Why She Doesn’t Want You (Even If She Loves You) | Adam Lane Smith | The Attachment Specialist

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Jun 14, 2025

Explore the critical balance between love and emotional safety in relationships. Discover how attachment theory can reshape your perspective on connection. Learn about effective communication methods, including the benefits of text messaging for anxious partners. Delve into the importance of rebuilding trust and emotional bonds through consistent positive experiences. Uncover the innovative COO/CEO model for emotional teamwork and the value of vulnerability in conversations. Plus, hear strategies for nurturing a legacy of emotional safety for future generations.

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ADVICE

Weekly Check-Ins Clear The Air

Do weekly 10-15 minute check-ins to clear the air and prevent issues from festering.
Share any feelings or concerns honestly without withholding for emotional safety development.

ADVICE

Share Wins And Challenges Daily

Share daily wins and challenges to increase emotional intimacy and connection.
Focus on solutions and support over complaining during these conversations.

INSIGHT

Trust Builds With Positive Experience

Trust forms through repeated positive bonding experiences rather than logical reasoning.
Men's bonding is driven more by vasopressin, which needs genuine problem-solving interactions to develop.

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In this episode of I Wish You Knew, Adam Lane Smith sits down with Chad and Brittany to explore why love alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship.

Whether you’re in a struggling relationship or trying to understand your partner better, this conversation will challenge the way you see emotional safety, communication, and connection.

Topics Covered:
👉 What led to the breakup: stress, avoidance, and nervous system overload
👉 How attachment theory began to shift their mindset
👉 Adam’s weekly check-in method for emotionally healthy relationships
👉 The rule of not withholding known feelings or concerns
👉 Why text communication helps anxious or overwhelmed partners
👉 How to rebuild trust through consistent positive experiences
👉 The COO/CEO model of emotional teamwork in relationships
👉 What to do when you don’t know how to fix a problem
👉 The importance of asking deeper, more vulnerable questions
👉 Building a legacy of emotional safety for your kids and grandkids
👉 Recognizing and reporting emotional unsafety as a core role in relationships

If you enjoyed watching this episode, you might love 'STOP Doing These 3 Things If You Want Him to Commit'. Watch here: https://youtu.be/vjVI7qgb2G4

Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com

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The next episode drops Thursday :)
See you there.

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