Margaret Cho - They Told Me I Was Too Fat To Play Myself
How To Fail With Elizabeth Day
Shame, Identity and Early Influences
Margaret Cho reflects on shame, her San Francisco upbringing among gay communities, and how childhood shaped her comic voice.
This episode contains description of addiction, eating disorders and discussion of suicide.
Our guest today is the pioneering comedian, actor and activist Margaret Cho. She began performing comedy as a teenager, opening for Jerry Seinfeld at just 14, before becoming one of the most influential stand-ups of her generation.
Now in her 50s, Margaret reflects in this episode on the cancellation of her groundbreaking sitcom, All-American Girl, and the surreal "miscalculations" of a network that hired consultants to ensure she was "doing Asian right". She speaks candidly about the "mind f***" of being told she was "too fat to play herself", which triggered a dangerous spiral into disordered eating, 90s diet drugs and eventual kidney failure.
She opens up about a suicidal near-death experience that she was initially too afraid to admit even to herself - and about the intervention by friends that finally led her to sobriety.
This conversation explores shame, rage and the life-saving importance of humour. Because, as Margaret says, sometimes laughter can be the thing that keeps you breathing.
✨ IN THIS EPISODE:
00:00 Introduction
04:37 Childhood Reflections
06:59 Political and Social Commentary
10:43 The Sitcom Experience
18:35 Body Image and Health Struggles
26:13 Legacy and Influence
26:54 The Struggle with Diet Culture
28:34 Embarrassing Moments on Stage
32:10 Family Influence on Weight Issues
33:22 Seeking Help and Therapy
34:05 Childhood Abuse and Its Impact
37:27 Battling Drug and Alcohol Addiction
43:09 Intervention and Recovery
46:51 Finding Hope and Happiness
💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:
You carry the otherness with you as a kind of residual suffering that's still there.
Shame is such an electric emotion. It really ignites your history and gets to the core of who you are. I think that's vital as an artist and also it improves your art if you can somehow rise above it.
Humour is really hope. Humour and laughter is the intake of breath, which is the preservation of the body for the next moment.
The more deep work that you do, the more pain you've endured, the more you can share with the world.
🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:
When life is difficult, Samaritans are here – day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123, email them at jo@samaritans.org, or visit www.samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.
Margaret Cho’s Choligarchy Comedy Tour
Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content
Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/
📚 WANT MORE?
Monica Lewinsky - on public shame, misogyny and learning how to reclaim your story after being defined by one moment swap.fm/l/jD3LnWFLZq4jRqSX1yQ9
Lily Allen - on addiction, recovery and rebuilding self-worth under intense public scrutiny https://link.chtbl.com/7f_TpEQ6
Phoebe Waller-Bridge - on Fleabag, creativity and learning to trust your own voice https://link.chtbl.com/Vmnz_IXz
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Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan
Engineer: Matias Torres
Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali
Senior Producer: Joanna Clay
Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot
Executive Producer: Alex Lawless
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