This podcast delves into deep feelings of loneliness, struggles in expressing upset to others, coping with goodbyes and endings, and dealing with hurtful people. It also explores ECT treatment effects, feelings of abandonment, and setting boundaries with toxic family members.
Loneliness can have different underlying causes, requiring individualized approaches for addressing it effectively.
Self-punishing tendencies may stem from past experiences, necessitating self-awareness and assertive communication for mental well-being.
Seeking professional help and employing coping strategies are vital for managing loneliness and suicidal thoughts effectively.
Establishing boundaries with toxic family members is crucial for personal well-being, requiring self-reflection and therapy support.
Deep dives
Understanding Different Types of Loneliness
Loneliness can stem from various situations including not fitting in, losing a pet, moving to a new place, or feeling disconnected from friends. Identifying the root cause of loneliness is essential for addressing it effectively. Transitional loneliness during life changes like breakups or career shifts can also contribute to feelings of isolation.
Challenging Self-Punishment Patterns
Many individuals tend to punish themselves instead of holding others accountable when upset, often stemming from childhood experiences where self-expression was met with shame or neglect. Overcoming this pattern involves understanding the origins of self-punishment and learning to communicate assertively.
Coping with Feelings of Loneliness and Suicidal Ideation
Loneliness can trigger suicidal thoughts, leading to feelings of hopelessness and isolation. It is crucial to seek professional help and explore the root causes of loneliness to address it effectively. Engaging in self-soothing activities, setting boundaries, and challenging negative thoughts can aid in coping with loneliness.
Seeking Support for Mental Health Challenges
Utilizing therapy and support systems is beneficial for addressing mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and trauma responses. Understanding personal triggers and exploring coping mechanisms like bridge statements, fact checking, and grounding techniques can help navigate challenges effectively. Seeking professional assistance is essential for long-term healing and growth.
Navigating Relationships with Toxic Family Members
Setting boundaries and maintaining healthy relationships with toxic family members can be challenging but necessary for personal well-being. Recognizing one's needs, untangling feelings of guilt or responsibility, and seeking therapy support are key steps in establishing healthy boundaries and self-care.
Exploring Attachment and Seeking Anesthetic Relief
The desire for care and anesthetic relief can be linked to past experiences of emotional neglect or trauma. Communicating openly with healthcare providers about treatment motivations and addressing underlying attachment issues is essential for sustainable healing and self-awareness. Seeking professional guidance and exploring root causes can lead to more balanced coping strategies.
Coping with Rejection Sensitivity and Waiting for Communication
Managing feelings of abandonment and rejection sensitivity while waiting for responses can be challenging, especially with ADHD and anxiety. Examining past relational patterns, practicing radical acceptance, and using CBT tools like checking facts and grounding techniques can aid in navigating these emotions effectively. Seeking support and exploring personal triggers can lead to healthier coping strategies.
Utilizing Therapy Techniques for Emotional Well-being
Applying therapy techniques like checking facts, radical acceptance, and grounding exercises can help manage distressing emotions and improve relationships. Exploring past experiences, seeking professional guidance, and practicing self-compassion are crucial for long-term emotional well-being and growth.
This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about loneliness and why we can still feel lonely even after spending time with those we love. She also explains why we can struggle to express upset to those who hurt us, and almost prefer to turn it in on ourselves. Then Kati offers some ideas on how to better deal with goodbyes and endings, and times of year when more people reach out for help. She digs into ways we can love people who are hurtful to us from a distance, ECT treatment and its effects, and feelings of abandonment in our relationships.
Ask Kati Anything episode 198 audience questions:
Loneliness - mine isn’t the ‘simply be around like-minded people’ type. It’s this deep feeling - not always dark, but when it gets dark, it really feels awful, quite dangerous as well. Can you please talk about types of loneliness? Because in trying to talk about my loneliness, I often find myself in a lonelier spot....
When I get upset with someone else, I tend to feel the urge to punish myself for being upset rather than holding them accountable. Why is this happening? It’s totally destroying my mental health and relationships.
I'm looking for some tips on how I can better cope with goodbyes and endings. It's almost unreal how upset I get, even when something doesn't really mean that much to me. A co-worker I'm not even close to can retire, or a neighbor I rarely talk to can move, and it devastates me. Or a restaurant can close, or a TV show can end, and I feel sad and anxious at the thought of something being "over"...
Hi Kati! I was wondering as a therapist, if there are certain times of year that you tend to get more patients. I imagine that with health insurance deductibles resetting January 1, that many people would either start therapy or stop therapy around New Years. I also wonder if seasonal depression plays a role in this. Just curious, thanks!
Can you talk about ”loving at a distance” when one has to get away from their toxic home or parents, but still loves them and that it is possible to set boundaries and have one's own life without them in a healthy way?
I’ve been suffering from depression for quite some time and have tried many different kinds of treatments. I started doing ECT about 2 years ago and am currently on maintenance. I am embarrassed to admit it, but if I am honest with myself, I’ve kept going for a while largely for the anesthesia. I might also have developed an attachment to the care that I get as I am being prepped for the treatment.
I really struggle a lot with feeling a sense of abandonment when I'm (impatiently) waiting for a response to a text from a friend, or when I don't hear from them for a while, I automatically think the worst has happened!! For context, I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD, along with anxiety, depression & I strongly suspect CPTSD as well. Sometimes distraction or "radical acceptance" works (I have done some CBT therapy already), but not always. Any suggestions Kati?
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While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: https://betterhelp.com/kati
