Sandra Sucher, a Harvard Business School professor and expert on trust, dives into the art of sincere apologies. She outlines three key elements needed for an effective apology, emphasizing responsibility, explanation, and repair. The conversation also explores the power paradox leaders face, where authority can diminish empathy. Sucher further discusses the importance of follow-through to restore trust and highlights how genuine apologies can transform workplace relationships. Listeners gain insights on navigating difficult conversations and enhancing their leadership skills.
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The Importance of Apologies
Apologizing is crucial for trust restoration, especially in business.
Acknowledge mistakes and express regret to rebuild trust.
insights INSIGHT
Myth of Avoiding Apologies
A common business myth is avoiding apologies to prevent liability.
However, acknowledging responsibility is key to regaining trust.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Expressing Regret
Expressing regret is crucial for rebuilding trust.
Saying "I'm sorry" shows empathy and acknowledges the impact of mistakes.
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Based on two decades of research, Sandra J. Sucher and Shalene Gupta examine the economic impact of trust and its science, proving that trust is built from the inside out. They illustrate how trust can be woven into daily operations and long-term strategies, and how it can be regained even after being lost. The book highlights the importance of being the 'real deal' by creating effective products, having good intentions, treating people fairly, and taking responsibility for all impacts.
The power paradox
How We Gain and Lose Influence
Dacher Keltner
In 'The Power Paradox', Dacher Keltner challenges conventional wisdom on power by demonstrating that it is not acquired through domination or coercion, but rather through compassion and selflessness. The book explains how people gain power by enhancing the lives of others and how the experience of having power can lead to its abuse. Keltner outlines twenty 'Power Principles' to help retain power and avoid its corrupting influences. He emphasizes that enduring power comes from a focus on others and that power is given by groups to individuals who advance the greater good. The book also explores the personal and social ills associated with powerlessness and provides recommendations for nurturing and maintaining healthy power[2][3][4].
Sandra Sucher: The Power of Trust
Sandra Sucher is an internationally recognized trust researcher and professor of management practice at Harvard Business School. She studies how organizations build trust and the vital role leaders play in the process. Before joining Harvard, she was a business executive for 20 years, served on corporate and nonprofit boards, and has been Chair of the Better Business Bureau.
As an advisor to the Edelman Trust Barometer, her research has been featured in several national publications. She is the author with Shalene Gupta of the book, The Power of Trust: How Companies Build It, Lose It, Regain It*.
In this conversation, Sandra and I explore the three elements of a good apology in the professional setting. We also look at additional elements the research suggests may be useful in many places in our lives. Finally, Sandra highlights some ways we can do better on empathy in order to avoid situations where we destroy trust.
Key Points
Combine three elements for a good apology, especially in a professional setting:
Acknowledgment of responsibility: The offender makes a statement that demonstrates they understand their part in the trust betrayal.
Explanation: The offender describes the reasons for the problem.
Offer of repair: The offender offers a solution for rebuilding trust.
In addition, consider three more elements for apologies in any scenario:
Expression of regret: The offender expresses how sorry they are.
Declaration of repentance: The offender promises not to make the same mistake again.
Request for forgiveness: The offender explicitly asks for pardon.
To interrupt the reality that leaders tend to struggle with empathy:
Reflect in writing with as much detail as possible about the people and situation in question.
Ask yourself, “Am I being fair?”
Resources Mentioned
The Power of Trust: How Companies Build It, Lose It, Regain It* by Sandra Sucher and Shalene Gupta
The Power of Trust website
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
Use Power for Good and Not Evil, with Dacher Keltner (episode 254)
The Choice for Compassion, with Edith Eger (episode 336)
The Way Into Difficult Conversations, with Kwame Christian (episode 497)
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