The To-Do List Trap: Why You Can’t Relax

6 snips

May 7, 2025

Are you stuck in the cycle of never-ending to-do lists? Discover why the mindset of needing to finish tasks before resting only leads to guilt. Explore the psychological barriers that prevent relaxation and learn to reassess your views on rest. Uncover a simple 4-step REST method to help shift your priorities towards intentional relaxation. It's time to establish boundaries and embrace self-care. Simplifying your systems can enhance your mental well-being and create the balance you’ve been craving.

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INSIGHT

The To-Do List Guilt Trap

Feeling guilty for resting before finishing your to-do list is a common cycle.
This guilt prevents you from experiencing true relaxation and peace.

INSIGHT

Why We Feel We Must Earn Rest

Your productivity is often linked to feelings of worth and satisfaction.
Childhood and learned behaviors teach us that rest must be earned by completing tasks.

ANECDOTE

Tati’s Personal Guilt Story

Tati felt guilt even on holidays, unable to relax without inner criticism.
Mindfulness helped her recognize how much her identity was tied to productivity.

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Have you ever told yourself, “Once I finish everything on my list, then I’ll relax”... only to find that the list never actually ends? It’s like you’re chasing the finish line, but it keeps moving further away. And when you do finally pause, instead of feeling peace, you feel guilt—like you haven’t earned your rest yet. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. In this episode, I’m going to help you break that cycle so you can stop waiting for permission to rest and finally start honoring your needs—without the guilt.

In this episode, you will learn:

Why you constantly feel the need to finish everything before you can rest—and why that’s not serving you.
How to identify the emotional patterns and beliefs that keep self-care at the bottom of your list.
A simple, therapist-informed 4-step method to help you shift from productivity guilt to intentional rest and balance.

Mentioned in episode:

How to Set Boundaries with Work: https://www.becalmwithtati.com/work-boundaries/

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Calmly Coping is a self-improvement podcast for high achievers who struggle with high-functioning anxiety to help you feel more calm, balanced, and confident from within.

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🎓 Free 3-day Course: How To Calm Your Mind So You Can Finally Relax: https://calmlycoping.com/relax

💬 Submit a message, question, or suggestion to the podcast: https://calmlycoping.com/message

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Want more?

👩🏽‍💻 Work with me: My mission is to help you decrease your anxiety, declutter your mind, and say hello to a life of calm and balance. Learn more about my coaching, therapy, and course offerings here: https://becalmwithtati.com/work-with-me

👥 Join the Calmly Coping Group: The free supportive community for high-achievers with high-functioning anxiety. Join Today: https://www.facebook.com/groups/CalmlyCoping

📝 Take the Free High-Functioning Anxiety Quiz: http://hfaquiz.com

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My favorite tools:

🧘🏽‍♀️ Mindfulness Meditation App*: https://mindfulnesscom-partner-program.pxf.io/x97kyd

✅ Todoist To-Do List App*: https://get.todoist.io/8e7o0ay8n081

🕊️ Moonbird (Handheld Breathing Coach)*: https://calmlycoping.com/moonbird

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Say hi on social:

🔗 Website: https://becalmwithtati.com/

📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/tatianaglpc

💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tatianaglpc/

📌 Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/tatianaglpc

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Intro/Outro Music: Rescue Me (Instrumental) by Aussens@iter (c) copyright 2018 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/tobias_weber/57990 Ft: Copperhead

Disclaimer

All content here is for informational purposes only. This content does not replace the professional judgment of your own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health professional for all individual questions and issues.

*Links included in these show notes may be affiliate links. This means that I may earn a small commission for purchases made using these links (at no additional cost to you). All products that I share are products I use, love, and recommend.