Something Positive for Positive People

I almost skipped this week because I didn't have much to say, and then I recorded a 53 minute podcast episode that brought the previous one full circle. My week off of social media, recommended by one of my board members was a great call. It allowed me to charge my batteries. After learning recently about boundaries, I see how boundariliessness has been really draining for me and I didn't know how drained I was until I began implementing boundaries. We take a couple of write in stories of the worst experiences two people who attended the "Something Negative for Positive People" fundraiser and use these as examples of where boundaries can be set in relatable situations for whoever comes across this podcast. I've been able to work much more effectively and give people more of myself since discovering the freedom to connect in having boundaries and I hope that by sharing that here, you're able to begin doing this for yourself. Thank you for taking the time!

The black indifference on my social media feed is disgusting and I'm calling out status quo perpetuation from those who hide behind mutuality. The things I tilt my head at that have a hint of racism in them, I'm sharing them publicly if able and calling these people into this space because I'm tired of it. What is self-apathy, boundariness, and what does herpes have to do with these things besides highlighting them for us? 5 people are enrolled in 12 therapy sessions with our Partner therapist. I discuss my fear of success and how protecting my feelings from the world is sabotaging my attempts at connection. "Do you have feelings for me?", I was asked by my friend I do sex with, and I told her I don't. Having blown my mind with the question and the thought, I explored this a lot and it centers around my emotional unavailability. We go way back here to the last time I expressed feelings for someone and how it hurt me. What does what we want in a relationship and passion look like? If you wanna be swept off your feet, what's the gift that person had better come bearing with your name on it? Lastly, how does herpes highlight YOUR lower case self?

Internalized herpes stigma looks like self shaming ourselves and masking it with external behaviors like disclosing our positive HSV status to someone low risk. By low risk, I simply mean their acceptance or approval of us carries little to no value. However, we're either looking to have our beliefs challenged or validated by their response. This episode will challenge that in you. Check it out!

I was joined by Clarice Connolly who's been a guest on the podcast a couple of other times to speak to a small group of people living with herpes at one of the annual weekend long get togethers. This exercise was called Something Negative for Positive People where we took one of our most negative experiences since our herpes diagnosis and anonymously shared them by reading it off after having written it down. The audience provides input from their similar experiences or their own learned lessons. This was useful to everyone and encouraged sharing from people who otherwise may never have spoken any of this aloud. It was a healing experience and we still have some experiences that didn't make this setting so I'll share those on upcoming episodes of the podcast. Please enjoy and if you're looking to get involved with the social support groups, just hit me up and I'll do my best to connect you to them. They are private or secret and usually on Facebook.

We answer some listener questions about men and HSV. Some men wrote in and asked some questions and I answer those as well. We discuss masculinity and how we deal with a herpes diagnosis differently that those in touch with their femininity, disclosure leading to 'me too', who has more outbreaks between penis and vulva owners, and the importance of communication as a herpes diagnosis changes the way we do sex. I hope you enjoy this episode and if you found it useful, please consider leaving a donation to SPFPP so that we can pay for people's therapy services and provide support for them after their diagnosis.

Have you ever dismissed your intuition as prejudice? Have you ever seen something happening and then a voice in your head tells you this shouldn't be happening the way it is and that something is just off? Our guest this week shares their story of having dismissed their intuition around red flags landing them into Urgent Care for chlamydia treatment twice over the course of the same week. This episode highlights stigma from the health care field in that seemingly none of the providers seemed to want to discuss sex or sexual health. Nor did anyone want to say there was a possibility of the presented symptoms actually being an STI despite their lack of concern for it. This experience teaches us the importance of asking questions when we feel ourselves sensing that something just isn't right. I hope you'll learn as much as I did from this experience.

The human behind the Instagram @makegodgayagain and I did a live and were having technical difficulties with the formatting so we were able to record this audio and add it as an episode. She challenged me and asked some great questions about intersectionality, dating, herpes mythunderstandings and let me share Something Positive for Positive People resources with her audience which I'm super thankful for because a couple generous donations came in to help us get to a place where we can get therapy/counseling for those navigating stigma post-diagnosis.

Don't have the strength to help yourself? Help someone else who may be in the same position you are and see how it changes you. It's far more simple to to for others than it is for ourselves oftentimes. Our guest this week shares how she overcame a suicide attempt after her herpes diagnosis and healed through support from supporting others. There's a gift for us in giving that's waiting on us.

Monica Laipple is the host of the podcast, "Invisible Not Broken", a chronic illness and disability podcast. Monica and I connected on a joint interview with Lauren Selfridge's podcast, "This is Not What I Ordered" and connected right away. I asked Monica how she was always able to keep pushing despite her body's constant rejection of her will and ideas because I believe there is much to be learned from her experience with rejection. Her body is rejecting her rather than how a person living with herpes may reject their body. The perspective here is amazing and I hope you are able to take away something that connects with you. Connect with Monica via: Business @invisiblenotbrk Personal @PhotographerWRS Twitter @invisiblenotbroken Instagram @invisiblenotbroken YouTube Invisible Not Broken

If you didn't have herpes, would you still be with the person you're with right now? How many of us were in this position or are currently in this position where we'd rather have toxic companionship over a healthy relationship with ourselves? We stay in these relationships because we are concerned about what others will think, but what if the roles were reversed with a loved one? We'd tell them get out of the relationship and we'd support them. We discuss public disclosure and that it's okay to NOT want to do it. In relationships when you see those red flags, don't ever ignore them because there's something there. Side note: we mentioned our guest's YouTube Channel on herpes, from the date of our recording back in March, she has chosen to remove it.