Raina Cohen, a journalist and author, explores the significance of platonic relationships; Stephanie Yates-Anyabwile, a marriage and family therapist, shares insights on modern relationship challenges; and Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist and expert on single life, challenges societal norms around companionship. They discuss redefining significant others beyond romantic ties, the value of deep friendships during crises, and embracing solitude as a pathway to personal growth. The role of pets as emotional support is also highlighted.
Raina Cohen advocates for broadening the definition of significant relationships to include deep friendships, challenging traditional notions of romantic partnerships.
The podcast discusses the emotional and practical benefits of communal living arrangements that include friends, enhancing support networks beyond conventional family structures.
Deep dives
Exploring Platonic Love
The episode features Raina Cohen, who shares a unique platonic relationship with someone she refers to as M. Their bond rapidly deepened, leading to frequent interactions and shared experiences that were reminiscent of romantic relationships, but without the sexual undertones. This connection prompted Cohen to explore the broader implications of deep friendships and the societal misconceptions surrounding them. Her journey culminated in a bestselling book that encourages readers to celebrate intense platonic friendships as valid and significant forms of love.
Challenging Relationship Norms
Cohen questions the societal expectation that monogamous romantic partnerships should be the ultimate goal in adult life. She argues for the recognition of various forms of significant connections beyond traditional marriage, advocating for the idea that friendships can be immensely fulfilling. By sharing stories of various people who have redefined their relationships, she emphasizes the importance of allowing friendships to occupy spaces typically reserved for romantic partners. This reimagining of relationship norms invites listeners to reflect on the limits they may place on their own connections.
Historical Perspectives on Friendship
Cohen draws on historical examples to illustrate how friendships have been revered in various cultures, often with intense emotional significance akin to romantic partnerships. She highlights practices like sworn brotherhood, which involved rituals solidifying deep bonds among friends that bear resemblance to familial connections. The contrast with contemporary views, where friendships can feel disposable, begs the question of why such emotive connections are less valued today. This historical lens encourages a reconsideration of friendships, suggesting they should be publicly celebrated and acknowledged for their depth and importance.
Reimagining Living Arrangements
In a personal reflection, Cohen shares her living arrangements, which include cohabitating with her husband and close friends, showcasing an alternative family structure that deeply fulfills her. This arrangement reflects a growing trend of communal living, where support networks are expanded beyond traditional partnerships. She emphasizes the emotional and practical benefits of having multiple close people involved in daily life, asserting that it minimizes loneliness and enhances support during tough times. The emphasis on building a life with friends demonstrates a shift towards embracing diverse living situations that fulfill emotional needs beyond conventional marriage.
Finding "the one" can seem like life's ultimate goal—but should it be? This hour, TED speakers expand the definition of life partnership, whether it's with a friend, a spouse, a pet, or no one at all. Guest include journalist Rhaina Cohen, marriage and family therapist Stephanie Yates-Anyabwile, social psychologist Bella DePaulo and photographer Elias Weiss Friedman of "The Dogist."
TED Radio Hour+ subscribers now get access to bonus episodes, with more ideas from TED speakers and a behind the scenes look with our producers. A Plus subscription also lets you listen to regular episodes (like this one!) without sponsors. Sign-up at plus.npr.org/ted.