Margaret Cho - They Told Me I Was Too Fat To Play Myself

Jan 7, 2026

Margaret Cho, a groundbreaking comedian and activist, reflects on her journey through the ups and downs of her career. She candidly discusses the absurdities of being told she was 'too fat to play herself,' leading to struggles with disordered eating and addiction. With humor as her lifeline, Cho shares her near-death experience and the intervention that finally pushed her toward sobriety. This heartfelt conversation dives into the interplay of identity, body image, and the transformative power of laughter in overcoming shame and adversity.

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INSIGHT

Shame Fuels Creative Truth

Shame can ignite your history and fuel artistic truth when transformed into work.
Margaret Cho says harnessing shame improves art and deepens creative authenticity.

question_answer

ANECDOTE

Network Consultants Misread Identity

Margaret Cho describes networks hiring consultants to make sure she was "doing Asian right" for All-American Girl.
The network treated immigrant identity like an alien concept, equating extraterrestrials with immigrants.

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ANECDOTE

Too Fat To Play Herself

Critics attacked Cho's weight and she was told she was "too fat to play yourself" on TV.
That pressure led her to extreme dieting and using the 90s diet drug Fen-Phen to lose weight fast.

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Shame, Identity and Early Influences

04:01 • 2min

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Values from San Francisco to Activism

05:55 • 5min

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Finding Funny and Early Career

11:20 • 31sec

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All American Girl: Getting the Sitcom

11:51 • 3min

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Network Missteps and 'Doing Asian Right'

14:52 • 5min

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Body Image Pressure from the Sitcom

19:49 • 2min

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Too Fat To Play Yourself: The Mind‑Fuck

21:52 • 3min

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Health Consequences of Extreme Dieting

24:27 • 6min

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Embarrassing Stage Moment and Diet Culture

30:30 • 7min

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Therapy, Recovery Steps and Eating Support

37:20 • 43sec

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Abuse, Food and Repeating Patterns

38:03 • 5min

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Escalation to Drugs and Alcohol

42:43 • 2min

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Near‑Death Experience and Denial

45:06 • 3min

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Intervention and Institutional Recovery

48:18 • 3min

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Life in Recovery and Daily Practices

51:11 • 3min

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Advice: Hope, Food Relationships, and Recovery

• Mentioned in 37 episodes

Invisible Man

Ralph Ellison

In 'Invisible Man,' Ralph Ellison tells the story of a nameless black protagonist who navigates the surreal and often hostile world of 20th-century America. The novel begins with the narrator living in an underground room, reflecting on his life and the various ways he has experienced social invisibility. He recounts his journey from a small Southern town to Harlem, involving experiences with racism, a brutal 'battle royal,' and his involvement with the Brotherhood, a civil rights group. The narrative delves into themes of identity, power, and the struggle for self-definition in a society that refuses to see him. Through his experiences, the narrator grapples with the complexities of being a black man in America, ultimately leading to a profound exploration of invisibility and the search for one's true self.

This episode contains description of addiction, eating disorders and discussion of suicide.

Our guest today is the pioneering comedian, actor and activist Margaret Cho. She began performing comedy as a teenager, opening for Jerry Seinfeld at just 14, before becoming one of the most influential stand-ups of her generation.

Now in her 50s, Margaret reflects in this episode on the cancellation of her groundbreaking sitcom, All-American Girl, and the surreal "miscalculations" of a network that hired consultants to ensure she was "doing Asian right". She speaks candidly about the "mind f***" of being told she was "too fat to play herself", which triggered a dangerous spiral into disordered eating, 90s diet drugs and eventual kidney failure.

She opens up about a suicidal near-death experience that she was initially too afraid to admit even to herself - and about the intervention by friends that finally led her to sobriety.

This conversation explores shame, rage and the life-saving importance of humour. Because, as Margaret says, sometimes laughter can be the thing that keeps you breathing.

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction

04:37 Childhood Reflections

06:59 Political and Social Commentary

10:43 The Sitcom Experience

18:35 Body Image and Health Struggles

26:13 Legacy and Influence

26:54 The Struggle with Diet Culture

28:34 Embarrassing Moments on Stage

32:10 Family Influence on Weight Issues

33:22 Seeking Help and Therapy

34:05 Childhood Abuse and Its Impact

37:27 Battling Drug and Alcohol Addiction

43:09 Intervention and Recovery

46:51 Finding Hope and Happiness

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

You carry the otherness with you as a kind of residual suffering that's still there.

Shame is such an electric emotion. It really ignites your history and gets to the core of who you are. I think that's vital as an artist and also it improves your art if you can somehow rise above it.

Humour is really hope. Humour and laughter is the intake of breath, which is the preservation of the body for the next moment.

The more deep work that you do, the more pain you've endured, the more you can share with the world.

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123, email them at jo@samaritans.org, or visit www.samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.

Margaret Cho’s Choligarchy Comedy Tour

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

📚 WANT MORE?

Monica Lewinsky - on public shame, misogyny and learning how to reclaim your story after being defined by one moment swap.fm/l/jD3LnWFLZq4jRqSX1yQ9

Lily Allen - on addiction, recovery and rebuilding self-worth under intense public scrutiny https://link.chtbl.com/7f_TpEQ6

Phoebe Waller-Bridge - on Fleabag, creativity and learning to trust your own voice https://link.chtbl.com/Vmnz_IXz

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