Good Conflict | Amanda Ripley | An Episode From “On Being”
Nov 17, 2023
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Amanda Ripley, writer and journalist, discusses the concept of high conflict and the importance of healthy conflict. They explore the influence of childhood stories on our perspective, recognize multiple identities, and break free from high conflict. They also dive into the complexity of conflicts and the trap of simplification. The counterintuitive nature of handling high conflict and conflict resolution techniques on the bus are also covered.
Healthy conflict allows for personal growth, challenges perspectives, and fosters understanding.
High conflict distorts reality, hinders progress, and fosters suspicion, fear, and anger.
Trust is crucial in resolving conflicts, achieved through active listening, open-ended questions, and safe spaces for dialogue.
Deep dives
Importance of Healthy Conflict
Conflict, when approached in a healthy manner, is necessary and productive. It allows for personal growth, challenges our perspectives, and fosters understanding and connection. Good conflict is essential in addressing complex issues and bringing about positive change.
The Dangers of High Conflict
High conflict, characterized by extreme polarization and unproductive arguments, is detrimental to individuals and society. It distorts reality, collapses complexity, and fosters suspicion, fear, and anger. Engaging in high conflict prevents meaningful dialogue and hinders progress in resolving conflicts.
Building Trust and Reconciliation
Trust is a critical element in resolving conflicts and building meaningful relationships. Acknowledging the humanity of others, active listening, asking open-ended questions, and creating safe spaces for dialogue are effective strategies for fostering trust and reconciliation.
The Power of Curiosity and Complexity
Embracing curiosity and complexity in our conversations and storytelling can help break through the barriers of high conflict. By asking deeper questions, exploring diverse perspectives, and amplifying nuanced narratives, we can challenge simplistic narratives and foster understanding and empathy.
Hope and Faith in Resolving Conflict
Resolving conflicts requires hope, faith, and a belief in the possibility of positive change. While some conflicts may seem insurmountable, we must always strive to engage in good conflict and work towards reconciliation, even when faced with adversity.
Today we are dropping down our feed a conversation that I listened to recently that had a huge impact on me. It's from a great show that I'm sure many of you have heard of, On Being with Krista Tippett. It's been around for decades, and it explores the question of what it means to be human, how to do life better, how to live with each other in complex times.
Krista Tippett is a recent friend of mine, somebody who I have long admired and really, like – she was on the show just recently. They've got a new season of their show going right now, over on the On Being feed, which I highly recommend you check out. They're doing episodes on the intelligence of the human body, what AI might be calling us to as human beings, and much more.
They've also got a 20 year archive of conversations with people like Mary Oliver, John O'Donohue, and Desmond Tutu, which is pretty extraordinary. And this conversation, which, as I mentioned earlier, has had a big impact on me seems unfortunately quite relevant. It's about conflict and how to do it right: the difference between healthy conflict, which is an unavoidable part of life, and high conflict, which we see all around us these days, but which is avoidable.