The 3 Tools You Need to Master Arguments Now, Plus the #1 Way to Diffuse One! With Jefferson Fisher

Jun 10, 2025

Trial lawyer and communication expert Jefferson Fisher shares powerful insights on mastering arguments. He introduces three essential tools for navigating heated discussions and the number one strategy for diffusing conflict. Jefferson emphasizes the importance of emotional control with techniques like 'conversational breath' to maintain composure. He also highlights how embracing self-worth can lead to personal transformation, urging listeners to communicate effectively and positively in every situation.

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ADVICE

Conversational Breath Calms Arguments

Use conversational breath to stay calm and keep your analytical brain engaged during arguments.
Breathe in for 2 seconds, a small extra at the top, then exhale slowly for 5-7 seconds through your nose.

ADVICE

Use Quick Scan to Label Emotions

Practice quick scanning your body for tension points like jaw or shoulders during stress.
Label your emotions to detach from them and regain control in the moment.

ANECDOTE

Jefferson Fisher's Anxiety Epiphany

Jefferson had a panic attack two years ago and initially denied anxiety despite symptoms.
His experience shows how the body keeps stress even when the mind denies it.

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The Body Keeps the Score

Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Bessel van der Kolk

In this book, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma reshapes both the body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores various treatments, including neurofeedback, meditation, sports, drama, and yoga, which activate the brain’s natural neuroplasticity to aid in recovery. The book emphasizes the power of relationships in both causing and healing trauma and offers hope through descriptions of novel approaches to treatment. It is based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists in the field[1][2][5].

The Next Conversation

Argue Less, Talk More

Jefferson Fisher

From communication expert Jefferson Fisher, this book provides immediately actionable strategies and phrases to transform your life and relationships by improving your communication. Fisher, a trial lawyer and leading voice on real-world communication, offers a tried-and-true three-part communication system (Say it with control, Say it with confidence, Say it to connect) that can be applied to any situation. The book teaches how to assert yourself, set boundaries, frame conversations, and overcome conflict with connection, ensuring that your every word has a positive impact on your relationships.

Worthy

How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life

Jamie Kern Lima

In this book, Jamie Kern Lima provides a roadmap for achieving true fulfillment in life by focusing on building self-worth. The book teaches readers how to get unstuck from limiting beliefs, build unshakable self-love, unlearn lies that lead to self-doubt, and embrace truths that enhance worthiness. It offers practical steps to overcome fear of rejection and failure, restore self-confidence, and transform one's own story and identity. The book emphasizes that self-worth is crucial for achieving one's hopes and dreams, and it provides actionable tools and insights to help readers make significant changes in their lives.

Full Video Available on YouTube @JamieKernLimaOfficial. Are You Ready to believe in YOU?🙌 jamiekernlima.com 👈 Sign up for my FREE Inspirational Newsletter here and you’ll ALSO get special prompt questions to help you grow in your self-worth-building that pair with each episode!🩷

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Get ready to learn how to master arguments in your life! You’ve asked for it, And Back by popular demand, Communication Phenom and trial attorney, Jefferson Fisher is here to talk with you and me today about 3 TOOLS you need to help you master arguments and conversations in your life today: Plus the number 1 way to diffuse an argument, and the one phrase that immediately shuts down a toxic conversation!

JEFFERSON FISHER is a trial lawyer, 5th generation award-winning attorney, writer, and speaker whose work has gained him millions of followers all over the world, through short, simple, practical social media videos teaching people how to argue less and talk more. Whether it’s handling a heated conversation, dealing with a difficult personality, or standing your ground with confidence, Jefferson helps you communicate during life's everyday arguments and conversations! His brand-new book, The Next Conversation – Argue Less, Talk More is out now! Jefferson says you can change everything about your life by what you say next! And you and I are in for a treat because Jefferson has stepped away from his busy legal practice to fly here and be with YOU and me today!

And whether you're joining me today for yourself or because someone that you love shared this episode with you, I want to welcome you to the Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast family. And remember this episode is not just for you and me. Please share it with every single person that you know because it can change their life too.

Episode Reflection Questions for YOU: Jamie writes prompt questions each episode to spark revelations in your self-worth journey and help you apply the tools and lessons from each episode into your real life right now. Please make sure you’re signed up for Jamie’s free inspirational newsletter jamiekernlima.com 👈

Get my new book WORTHY plus FREE Bonus gifts including a 95+ page Worthy Workbook and more at WorthyBook.com

Jefferson's new book, The Next Conversation – Argue Less, Talk More, is now available at https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/book.

For more resources related to today’s episode, click here https://jamiekernlima.com/show/ for the podcast episode page.

Chapters:

0:00 Welcome to The Jamie Kern Lima Show

4:05 3 Tools to Stay Calm in Any Argument

9:05 Fight Or Flight

20:25 How Will You Respond?

22:42 Meaningful Small Talk

26:30 Invite To The Argument

It’s such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note: I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

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