Negotiate Anything The Psychological Tactics Bullies Use — And How to Outsmart Them
Dec 22, 2025
Lucia Kanter St. Amour, an attorney and negotiation expert, dives deep into the tactics bullies use and how to outsmart them. With insights from her book, she shares her personal experiences and emphasizes the importance of building coalitions and understanding emotional dynamics. Lucia discusses practical techniques for confronting bullies, including the value of allies and emotional detachment. Her engaging storytelling offers listeners powerful strategies to navigate and defuse high-pressure interactions with difficult personalities.
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Bullying Is A Societal Pattern
- Bullying is pervasive in adult life and often enabled by cultural systems like capitalism and power imbalances.
- Negotiating with bullies challenges deeper social structures and requires more than individual tactics.
Use Rapport Then Defensive Tactics
- Try rapport and empathy because kindness can disarm a bully who expects hostility.
- If rapport fails, ignore, refuse to give in, know your bottom line, and appear calm and patient.
Adopt Tit‑For‑Tat Then Walk Away
- Use a tit-for-tat approach: cooperate first, retaliate in kind if they defect, then return to cooperation when they do.
- After repeated defections, plan to walk away or prepare for conflict rather than keep negotiating alone.