Latter Day Struggles

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Nathan and Valerie break down some research called the "Systems Justification Theory" that shines a light on why most people choose the status quo over the hard work of challenging the systems we know need reformation. The theory highlights four key reasons why we cling to status quo: We feel reassured by the familiarity of our own institutional mess and will suffer in silence before deciding to manage the discomfort of pushing backIn the face of outside threat, we salute. Institutions sometimes heighten a sense of outside threat to engender loyalty. We are wired to find safety in belonging to a tribeWe hope and wish for better days ahead.  We try to believe that this problem is just temporary.  Books referenced in this episode:The Art of Insubordination: How to Dissent and Defy Effectively, by Todd B. Kashdan, PhDSupport the showListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Subscription $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Donate: ⁠Venmo or Patreon⁠ Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Diagnosing Spiritual Abuse [Part III of III]Nathan and Valerie break down 3 more indicators of a system (church or family) that is struggling on some level with spiritual abuse. The scholarship used in this episode comes from non-Latter-Day Saint researchers looking at religious systems in general and pointing out specific features of the churches that tend to perpetuate the most unrighteous dominion.The 3 points that they cover in this episode are as follows:A culture of paranoia:  Where doctrine and practice focuses on how others do not understand and will not understand until they become part of the group. This also includes a culture referring to "the world" as dangerous and something to be feared.  Misplaced loyalty:  A hyper-focus on loyalty to the institution and its leaders instead of the true focus being on Jesus Christ and his atonement.Secretiveness: A culture that is very concerned with managing its image and therefore has many layers of security to protect it from "the world". These secrets are often justified by leadership who holds a condescending view of the laity, feeling that they wouldn't understand.Val and Nathan do not view systems struggling with spiritual abuse as intentionally malicious, but rather they see these struggles typical of systems that operate under some level of fear. As we each better understand what spiritual abuse looks like, we can shine a light on these struggles and encourage our system to overcome these tendencies. Please share this episode!Articles/Book referenced: ⁠14 Signs of Spiritual Abuse, by Mark DeJesus⁠⁠The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church, by David Johnson and Jeff Van VonderenSupport the showListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Subscription $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Donate: ⁠Venmo or Patreon⁠ Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Diagnosing Spiritual Abuse [Part II of III]Nathan and Valerie break down 3 more indicators of a system (church or family) that is struggling on some level with spiritual abuse. The scholarship used in this episode comes from non-Latter-Day Saint researchers looking at religious systems in general and pointing out specific features of the churches that tend to perpetuate the most unrighteous dominion. The 3 points that they cover in this episode are as follows: Tendency for the institution to hover over personal decisions in the lives of the membership  Heavy financial expectations with minimal transparency or accountability about funds received  A general culture perpetuating the institution holding the "exclusive truth" from and about God.Please share this episode! Articles/Book referenced: ⁠14 Signs of Spiritual Abuse, by Mark DeJesus⁠⁠The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church, by David Johnson and Jeff Van VonderenSupport the showListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Subscription $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Donate: ⁠Venmo or Patreon⁠ Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Diagnosing Spiritual Abuse [Part I of III]Nathan and Valerie break down 9 consistent markers of spiritually abusive systems [family or churches]. The scholarship used in this episode comes from non-Latter-Day- Saint researchers looking at religious systems in general and pointing out the specific features of the churches that tend to perpetuate the most unrighteous dominion.The 3 points that they cover in this episode are as follows: Heavy emphasis on charismatic leader who becomes the ultimate spokesperson on all spiritual issues. This includes tactics that minimize the humanity of the leadership body and maximize of focus on the humanity of the membership, with little to no checks and balances amongst the leadership, and a leadership that is not representative of a cross-section of the membership.  Legalistic beliefs and accompanying focus on PERFORMANCE: right performance, enough performance, and the adequate measurement of performance.A system of unspoken rules that no compliant member articulates [due to fear of punishment], but everyone knows.  Articles/Book referenced: 14 Signs of Spiritual Abuse, by Mark DeJesusThe Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church, by David Johnson and Jeff Van VonderenSupport the showListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Subscription $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Donate: ⁠Venmo or Patreon⁠ Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie honors feminist writer Kynthia Taylor and unpacks an excerpt from her essay called "The Trouble with Chicken Patriarchy".  She follows up with thoughts on how as a therapist she sees the damage done to both men and women in the prescribed and deeply embedded gender roles that the church inherited in its 19th century inception and has in many ways expanded upon as the world has evolved in the opposite direction. Val breaks down how the roles of provider, protector, and presider creates guilt and shame in some men whose lives do not unfold according this "check list" and how the mixed messages of the church (becoming more flexible in some ways with women's roles but not actually changing anything in the power structure of the church) creates confusion, frustration, and struggle in spiritually developing and socially conscious individuals of both genders.Support the showListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Subscription $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Donate: ⁠Venmo or Patreon⁠ Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Join Valerie and Nathan as they break down a variety of missionary-service related topics, including the following: What's with the hyper focus on missionary service of late?misdiagnosis of the problemUnrighteous dominionThoughts on mission reform...offering those who serve more personal ownership of their mission experience as a place to grow psychologically and spiritually. Thoughts on reform...realizing that the mission field is a major training ground for institutional and family-unit patriarchy where micro-aggressions are rampant, unacknowledged, and often defended. Support the showListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Subscription $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Donate: ⁠Venmo or Patreon⁠ Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode, Valerie free-associates about her weekend spent reading, studying and thinking about the recent AP article regarding allegations that the LDS church is under-reporting sex abuse shared with ecclesiastical leader--protecting the predators at the expense of the victims.  While this is a complex issue and Valerie does not pretend to know many answers, as a trauma therapist and a mandated reporter herself, she poses many questions that she would love for "the church" to answer, to help her and others concerned better understand and feel that the church is not only explaining themselves, but more importantly, considering a change of policy to protect the vulnerable.  Article referenced in episode:Arizona court upholds clergy privilege in child abuse case, by Michael Rezendes, Jason DearenSupport the showListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Subscription $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Donate: ⁠Venmo or Patreon⁠ Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Did you miss the AMAZING Sunstone Symposium 2022?  No worries!  In this episode you'll catch at least one lecture!  Join Valerie as she shares her session formally called "The Jungian Shadow and Mormon History" where she will cover:1.  The meaning of the Jungian ShadowHow we all try to DENY our personal shadows in creative ways that estrange us from owning and integrating our shadow partsA case study in shadow integration:  King David self confronts with the help of the prophet NathanA case study in shadow non-integration:  Joseph Smith Jr. does not self confront (in spite of Oliver's attempts to be his "Nathan")How this unresolved shadow continues to haunt us as an institution today in the form of deep struggles around the issues of sexuality, patriarchy, and hard powerWhat we can do to help our institution heal from this collective shadow.Support the showListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Subscription $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Donate: ⁠Venmo or Patreon⁠ Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Imagine attending an LDS meeting where people from the extremes of belief and practice come together and enjoy one another's company, share their stories, experiences, thoughts, opinions, and struggles, and are met with openness, curiosity, compassion, and non-judgment?  This was our experience at our very first Sunstone Symposium--an annual gathering we just attended with a little bit of anxiety and a lot of curiosity.In this episode Nathan and Val share more about specific moments that they enjoyed, some very unique kinds of people they met, and why they will not only be back, but why this un-official "General Conference" gave them hope that we as a church are capable of true community. Support the showListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Subscription $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Donate: ⁠Venmo or Patreon⁠ Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Can't make it to the Sunstone Symposium 2022?  Join Valerie on this episode as she walks you through one of her Sunstone Presentations breaking down the following:Scott Peck's Stages of Faith DevelopmentCharacteristics of institutions in lower stages of faith developmentValerie's theories on why we as an institution are stuckActual comments from podcast listeners about their faith deconstruction and how this is often faith progression (not regression)Why those in the orthodoxy and those in skepticism struggle with each other How to become a truly open community where all stages of faith are welcomed. Support the showListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Subscription $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Donate: ⁠Venmo or Patreon⁠ Visit our Website