The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Surprising Link Between People Pleasing & Your Health: A Medical Doctor’s Recommendation on How to Say “No”
Nov 16, 2023
Dr. Neha Sangwan, an internal medicine physician and bestselling author, discusses the surprising links between people-pleasing and health. She reveals how childhood experiences shape people-pleasing behaviors and how these can lead to stress and illness. The conversation touches on the struggles of asserting oneself and the need for healthy boundaries. Dr. Sangwan also shares a practical three-part framework to help listeners say 'no' when it truly matters, empowering them to prioritize their well-being over others' expectations.
56:44
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Quick takeaways
- Chronic people pleasing can have negative effects on both physical and mental health, leading to stress, burnout, anxiety, and illnesses.
- People pleasing can hinder effective communication and erode one's sense of self, but setting boundaries and prioritizing personal voice and desires can build healthier relationships.
Deep dives
Recognizing the Negative Effects of People Pleasing
People pleasing stems from a desire to feel safe and belong, but it can negatively impact both physical and mental health. Chronic people pleasing leads to stress, burnout, anxiety, and even physical illnesses. The root cause lies in an inability to tolerate discomfort and disappointment. By becoming aware of our role in people pleasing and learning to set boundaries, we can break free from this harmful behavior and regain control of our lives.
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