Something Positive for Positive People

This episode features a real, open convo with Tamar Weir—someone I connected with through her honesty about living with herpes and navigating non-monogamy. Tamar shares her story of being diagnosed with HSV-2 in college, the support she had early on, and what it’s been like moving through the world with both herpes and a relationship style that challenges the norm.We talk about disclosure fatigue, especially when you’re non-monogamous and have to keep having the STI conversation over and over. Tamar shares how she’s shifted from educating people out of insecurity to setting more intentional boundaries—and what it means to not just disclose, but to decide when and how it’s worth it.We also get into how different the stigma around herpes feels outside the U.S., the emotional labor of being “the one who always starts the hard conversations,” and how she’s found strength through softness. If you’ve ever felt like dating requires too much emotional detachment, or if you’re navigating how to talk about herpes in sex-positive spaces, this one will land.Tamar runs a blog called Everything Juicy and an Instagram page called Pomegranate Pleasure (@pomegranatepleasure on Instagram) where she explores sexuality, taboo, and the sensual side of being human. You’ll hear how both herpes and non-monogamy have been portals for her into deeper self-awareness, body wisdom, and connection with others.General Notes: Disclosure Fatigue + Non-Monogamy – The energy drain of having to educate new partners while also managing the burden of stigma.Support Matters – Tamar’s initial support system helped her form a healthy relationship with her diagnosis.Stigma Feels Cultural – Her experiences outside the U.S. reinforce how much of herpes stigma is socially constructed here in the States.Shifting from Educating to Boundary-Setting – She shares how disclosure shifted from proving worth to honoring capacity.Navigating Sex-Positive Spaces – We talk about navigating play parties and kink spaces with an STI and the mixed reactions someone can face.Reframing the Body’s Wisdom – Her outbreaks became cues for rest and self-reflection, not shame.

I recorded this episode on the 12-year anniversary of my herpes diagnosis. In it, I talk openly about the grief I've been processing following a recent breakup, and how anger—something I’ve long masked with niceness—has been quietly shaping my relationships, my work, and my sense of self. I explore how my childhood experiences, emotional suppression, and fear of being perceived as violent have all played a role in keeping me from fully expressing what I need. This is about reclaiming my anger—not as something destructive, but as a compass that points to my unmet needs, boundaries, and desires. It’s also about integrating the split versions of myself I’ve been moving through: the safe, stoic me and the playful, impulsive one. This episode is as much a check-in with y’all as it is with myself.

This episode is an unfiltered look at what happens when you hit a wall. I’ve been grieving, burned out, and realizing just how much I’ve neglected my own needs. In this solo episode, I share my journey of recognizing burnout, learning to set boundaries, and making the decision to take a step back to refocus on what really matters.I talk about canceling an event due to low turnout, how that decision made me reassess my priorities, and the importance of environment in healing. I also reflect on lessons from my Yoga Therapy training and personal experiences that are helping me navigate grief in a healthier way.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, drained, or like you’re constantly running on empty, this episode is for you. Sometimes, the best way to move forward is to pause and allow yourself to recalibrate.

Courtney Brame returns to the SPFPP podcast with an exciting update—his first-ever in-person clinician training simulation focused on minimizing herpes stigma in medical settings. He shares behind-the-scenes insights on the simulation’s impact, lessons learned, and his vision for expanding this initiative nationwide. This episode also explores themes of self-expression, boundary-setting, and the importance of building stigma-free communities. Tune in for an honest reflection on personal and professional growth, upcoming events, and how you can support the movement for better herpes education.Visit spfpp.org/training for more information!

In this episode of Something Positive for Positive People, I sit down with Holly Estrada, a sex worker and advocate for destigmatization, to explore her journey through relationships and personal growth. Holly shares how she transitioned from polyamory to emotional monogamy, tackled the stigma surrounding herpes in the sex work industry, and learned to embrace true vulnerability in her life. We dive deep into what it means to create supportive relationships, navigate autonomy and boundaries, and grow from past experiences. Whether you're curious about non-monogamy, emotional availability, or the intersection of sex work and intimacy, this conversation offers powerful insights and relatable stories. Quotes: QuotesOn Vulnerability and Emotional Availability "I’m very scared of actual vulnerability and showing people what really affects me. So, I pick things that affect other people and mask them as vulnerability." – Holly Estrada "I used herpes as an example of vulnerability because it’s what people see as a vulnerable thing, but the things I don’t talk about are where I’m really vulnerable." – Courtney Brame "True vulnerability comes from asking for what I need and verbalizing my feelings, not just performing openness." – Courtney Brame "Non-monogamy taught me communication and autonomy, but transitioning to emotional monogamy has given me a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment." – Holly Estrada "In non-monogamy, I felt like I was holding onto multiple relationships by a thread, never fully present. But investing in one has made everything—especially the sex—better." – Courtney Brame "You have to take the best of both monogamy and non-monogamy to co-create a relationship that aligns with your values." – Holly Estrada "One of my boundaries was having full autonomy over my work and time. If someone can’t respect that, it’s not a relationship I can stay in." – Holly Estrada "Being in a controlling relationship taught me that when someone resists your boundaries, they’re showing you they don’t respect your autonomy." – Holly Estrada "Abusers often steer you away from people who would call them out or show you that their behavior isn’t okay. Maintaining a support system is vital." – Holly Estrada "In the sex work industry, herpes isn’t stigmatized the same way. It’s seen as something that either you have or you might get—there’s no shame attached." – Holly Estrada "Most people in the industry assume everyone has herpes and is managing it with antivirals, so it’s not treated as a big deal." – Holly Estrada The difference between performative vulnerability and authentic emotional availability. How romantic relationships can challenge us to grow emotionally by forcing us to confront our real needs and fears. The role of self-awareness in creating deeper connections and understanding patterns from past relationships. Holly’s transition from polyamory to emotional monogamy and how it reshaped her perspective on fulfillment and intimacy. The pros and cons of both relationship structures and how they can teach communication, trust, and autonomy. Courtney’s reflections on how non-monogamy helped him identify and choose what truly matters in a relationship. The importance of setting clear boundaries and recognizing when they aren’t respected. How abusers manipulate control by isolating their partners from supportive communities. Steps to leave a controlling or abusive relationship and how friends and support systems can help. The normalization of herpes in the sex work industry and how that mindset reduces stigma. Why open conversations about testing and disclosure are key to reducing fear around herpes. The lack of testing for herpes in standard STI panels and what that means for awareness. How past relationships (including marriage or polyamory) can shape your understanding of what you need and want. The significance of integrating lessons from different relationship styles into your current dynamics.

In this episode of Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame speaks with Melissa, a Yoga Therapy client, about her journey of emotional and spiritual healing after a herpes diagnosis. Melissa shares how the therapeutic practices of journaling, breathwork, and the Koshas helped her process shame and find peace. Tune in to learn how Yoga Therapy can transform your approach to healing.

In this episode of Something Positive for Positive People, also known as the herpes podcast, I cut through the noise surrounding herpes transmission rates, particularly female-to-male rates, and get real about what those numbers actually mean to us. Drawing from my experience hosting over 350 in-depth podcast interviews, I share why the stats often miss the bigger picture and why focusing on numbers alone doesn’t help when it comes to navigating relationships with herpes. Let’s talk about communication, setting realistic expectations, and finding support. If you’ve ever Googled transmission rates looking for clarity, this one’s for you.

Alright y’all, this episode marks a bit of a shift for SPFPP. For years, we’ve focused on dating with herpes—what it looks like, how to navigate it—but today, we’re stepping into something new: the other side of dating, being in a relationship. As someone who’s been talking about dating with herpes since 2017, it feels only natural for the podcast to evolve with where I’m at in my own life. Truth is, herpes isn’t a big deal to me anymore, especially now that I’m in a relationship. So it’s time for me to start talking about what this next chapter looks like. This episode is all about being vulnerable, and y’all, I’ve been feeling the pull to share more of myself—my experiences, my challenges, and my growth. If you listened to Episode 259 where I talked about my grandmother, you know what I mean. I’m finishing Yoga Therapy school, moving in with my girlfriend, planning for a family, and just really leaning into what matters to me now. I want to know where you’re at, too. Have your values changed? Are you looking for something different from SPFPP? Let me know! Let’s build this next phase of SPFPP together.

Heads up I talk about abortion from the lens of being a Man. This was supposed to be a 15 minute update, but the way grief works having come up on the anniversary of my grandma's funeral which happens to be my birthday, aside from me apologizing for my inconsistency the last month or two, apparently all this needed to come out as well. Full blog post: https://spfpp.org/podcast/spfpp-359-23-years-of-grief

In episode 358, The Power of Disclosing to a Friend, we dive into the evolving mission of Something Positive for Positive People—supporting people with herpes to a place of openness where they can share their status with someone close to them. Courtney unpacks common fears around judgment and stigma and highlights the validation and relief that come from trusted connections. Through personal stories and actionable insights, we discuss how vulnerability in sharing our diagnosis can lead to stronger mental well-being and diminish the isolating effects of stigma. Tune in to explore pathways toward openness, healing, and community support. The Nov. 17 event for Men: https://getselfed.org/events See upcoming events by visiting www.spfpp.org/events For Yoga Therapy - www.spfpp.org/yoga-therapy For 1-1 Support - www.spfpp.org/herpes-support-call