Mark Leary, a psychology and neuroscience professor at Duke University, dives into the complexities of social rejection. He explores why rejection hurts so deeply, both emotionally and physically. Leary discusses the sociometer concept, which tracks our perceived social value and influences our sensitivity to acceptance and rejection. He also addresses how cultural factors shape male responses to rejection and the potential for aggressive behaviors stemming from feelings of exclusion. Finally, Mark offers practical strategies for managing rejection with empathy and resilience.

Dr. Mark Leary, a former professor of psychology and neuroscience, discusses the role of self-esteem in our lives. He talks about reshaping self-esteem for personal growth, shifting from external validation, navigating social anxiety, and effective leadership. The podcast dives into sociometer theory and the importance of belonging, acceptance, and positive interactions in organizations. It also explores techniques to overcome public speaking anxiety and the dark side of self-focus and self-reflection.

We all overestimate how much we know. Our guest tries a practice in slowing down to ask more questions, and finds it leads to higher quality connections. Link to episode transcript: https://tinyurl.com/3mxt2f5e Episode summary: What happens when we pause and open up to ideas that we didn’t think of ourselves? This episode is about intellectual humility, the ability to surrender to the idea that we might not have all the information or may not be right. Our guest is Kelly Corrigan, a best-selling author and host of PBS talk show Tell Me More and podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders. Her teams look to her for direction, but she wanted to see what would happen if she paused more to ask them questions, and found it totally changed her approach to both her work and family life. We also explore science around the subtle ways we react differently to people we disagree with, and how intellectual humility can change that. Try this practice: Cultivate Intellectual Humility If you can, write out your answers. When you encounter information or an opinion that contradicts your opinion or worldview, ask yourself questions like these: Why do you disagree? Are you making any assumptions? Might those assumptions be wrong? How did you come to your opinion? Think about the scenario from the perspective of a person who disagrees with you. Try to imagine how they came to believe what they believe: What information might they be basing their opinion off of? What values do you think they’re weighing in how they think about this topic? Can you imagine how they came to hold those values? 3. Tap into your intellectual humility: Identify places where, before, you didn’t acknowledge the limitations of what you know Now that you’ve worked to see this issue from another person’s point of view, do you see more value in their perspective? Today’s guests: Kelly Corrigan is the author of five books. She’s also the host for PBS’s longform interview show, Tell Me More and Kelly Corrigan Wonders*.* Check out Kelly’s website: https://www.kellycorrigan.com Follow Kelly on Twitter: https://twitter.com/corrigankelly Follow Kelly on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellycorrigan/ Mark Leary is a psychologist and emeritus professor at Duke University. Learn more about Mark and his work: https://sites.duke.edu/leary/ Check out Mark’s research on Google Scholar: https://tinyurl.com/p8ayz8dn Resources from The Greater Good Science Center: What Does Intellectual Humility Look Like? https://tinyurl.com/5n949h69 Five Reasons Intellectual Humility is Good for You: https://tinyurl.com/2ce3jrmc Intellectual Humility Quiz: https://tinyurl.com/574k99fs Three Reasons for Leaders to Cultivate Intellectual Humility: https://tinyurl.com/2s4ecda6 How to Know if You’re Actually Humble: https://tinyurl.com/y8js44v More Resources on Intellectual Humility Vox - Intellectual humility: The importance of knowing you might be wrong: https://tinyurl.com/2cryd336 Financial Times - Why Intellectual Humility Matters: https://tinyurl.com/5n84hsh7 Psych Central - How Humility Strengthens Your Relationship: https://tinyurl.com/2fj9a4wh University of Notre Dame - To Make Better Decisions, Get More Comfortable Saying “I Don’t Know”  https://tinyurl.com/3npysxh8 Tell us about your thoughts on intellectual humility. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod. Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap This episode was supported by a grant from the John Templeton Foundation, as part of our project on "Expanding Awareness of the Science of Intellectual Humility." For more on the project, go to www.ggsc.berkeley.edu/IH.

What a gift the human self is. It enables you to sense and reflect upon your own existence; examine the past and plan for the future; check certain impulses in order to reach for other aims; and conceptualize how others see you, allowing you to better connect with them. But, my guest says, the blessing of the self also comes with a curse, one we need to get a handle on if we're to live flourishing lives. His name is Mark Leary, and he's a professor emeritus of psychology and neuroscience and the author of The Curse of the Self: Self-Awareness, Egotism, and the Quality of Human Life. Today on the show, Mark unpacks exactly what the self is and its vital benefits, before delving into the downsides that also come with having a self. Mark then shares how people can make the most of the advantages of the self, while mitigating its disadvantages, including the practice he most recommends for quieting the kinds of self-related thoughts and ego-driven behaviors that can make us miserable.

This week I'm thrilled to welcome Mark Leary, Ph.D. to The Psychology Podcast! Dr. Leary is the Garonzik Family Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke University and author of The Curse of the Self. His research interests focus on social motivation and emotion, and on processes involving self-reflection and self-relevant thought. He has written or edited 12 books and over 200 scholarly articles and chapters. He was the 2010 recipient of the Lifetime Career Award from the International Society for Self and Identity and a 2015 co-recipient of the Scientific Impact Award from the Society for Experimental Social Psychology. During our chat we covered a number of mutual research interests including: Links: Read Dr. Leary's new blog at PsychologyToday Self-esteem, identity and their relationships to behavior The distinction between “instrumental social value" and "relational social value" The human need for belonging The concept of “self-presentation strategies" and their variations: <ul> <li>Imposter syndrome<br /> Self-promotion Ingratiation The difference between egoism and egotism Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-psychology-podcast/supportSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.