**Click HERE to learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Enhancing Sexual Intimacy course**

Many of us have been taught the misguided idea that to be virtuous we must be desireless.

Not all desires are created equal, and there is an important distinction to be made between our lower and higher desires. Lower desires are driven by our ego—they are self-serving, driven by our need to feel good, and are antithetical to spiritual development. Higher desires, on the other hand, encourage our growth and expansion, these are the desires that promote our development and increase our ability to love those around us.

The pursuit of our higher desires is not only worthwhile, it’s imperative to our psychological, emotional, and spiritual development.

In this episode, I joined Ryan and Jordan, hosts of The Stoic Dad podcast, to discuss the difference between higher and lower desires, the important distinction between wants and desires, productive and unproductive suffering, as well as what defines mature masculinity and the dynamics of attraction.