Latter Day Struggles

Send us a Positive Review!Series: 2022 Strength of Youth Health Check [Part III of VII]In this episode Val and Nathan focus on the section in the pamphlet that outlines the LDS church’s teachings on the atonement of Jesus Christ and riff about some positives in this section as well as what they feel might be a generalized misunderstanding about the nature of Christ’s truly infinite power to heal us through love.They start with Val breaking down 3 atonement theories:Ransom TheorySatisfaction TheoryPenal Substitution Theoryand talk about which of these theories seem to be most generally accepted in LDS thought… and why this is problematic.They then address several questions, including:Must we do something to activate the healing power of the atonement? Does God really demand justice of their children and does Jesus Christ really intervene to protect us from our own justice-demanding parents [and why would we worship that kind of God?] Is this stance possibly a product of centuries of patriarchy? Why would “sin/repentance” language be better replaced with “wounded/healing” language to connect us with Christ? Who truly demands justice and struggles the most receiving Christ’s mercy [hint: look in the mirror]? What keeps people from sinning their lives away if they aren’t motivated by fear, punishment, or disappointment from God and Christ? The essence of this episode is that the atonement is founded in love, was performed through love and heals us through love even before we have a chance to mess up. Buckle up and maybe catch this episode twice because it’s likely atonement ideas you never heard in church. Brilliant books referenced: The Universal Christ: How a Forgotten Reality Can Change Everything We See, Hope for, and Believe, by Richard RohrAll Things New: Rethinking Sin, Salvation, and Everything in Between, by Terryl and Fiona GivensDialogues With Myself Personal Essays on Mormon Experience, by Eugene EnglandSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Due to the large number of enquiries I have received about joining a space-limited support group, this short episode will answer some of the common questions that many of you have about what to expect in a Latter Day Struggles Support Group.  I address and give examples of kinds of conversations we have, kinds of content I bring, what type of participation you might expect to have, and how well you will get to know yourself and each other.I divide my focus between immediate skills training content and practices (such as--ideas about how to have a challenging conversation with someone who does not understand your current journey) and more long term identity development, consciousness raising, soul-growth type of conversations (you'll need to listen to the episode to get the explanation on this one!). I also share several ways that we are connecting between session and a new closed Facebook group that I am soon opening for all members of all groups where I will be hosting periodic Q&Rs.  Listen in and let me know if I have not answered your questions by emailing me at info@valeriehamaker.com.Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title:  2022 Strength of Youth Pamphlet Health Check [Part II of VII]In this episode tackling the fresh new For the Strength of the Youth Pamphlet, Val and Nathan cover the first several sections of this pamphlet and on the bright side are encouraged by opening words about the lovability of our youth and how normal it is to struggle in life.  They also notice the first presidency's pointing our youth to our Savior in times of struggle and stress.  On the more concerning side, they notice yet another reference around our youth's extra super special [superior] status in the eyes of God (yikes) and that therefore the youth have special work to do to save those less fortunate than themselves (yikes again).  Val and Nathan also break down why language and ideas that divides our youth from "the world" is not a healthy paradigm spiritually or relationally.  Finally, Valerie discusses a portion of this document and its possible connection to our church's collective vulnerability with religious scrupulosity. Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title:  2022 Strength of Youth Pamphlet Health Check [Part I of VII]Join Nathan and Val in this walk down "For the Strength of the Youth" memory lane.  Beginning with the first rendition in the 60's and its humorous fixation on proper fashion to the focus on measuring up to God of the 1990's pamphlet and anxiety inducing do's and don'ts lists of the 2011 pamphlet...there is plenty to compare and contrast about how this official position statement has change and changed and changed.  This episode is first in a few that will analyze first these older documents and then dive into the new document and look at what is helpful in strengthening our relationship with God and what is not.  Articles referenced in this episode:What are the biggest changes to the new ‘For the Strength of Youth’ booklet? By Jake Frandsen, LDSLivingFor the Strength of Youth: 1965 to today, UtahValley360Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Join Valerie and Nathan as they break down the Young Women's and Young Men's Themes from the perspective of healthy identity development as children of divine parents, each with a unique identity and purpose in this life.  Val and Nathan celebrate the 'wins' in each document and then describe why certain elements of each document might be problematic for the healthy development of youth of both genders and for different reasons.  Sometimes documents of this nature that designate specific roles, responsibilities,  and accomplishments as measures of progress or worthiness [to others and/or God] evoke unintended problems in the youth's ability to ultimately accept themselves as infinitely worthy of love and capable of crafting a life using their own inner compass.Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie validates those who are struggling with some current policies that are wounding our sexual and gender minority friends and loved ones and invites a deeper understanding of both the hurt and our potential to heal this hurt by looking at Carol Lynn Pearson's book "No More Goodbyes".   In this episode Val breaks down what she considers to be five foundational healthy psychological relationship paradigms and contrasts these with five unhealthy paradigms that are the current lived experience of so many who suffer in our circles.These paradigms include:1: HEALTHY--We are all innately worthy of love just as we are. 1: UNHEALTHY--A false belief that some humans are born with something innately 'wrong' with them.  2: HEALTHY-- Parent/child relationships encompass deep unconditional love that helps a parent learn the depth of God's love for them as they learn how to love their unique children, 2 UNHEALTHY--Parents sometimes feel compelled to choose loyalty to an institution over unconditional love for their child.  This choice may be expressed through subtle disappointment/distancing or through explicit rejection.  3:  HEALTHY--The family is the basic unit of society that enables people to learn how to bond, love, and serve one another through lived experiences and stages 3:  UNHEALTHY--Only a certain prescribed type of family is considered acceptable and families that do not follow the prescribed model will not be seen as acceptable 4:  HEALTHY--People gain healthy ego structures by being in relationship with influential caregivers who are consistent, loving, and make repairs when inevitable struggles happen. These relationships are called 'secure attachment relationships'.   4: UNHEALTHY--People's brains become traumatized when the influential caregiver acts like they love the person sometimes but also abuse the same person at other times. This is disorienting and deeply painful to the person on the receiving end of this acceptance/rejection dynamic.  This is called a 'disorganized attachment relationship'.  5:  HEALTHY--Love heals.  5:  UNHEALTHY—Hate destroys.Valerie infuses stories from No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons around Our Gay Loved Ones, by Carol Lynn Pearson to illustrate powerfully each of these psychological principles.  *****Trigger Warning****This episode discusses incidents of attempted suicide. PLEASE SHARE THIS EPISODE!  Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie talks to those of you out there whose faith and trust crises are at least in part due to issues around the LDS church's doctrine, policies, and consequent treatment towards our sexual and gender minority friends and family members.  This episode focuses especially on scientific findings that clearly explain that sexual orientation is not a choice and therefore cannot be condemned or changed. Valerie analyses Gregory Prince's info-packed lecture titled "Science Vs. Dogma: Biology Challenges the LDS Paradigm of Homosexuality."This episode covers:The prevalence of homosexuality both in humans and other animalsLack of scientific understanding around the origins of homosexuality until relatively recentlyPreliminary research findings in the fields of genetics and epigenetic that prove that gayness is in-bornThe LDS church's historic attempts at encouraging "cures" for homosexuality and its consequent damage2 reasons why the church may be compelled eventually to change its doctrine and policyWhat we at the grassroots can and must do to love, protect, and champion this change to protect our gay loved ones as respectful but courageous reformersBooks mentioned and recommended:Gay Latter-day Saint Crossroads: My Journey, Your Journey, and a Scripture-based Path Forward, by Evan SmithTabernacles of Clay: Sexuality and Gender in Modern Mormonism, by Taylor PetreyHelpful Links for Listeners:Facebook Support Group:  I'll Walk With You – A Support Group for LDS Parents of LGBTQ+ ChildrenSupport the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie is interviewed by Kate Gregory, host of the growing podcast "In Her Image".  The main subjects addressed is the strange but undeniable fear that many in the orthodoxy seem to experience in the very idea of a living real-time relationship with a feminine divine.  Questions addressed include the following: Why is fear associated with a feminine divine? Why is there a connection between people seeking a feminine divine and their sometimes distancing themselves from the church?  Why MUST it be okay to "claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our conscience" and why MUST it be okay to "worship how, where, and what [we] may?"  (sound familiar anyone?  Yeah...this is our own article of faith, people!!) What is the possible correlation between a fear of the feminine divine and the formal patriarchal structures of much of conservative Christianity?  How do I address others who try to impose structure on my personal patterns of worship?Valerie placed this episode here specifically because issues of gender, power, and patriarchy are also highly correlated with LDS Faith Crisis.   Please jump over to "In Her Image" for a lot of wonderful insight and scholarship on Heavenly Mother. Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Faith Crisis Report [Part V of V]In this closing episode of this information-packed series, Valerie and Nathan walk through the final portion of the LDS Faith Crisis Report and share the research team's formal insights, their recommended strategies, and specific tactics to help heal our suffering members in crisis.  These findings fall into five categories as follows: Close the history gap. Console Individuals in faith crisis Support families in faith crisis Provide pastoral counsel to those sufferingOffer outward facing compassionate service organized by the church.  This series is some of the most important content so far on desperately needs to be shared far and wide.  Please send on to your own friends and family.  Too many people are suffering and deserve love, compassion, and validation. The report referenced in this and the four following episodes is linked here: ⁠https://faenrandir.github.io/a_careful_examination/documents/faith_crisis_study/Faith_Crisis_R28e.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0HEjV8dDVB9J1__x6ISIgHBRFw5TL06l-mr38edrjdAqbVZbp7Ox2ZvuU&fs=e&s=cl&fs=e&s=cl⁠Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Faith Crisis Report [Part IV of V]In this episode Nathan and Valerie break down what the researchers call the “Perpetual Cycle of Disaffection”, the typical and predictable emotional experience of one who experiences the LDS faith crisis.The 8 stages are as follows:InitiationSearchTroubling DiscoveryBetrayalHarsh TreatmentDistancingAnger Magnification, andDisaffectionVal and Nathan highlight how this painful experience is tragic in part because those in faith crisis are already experiencing massive anguish due to what feels like the crumbling of their very foundation and really want, need, and deserve compassion, love, and support.  But often they are shamed, shunned, or avoided.  They are hoping that shining a spotlight on this phenomenon will help more people become educated and eventually ease the grief and isolation of those who suffer. PLEASE SHARE THIS SERIES. The report referenced in this and the four following episodes is linked here: ⁠https://faenrandir.github.io/a_careful_examination/documents/faith_crisis_study/Faith_Crisis_R28e.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0HEjV8dDVB9J1__x6ISIgHBRFw5TL06l-mr38edrjdAqbVZbp7Ox2ZvuU&fs=e&s=cl&fs=e&s=cl⁠Support the showSupport the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Access $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website