How to Be a Better Human: How to stop finding your self-worth through your job (w/ Gloria Chan Packer)
Oct 25, 2023
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Gloria Chan Packer, mental wellness educator, discusses the perils of finding self-worth through work, shares her experience with burnout and stress, and offers insights on setting boundaries, managing burnout, and separating self-worth from work.
Tying our self-worth to our jobs can lead to overwork and burnout, emphasizing the importance of establishing healthier boundaries and priorities.
Setting boundaries is not about controlling others, but about identifying and communicating our own needs, emphasizing the significance of authentic communication and collective problem-solving.
Deep dives
The Impact of Identifying and Communicating Needs
Gloria Chan Packer, a mental wellness educator and TED speaker, shares her personal journey of burnout and the importance of identifying and communicating needs in the workplace. She emphasizes that many of us tie our self-worth to our work, which can lead to overwork and burnout. Chan Packer advises taking the time to reflect on what makes work or overworking feel safe and exploring the cognitive schemas that influence our behaviors. By understanding the source of our need for validation through work, we can begin to establish healthier boundaries and priorities.
Boundaries and the Issue of Control
Chan Packer highlights common misconceptions about boundaries, such as using them as a means of control or weaponizing them. Boundaries are not about demanding or controlling others, but rather about identifying and communicating our own needs. She suggests focusing on our language and being specific about what we need and the impact it will have if those needs are not met. Chan Packer acknowledges that setting boundaries can be challenging and that sometimes we may not get the outcome we desire. However, she emphasizes the importance of communicating boundaries authentically and collectively problem-solving to support both work and relationships.
Setting Boundaries in Different Work Dynamics
Chan Packer explores setting boundaries from different perspectives, including being a leader and being in a lower position within an organization. She emphasizes the significance of identifying and communicating needs while considering the impact on the work and organization. Chan Packer acknowledges that some industries or workplaces may not support boundaries, requiring individuals to decide whether to make micro or macro changes. She advises evaluating priorities and making changes based on individual circumstances. Additionally, she suggests the importance of regularly reassessing workloads and adjusting boundaries accordingly, as priorities and circumstances may change over time.
Understanding and Managing Burnout
Chan Packer addresses the issue of burnout and emphasizes that eradicating burnout entirely is unrealistic. Instead, she advocates for developing a healthier and more sustainable relationship with stress and burnout. She mentions that burnout is often a result of feeling powerless and not taking accountability for internal change. Chan Packer encourages individuals to reflect on their own needs, evaluate their bandwidth before saying yes to new commitments, and consider setting realistic work hours and boundaries. She also highlights the importance of being kind to oneself and recognizing that the journey of sustainable behavioral change is not linear.
For some of us, it's easy to lose ourselves in our work. But a lack of boundaries between your personal and work life is something mental wellness educator Gloria Chan Packer would warn you twice about. Gloria speaks about the perils of gaining your sense of self-worth from your job, discusses her experience with burnout and stress and shares empowering insights on how to shift our perspectives to create – and maintain – a healthy distance. This is an episode of the podcast How to Be a Better Human, another podcast from the TED Audio Collective. Listen to How to Be a Better Human wherever you are listening to this. For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscripts