Latter Day Struggles

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title:  2022 Strength of Youth Pamphlet Health Check [Part I of VII]Join Nathan and Val in this walk down "For the Strength of the Youth" memory lane.  Beginning with the first rendition in the 60's and its humorous fixation on proper fashion to the focus on measuring up to God of the 1990's pamphlet and anxiety inducing do's and don'ts lists of the 2011 pamphlet...there is plenty to compare and contrast about how this official position statement has change and changed and changed.  This episode is first in a few that will analyze first these older documents and then dive into the new document and look at what is helpful in strengthening our relationship with God and what is not.  Articles referenced in this episode:What are the biggest changes to the new ‘For the Strength of Youth’ booklet? By Jake Frandsen, LDSLivingFor the Strength of Youth: 1965 to today, UtahValley360Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Join Valerie and Nathan as they break down the Young Women's and Young Men's Themes from the perspective of healthy identity development as children of divine parents, each with a unique identity and purpose in this life.  Val and Nathan celebrate the 'wins' in each document and then describe why certain elements of each document might be problematic for the healthy development of youth of both genders and for different reasons.  Sometimes documents of this nature that designate specific roles, responsibilities,  and accomplishments as measures of progress or worthiness [to others and/or God] evoke unintended problems in the youth's ability to ultimately accept themselves as infinitely worthy of love and capable of crafting a life using their own inner compass.Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie validates those who are struggling with some current policies that are wounding our sexual and gender minority friends and loved ones and invites a deeper understanding of both the hurt and our potential to heal this hurt by looking at Carol Lynn Pearson's book "No More Goodbyes".   In this episode Val breaks down what she considers to be five foundational healthy psychological relationship paradigms and contrasts these with five unhealthy paradigms that are the current lived experience of so many who suffer in our circles.These paradigms include:1: HEALTHY--We are all innately worthy of love just as we are. 1: UNHEALTHY--A false belief that some humans are born with something innately 'wrong' with them.  2: HEALTHY-- Parent/child relationships encompass deep unconditional love that helps a parent learn the depth of God's love for them as they learn how to love their unique children, 2 UNHEALTHY--Parents sometimes feel compelled to choose loyalty to an institution over unconditional love for their child.  This choice may be expressed through subtle disappointment/distancing or through explicit rejection.  3:  HEALTHY--The family is the basic unit of society that enables people to learn how to bond, love, and serve one another through lived experiences and stages 3:  UNHEALTHY--Only a certain prescribed type of family is considered acceptable and families that do not follow the prescribed model will not be seen as acceptable 4:  HEALTHY--People gain healthy ego structures by being in relationship with influential caregivers who are consistent, loving, and make repairs when inevitable struggles happen. These relationships are called 'secure attachment relationships'.   4: UNHEALTHY--People's brains become traumatized when the influential caregiver acts like they love the person sometimes but also abuse the same person at other times. This is disorienting and deeply painful to the person on the receiving end of this acceptance/rejection dynamic.  This is called a 'disorganized attachment relationship'.  5:  HEALTHY--Love heals.  5:  UNHEALTHY—Hate destroys.Valerie infuses stories from No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons around Our Gay Loved Ones, by Carol Lynn Pearson to illustrate powerfully each of these psychological principles.  *****Trigger Warning****This episode discusses incidents of attempted suicide. PLEASE SHARE THIS EPISODE!  Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie talks to those of you out there whose faith and trust crises are at least in part due to issues around the LDS church's doctrine, policies, and consequent treatment towards our sexual and gender minority friends and family members.  This episode focuses especially on scientific findings that clearly explain that sexual orientation is not a choice and therefore cannot be condemned or changed. Valerie analyses Gregory Prince's info-packed lecture titled "Science Vs. Dogma: Biology Challenges the LDS Paradigm of Homosexuality."This episode covers:The prevalence of homosexuality both in humans and other animalsLack of scientific understanding around the origins of homosexuality until relatively recentlyPreliminary research findings in the fields of genetics and epigenetic that prove that gayness is in-bornThe LDS church's historic attempts at encouraging "cures" for homosexuality and its consequent damage2 reasons why the church may be compelled eventually to change its doctrine and policyWhat we at the grassroots can and must do to love, protect, and champion this change to protect our gay loved ones as respectful but courageous reformersBooks mentioned and recommended:Gay Latter-day Saint Crossroads: My Journey, Your Journey, and a Scripture-based Path Forward, by Evan SmithTabernacles of Clay: Sexuality and Gender in Modern Mormonism, by Taylor PetreyHelpful Links for Listeners:Facebook Support Group:  I'll Walk With You – A Support Group for LDS Parents of LGBTQ+ ChildrenSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie is interviewed by Kate Gregory, host of the growing podcast "In Her Image".  The main subjects addressed is the strange but undeniable fear that many in the orthodoxy seem to experience in the very idea of a living real-time relationship with a feminine divine.  Questions addressed include the following: Why is fear associated with a feminine divine? Why is there a connection between people seeking a feminine divine and their sometimes distancing themselves from the church?  Why MUST it be okay to "claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our conscience" and why MUST it be okay to "worship how, where, and what [we] may?"  (sound familiar anyone?  Yeah...this is our own article of faith, people!!) What is the possible correlation between a fear of the feminine divine and the formal patriarchal structures of much of conservative Christianity?  How do I address others who try to impose structure on my personal patterns of worship?Valerie placed this episode here specifically because issues of gender, power, and patriarchy are also highly correlated with LDS Faith Crisis.   Please jump over to "In Her Image" for a lot of wonderful insight and scholarship on Heavenly Mother. Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Faith Crisis Report [Part V of V]In this closing episode of this information-packed series, Valerie and Nathan walk through the final portion of the LDS Faith Crisis Report and share the research team's formal insights, their recommended strategies, and specific tactics to help heal our suffering members in crisis.  These findings fall into five categories as follows: Close the history gap. Console Individuals in faith crisis Support families in faith crisis Provide pastoral counsel to those sufferingOffer outward facing compassionate service organized by the church.  This series is some of the most important content so far on desperately needs to be shared far and wide.  Please send on to your own friends and family.  Too many people are suffering and deserve love, compassion, and validation. The report referenced in this and the four following episodes is linked here: ⁠https://faenrandir.github.io/a_careful_examination/documents/faith_crisis_study/Faith_Crisis_R28e.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0HEjV8dDVB9J1__x6ISIgHBRFw5TL06l-mr38edrjdAqbVZbp7Ox2ZvuU&fs=e&s=cl&fs=e&s=cl⁠Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Faith Crisis Report [Part IV of V]In this episode Nathan and Valerie break down what the researchers call the “Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection”, the typical and predictable emotional experience of one who experiences the LDS faith crisis.The 8 stages are as follows:InitiationSearchTroubling DiscoveryBetrayalHarsh TreatmentDistancingAnger Magnification, andDisaffectionVal and Nathan highlight how this painful experience is tragic in part because those in faith crisis are already experiencing massive anguish due to what feels like the crumbling of their very foundation and really want, need, and deserve compassion, love, and support.  But often they are shamed, shunned, or avoided.  They are hoping that shining a spotlight on this phenomenon will help more people become educated and eventually ease the grief and isolation of those who suffer. PLEASE SHARE THIS SERIES. The report referenced in this and the four following episodes is linked here: ⁠https://faenrandir.github.io/a_careful_examination/documents/faith_crisis_study/Faith_Crisis_R28e.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0HEjV8dDVB9J1__x6ISIgHBRFw5TL06l-mr38edrjdAqbVZbp7Ox2ZvuU&fs=e&s=cl&fs=e&s=cl⁠Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Faith Crisis Report [Part III of V]Join Valerie and Nathan breaking down the fascinating research done by a team of experts who wanted to help the general authorities of the LDS church better understand what is REALLY going on amongst thousands of people in faith and trust crises in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  In this episode Valerie and Nathan break down what this research team found to be the typical trajectory of the crisis that so many of us experience.  Here are the following stages, which Val and Nathan review and analyze: Stage 1: True Believing phase Stage 2: Catalyst Experience phase Stage 3:  Traumatized believer phase Stage 4:  Traumatized disbeliever OR Less-literal believer phase Stage 5:  Secular participant OR ex/post Mormon phase.This analysis highlights no path to healthy activity in the church when one goes through our unique LDS version of Faith Crisis. Val and Nathan highlight the need for this painful issue to be addressed both from the leadership perspective and by helping those who suffer to better understand their own suffering and come to know how to navigate this issue with more psychological and spiritual agency. The report referenced in this and the four following episodes is linked here: ⁠https://faenrandir.github.io/a_careful_examination/documents/faith_crisis_study/Faith_Crisis_R28e.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0HEjV8dDVB9J1__x6ISIgHBRFw5TL06l-mr38edrjdAqbVZbp7Ox2ZvuU&fs=e&s=cl&fs=e&s=cl⁠Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Faith Crisis Report [Part II of V]In this content-packed episode, Val and Nathan go deeper into the LDS Faith Crisis Report, breaking down and analyzing a LOT of information discovered by the team of researchers trying to help the brethren at church headquarters better understand the nature of the problems we as a church are having.  Covered in this episode:1. The Researcher's objectives Faith crisis definedResearchers analysis around why a focus on faith crisis is crucial for the survival of the churchThe need for new metrics to truly understand the state of health/sickness within the membership of the churchThe need for disruptive innovation (as opposed to sustainable innovation)Discovery of factors that drive faith crisis Demographics of those who suffer most frequently from faith crisis Reasons why faith crisis happens Repercussions of those who experience faith crisis Overview of survey findings  The report referenced in this and the four following episodes is linked here: https://faenrandir.github.io/a_careful_examination/documents/faith_crisis_study/Faith_Crisis_R28e.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0HEjV8dDVB9J1__x6ISIgHBRFw5TL06l-mr38edrjdAqbVZbp7Ox2ZvuU&fs=e&s=cl&fs=e&s=clSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Faith Crisis Report [Part I of V]In this episode Valerie sets the stage for a detailed analysis of a report compiled by a team of highly talented Latter Day Saint scholars in various professional fields endeavoring to help the General Authorities of the Church better understand the nature of the current suffering of so many multi-generational LDS church members in faith and trust crises.This episode is the first of a five part series that will go deeply into all key aspects of this study and serves as a general overview covering why the study was performed, who performed it, a timeline of the development of this report, what they desired to communicate, how they tried to communicate it with church headquarters, and the reception this report received from the general leadership of the LDS church.This episode also breaks down what each of the following four episodes in the series will cover.  Buckle up...this report is both fascinating and tragic in its ability to articulate the depth of the problem we as a church are facing.  It also offers brilliant solutions.Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website