Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

508 - Four Steps to Stop a Conflict Spiral

Dec 3, 2024

Dive into the complexities of conflict spirals in relationships. Discover the STAR method for managing disagreements and the HALT acronym to identify emotional cues. Learn effective communication strategies to break negative patterns and the importance of reconnecting after arguments. Explore how understanding personal triggers can lead to healthier interactions and a more fulfilling partnership. The speakers emphasize the significance of emotional closeness in conflict resolution, providing valuable tools to help couples navigate tricky dynamics.

01:01:43

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Quick takeaways

Conflict spirals can lead to unproductive arguments, highlighting the need for recognizing and breaking these harmful repetitive patterns in relationships.

The STAR framework—Stop, Take a Breath, Approach, and Refocus—provides a systematic approach to soothe oneself and reconnect with a partner during conflict.

Effective communication, including validating feelings and actively listening, is essential for resolving conflicts and preventing future escalations in arguments.

Deep dives

Understanding Conflict Spirals

Conflict spirals can be harmful dynamics that emerge in relationships, often leading to intense arguments that feel unresolvable. These spirals are characterized by repetitive patterns where arguments escalate due to a history of unresolved issues or recurring triggers. For instance, couples may find themselves revisiting disagreements, which can sometimes resurface months after they were initially considered resolved, indicating a lack of closure. Recognizing these patterns is crucial for moving forward, as they often result from both partners not knowing how to break the cycle of conflict.

Intro

3min

Navigating Conflict Dynamics in Relationships

20min

Understanding Neuroplasticity in Relationships

6min

Mastering Conflict with HALT

10min

Navigating Emotional Conflict

8min

The Importance of Reconnection in Conflict Resolution

4min

Navigating Emotional Connections During Conflict Resolution

4min

Navigating Relationship Conflicts: A Structured Approach

2min

Engaging with Conflict Awareness and Community Interaction

2min

Today we're discussing conflict spirals, or what happens when you're arguing with a partner and it's no longer productive, you're exhausted, and you just want things to be over with. We're talking about how to stop that spiraling conflict, soothe yourself, and get back to a place where you can co-regulate with your partner instead of getting trapped in the same spiral again and again.

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.

From 12/13-12/18 get Free 2-day shipping on orders $150+ and an additional 10% off when using our promo code MULTIAMORY10 at OSEA vegan skincare with our #oseapartner

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.

Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

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