into denial or repress the emotions altogether and act like they aren't impacted at all as you'll hear in this episode.