We Can Do Hard Things

How to Have *Healthy* Conflict with Amanda Ripley (Best Of)

70 snips
Aug 17, 2025
Amanda Ripley, an investigative journalist and conflict resolution expert, shares insights on navigating disputes. She highlights the difference between constructive and destructive conflict, along with the importance of emotional intelligence. Amanda discusses techniques like the BIF method for fostering healthy conversations and the role of empathy in resolving conflicts. She emphasizes knowing shame responses and urges adopting curiosity over judgment to improve understanding in difficult situations, ultimately transforming conflict into an opportunity for growth.
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INSIGHT

Movement Versus Stagnation

  • High conflict escalates into us-vs-them, distorts perception, and causes chronic stress.
  • Good conflict moves you forward with anger and curiosity instead of contempt and stagnation.
ANECDOTE

A Pause That Changed Their Fight

  • Glennon and Abby described a recent fight where a wise pause let Glennon stay soft and Abby speak up.
  • They credited less shame and self-regulation for transforming their conflict into movement.
ADVICE

Take A Real Pause

  • When you pause, take at least 30 minutes and do something that occupies your brain differently.
  • Listen to a podcast or watch silly TV to stop rumination and return calmer.
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