Sally Helgesen, a leading authority on women’s leadership and bestselling author, shares her insights on overcoming emotional triggers in the workplace. She reveals how our instinct to vent or internalize can hinder effective responses. Sally emphasizes creating positive scripts and assuming goodwill in interactions, which can transform workplace dynamics. She also discusses the 'authenticity trap' and the importance of balancing authenticity with professionalism. Her practical strategies promote healthier communication and conflict resolution for more inclusive environments.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Managing Triggers
Focus on responding effectively to triggers, rather than trying to control or prevent them.
Practice habits and behaviors that minimize unnecessarily triggering others.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Unheard Ideas
A common trigger for women is when their ideas are ignored, only to be praised when repeated by a man.
This can lead to feelings of being unseen, unheard, and reactive.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Alternate Scripts
Instead of reacting negatively, create an alternate script that explains the situation differently.
This can help shift your perspective and create a more positive response.
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In 'The Female Advantage: Women's Ways of Leadership', Sally Helgesen explores the distinct approaches women bring to leadership, emphasizing their ability to foster creativity, cooperation, and intuitive decision-making. The book presents a web-like organizational structure, contrasting traditional hierarchical models, and showcases successful female leaders who embody these innovative leadership styles.
The female vision
Sally Helgesen
The Female Vision draws on research comparing women's and men's perceptions to illustrate why women's vision can make a significant positive difference in the workplace. It provides practical suggestions for women to increase the recognition and implementation of their vision in organizations, and offers guidelines for companies to incorporate women's insights into strategy and culture.
Rising Together
Sally Helgesen
In 'Rising Together', Sally Helgesen offers practical strategies to bridge divides in the workplace, focusing on behaviors rather than biases. She identifies eight common triggers that hinder collaboration across gender, age, ethnicity, and other boundaries, and provides simple behavioral tweaks and methods to enlist allies and foster inclusivity.
The web of inclusion
Sally Helgesen
In 'The Web of Inclusion', Sally Helgesen presents a compelling case for rethinking traditional organizational hierarchies by adopting a more inclusive and participatory framework. The book explores how companies like Intel, Beth Israel Hospital, and Nickelodeon have successfully implemented such structures to foster innovation and collaboration. It is credited with bringing the language of inclusion into business and was hailed by The Wall Street Journal as one of the best books on leadership.
What Got You Here Won't Get You There
Marshall Goldsmith
This book by Marshall Goldsmith focuses on helping successful individuals recognize and change the behavioral habits that are holding them back from achieving even greater success. Goldsmith identifies 20 common bad habits, such as speaking when angry or adding too much value, and provides a systematic approach to changing these behaviors. He emphasizes that it is not technical skills but behavioral changes that separate the great from the rest. The book offers practical advice on how to eliminate these dysfunctions and improve interpersonal relationships, which is crucial for advancing in one's career and personal life.
The Art of War
Sun Tzu
How Women Rise
Break the 12 Habits Holding You Back
Melvin R. Walther
In 'How Women Rise: Break the 12 Habits Holding You Back,' Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith identify and address the specific habits that can hold women back in their careers. The book provides practical advice and strategies for women to overcome these habits and achieve greater success in their professional lives.
Sally Helgesen: Rising Together
Sally Helgesen has been cited by Forbes as the world’s premier expert on women’s leadership. She is a best-selling author, speaker and leadership coach. She has been named by Thinkers50 as one of the world’s top 20 coaches and ranked number 6 among the world’s thought leaders by Global Gurus. She is the author of several books, including The Female Advantage: Women’s Ways of Leadership and The Female Vision: Women’s Real Power at Work.
Her book The Web of Inclusion: A New Architecture for Building Great Organizations, was cited in The Wall Street Journal as one of the best books on leadership of all time and is credited with bringing the language of inclusion into business. She co-authored How Women Rise, with executive coach Marshall Goldsmith, examining the behaviors most likely to get in the way of successful women. Her newest book is Rising Together: How We Can Bridge Divides and Create a More Inclusive Workplace*.
When we get triggered, our default response tends to be either venting about it to others or suffering in silence. In this conversation, Sally and I explore how to respond in a more useful way. She invites us to consider being less invested in our initial response, creating an alternative script, and finding a path forward to influence different behavior.
Key Points
When we get triggered, our tendency is to either vent about it or suffer in silence.
Being overly invested in our first response limits our ability to respond better. This is the authenticity trap.
Create an alternative, positive script that helps your own mental well-being and precipitates a more helpful action.
Whether the alternative script is true or not isn’t the point. The aim is to find the line between not humiliating the other party and also not letting a poor behavior be unaddressed.
Wisdom from Sun Tzu: indirection or redirection to disarm an opponent is preferable to the direct engagement or combat.
Resources Mentioned
Rising Together: How We Can Bridge Divides and Create a More Inclusive Workplace by Sally Helgesen
Interview Notes
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