Something Positive for Positive People

This was quite a conversational car ride with my friend/board member, Dr. Amber Sophus. We were talking about how people with different income levels process their herpes diagnosis differently and access and willingness to seek out resources for support looks different for these groups as well. The conversation led into some discussions about how people (mainly women) talk to themselves, how I need to stop calling myself homeless, and a few other identity components that open up the runway for future discussions on stigma. Dr. Sophus works in public health so naturally we spoke more about STIs, sexual health, and behaviors around people knowing that HIV is more manageable, and we have pre-exposure meds that treat Chlamydia chlamydia and gonorrhea, and their risk tolerances.I've been a little ungrounded lately just due to life events. I'm getting back into my rhythm of consistently recording podcast episodes so thank you for your patience with me as I shake off the cobwebs from these past two weeks.I mention our webinar tonight on disclosure which can currently be found at www.spfpp.org/events (you have to register) but it'll be over after 7pm central time and you'll have to reach out to me for the recording access, but there's time if you're reading/listening to this on May 23rd before then.Enjoy this conversation.

What does it mean to live in alignment—with your identity, your energy, and your story? In this soulful episode of Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame is joined by astrologer Tasha Beg (aka Agent of Pluto) for a powerful conversation about identity, ego death, and the journey from shame to self-trust. Together, they explore the intersections of presence, stigma, astrology, and atomic awareness—unpacking what happens when we stop performing and start just being.Connect with Tasha at www.agentofpluto.comIG: @agent.of.plutoIG: @thepopastrologist

In this defining solo episode, Courtney Brame shares the atomic model that’s become the foundation of his purpose, presence, and practice. Drawing from physics, yoga philosophy, and personal experience with stigma, he reveals a spiritual framework where the atom becomes a mirror for conscious living.As the neutron, Courtney stabilizes his proton—his purpose to inspire conscious choice through stigma—and orbits aligned actions across shells that reflect rhythm, emotional truth, and freedom.This is more than a metaphor. It's a spiritual technology. A path. A way back home.If you've ever felt lost in your identity, your diagnosis, or your desires… this episode offers a structure for re-entry.Topics covered include:What it means to “live like an atom”The roles of protons, neutrons, and electrons in life alignmentHow stigma and shame disconnect us from our nucleusResonance vs. driftingApplying the Yamas and Niyamas to stabilize purposeWhy Courtney’s presence got him kicked off Positive SinglesThis episode is a transmission, not a performance. Listen to remember what you already know.

This episode marks the end of an era. Since 2017, the SPFPP podcast has held space for people navigating herpes stigma—but now, it’s time for a shift. I’m closing out Season 1 with some real talk about why I’m expanding the mission. It’s bigger than herpes. Season 2 will center more broadly around positivity—mental health, emotional healing, identity, and minimizing stigma across the board.I share where I’ve been emotionally, what’s brought me here, and what I’ve learned about myself, relationships, and the weight of stigma—beyond just a herpes diagnosis. There’s grief, there’s liberation, and there’s clarity.If you’ve been here since the early days, thank you. If you’re just finding this—welcome. Season 1 will live on as a resource. Season 2 is something that maintains the integrity of season 1 minus the herpes exclusivity, Something Positive for Positive People.

In this raw and introspective solo episode, Courtney shares a deeply personal reflection on grief, growth, and the identity he's releasing after the end of a relationship. Titled The Eulogy of the Ego, this episode explores the integration of his inner child, the pursuit of emotional freedom, and the letting go of expectations—both from others and of himself. He speaks candidly about the emotional toll of societal conditioning, navigating heartbreak as a man, and the space between vulnerability and transformation.⚠️ Note: There is a period of silence between the 1:05:57 and 1:06:58 marks due to a mic issue. Please feel free to skip this portion while listening.

This episode features a real, open convo with Tamar Weir—someone I connected with through her honesty about living with herpes and navigating non-monogamy. Tamar shares her story of being diagnosed with HSV-2 in college, the support she had early on, and what it’s been like moving through the world with both herpes and a relationship style that challenges the norm.We talk about disclosure fatigue, especially when you’re non-monogamous and have to keep having the STI conversation over and over. Tamar shares how she’s shifted from educating people out of insecurity to setting more intentional boundaries—and what it means to not just disclose, but to decide when and how it’s worth it.We also get into how different the stigma around herpes feels outside the U.S., the emotional labor of being “the one who always starts the hard conversations,” and how she’s found strength through softness. If you’ve ever felt like dating requires too much emotional detachment, or if you’re navigating how to talk about herpes in sex-positive spaces, this one will land.Tamar runs a blog called Everything Juicy and an Instagram page called Pomegranate Pleasure (@pomegranatepleasure on Instagram) where she explores sexuality, taboo, and the sensual side of being human. You’ll hear how both herpes and non-monogamy have been portals for her into deeper self-awareness, body wisdom, and connection with others.General Notes: Disclosure Fatigue + Non-Monogamy – The energy drain of having to educate new partners while also managing the burden of stigma.Support Matters – Tamar’s initial support system helped her form a healthy relationship with her diagnosis.Stigma Feels Cultural – Her experiences outside the U.S. reinforce how much of herpes stigma is socially constructed here in the States.Shifting from Educating to Boundary-Setting – She shares how disclosure shifted from proving worth to honoring capacity.Navigating Sex-Positive Spaces – We talk about navigating play parties and kink spaces with an STI and the mixed reactions someone can face.Reframing the Body’s Wisdom – Her outbreaks became cues for rest and self-reflection, not shame.

I recorded this episode on the 12-year anniversary of my herpes diagnosis. In it, I talk openly about the grief I've been processing following a recent breakup, and how anger—something I’ve long masked with niceness—has been quietly shaping my relationships, my work, and my sense of self. I explore how my childhood experiences, emotional suppression, and fear of being perceived as violent have all played a role in keeping me from fully expressing what I need. This is about reclaiming my anger—not as something destructive, but as a compass that points to my unmet needs, boundaries, and desires. It’s also about integrating the split versions of myself I’ve been moving through: the safe, stoic me and the playful, impulsive one. This episode is as much a check-in with y’all as it is with myself.

This episode is an unfiltered look at what happens when you hit a wall. I’ve been grieving, burned out, and realizing just how much I’ve neglected my own needs. In this solo episode, I share my journey of recognizing burnout, learning to set boundaries, and making the decision to take a step back to refocus on what really matters.I talk about canceling an event due to low turnout, how that decision made me reassess my priorities, and the importance of environment in healing. I also reflect on lessons from my Yoga Therapy training and personal experiences that are helping me navigate grief in a healthier way.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, drained, or like you’re constantly running on empty, this episode is for you. Sometimes, the best way to move forward is to pause and allow yourself to recalibrate.

Courtney Brame returns to the SPFPP podcast with an exciting update—his first-ever in-person clinician training simulation focused on minimizing herpes stigma in medical settings. He shares behind-the-scenes insights on the simulation’s impact, lessons learned, and his vision for expanding this initiative nationwide. This episode also explores themes of self-expression, boundary-setting, and the importance of building stigma-free communities. Tune in for an honest reflection on personal and professional growth, upcoming events, and how you can support the movement for better herpes education.Visit spfpp.org/training for more information!

In this episode of Something Positive for Positive People, I sit down with Holly Estrada, a sex worker and advocate for destigmatization, to explore her journey through relationships and personal growth. Holly shares how she transitioned from polyamory to emotional monogamy, tackled the stigma surrounding herpes in the sex work industry, and learned to embrace true vulnerability in her life. We dive deep into what it means to create supportive relationships, navigate autonomy and boundaries, and grow from past experiences. Whether you're curious about non-monogamy, emotional availability, or the intersection of sex work and intimacy, this conversation offers powerful insights and relatable stories. Quotes: QuotesOn Vulnerability and Emotional Availability "I’m very scared of actual vulnerability and showing people what really affects me. So, I pick things that affect other people and mask them as vulnerability." – Holly Estrada "I used herpes as an example of vulnerability because it’s what people see as a vulnerable thing, but the things I don’t talk about are where I’m really vulnerable." – Courtney Brame "True vulnerability comes from asking for what I need and verbalizing my feelings, not just performing openness." – Courtney Brame "Non-monogamy taught me communication and autonomy, but transitioning to emotional monogamy has given me a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment." – Holly Estrada "In non-monogamy, I felt like I was holding onto multiple relationships by a thread, never fully present. But investing in one has made everything—especially the sex—better." – Courtney Brame "You have to take the best of both monogamy and non-monogamy to co-create a relationship that aligns with your values." – Holly Estrada "One of my boundaries was having full autonomy over my work and time. If someone can’t respect that, it’s not a relationship I can stay in." – Holly Estrada "Being in a controlling relationship taught me that when someone resists your boundaries, they’re showing you they don’t respect your autonomy." – Holly Estrada "Abusers often steer you away from people who would call them out or show you that their behavior isn’t okay. Maintaining a support system is vital." – Holly Estrada "In the sex work industry, herpes isn’t stigmatized the same way. It’s seen as something that either you have or you might get—there’s no shame attached." – Holly Estrada "Most people in the industry assume everyone has herpes and is managing it with antivirals, so it’s not treated as a big deal." – Holly Estrada The difference between performative vulnerability and authentic emotional availability. How romantic relationships can challenge us to grow emotionally by forcing us to confront our real needs and fears. The role of self-awareness in creating deeper connections and understanding patterns from past relationships. Holly’s transition from polyamory to emotional monogamy and how it reshaped her perspective on fulfillment and intimacy. The pros and cons of both relationship structures and how they can teach communication, trust, and autonomy. Courtney’s reflections on how non-monogamy helped him identify and choose what truly matters in a relationship. The importance of setting clear boundaries and recognizing when they aren’t respected. How abusers manipulate control by isolating their partners from supportive communities. Steps to leave a controlling or abusive relationship and how friends and support systems can help. The normalization of herpes in the sex work industry and how that mindset reduces stigma. Why open conversations about testing and disclosure are key to reducing fear around herpes. The lack of testing for herpes in standard STI panels and what that means for awareness. How past relationships (including marriage or polyamory) can shape your understanding of what you need and want. The significance of integrating lessons from different relationship styles into your current dynamics.