535: The Art of Constructing Apologies, with Sandra Sucher

Jul 12, 2021

Sandra Sucher, a Harvard Business School professor and expert on trust, dives into the art of sincere apologies. She outlines three key elements needed for an effective apology, emphasizing responsibility, explanation, and repair. The conversation also explores the power paradox leaders face, where authority can diminish empathy. Sucher further discusses the importance of follow-through to restore trust and highlights how genuine apologies can transform workplace relationships. Listeners gain insights on navigating difficult conversations and enhancing their leadership skills.

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ADVICE

The Importance of Apologies

Apologizing is crucial for trust restoration, especially in business.
Acknowledge mistakes and express regret to rebuild trust.

INSIGHT

Myth of Avoiding Apologies

A common business myth is avoiding apologies to prevent liability.
However, acknowledging responsibility is key to regaining trust.

ADVICE

Expressing Regret

Expressing regret is crucial for rebuilding trust.
Saying "I'm sorry" shows empathy and acknowledges the impact of mistakes.

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Sandra Sucher: The Power of Trust Sandra Sucher is an internationally recognized trust researcher and professor of management practice at Harvard Business School. She studies how organizations build trust and the vital role leaders play in the process. Before joining Harvard, she was a business executive for 20 years, served on corporate and nonprofit boards, and has been Chair of the Better Business Bureau. As an advisor to the Edelman Trust Barometer, her research has been featured in several national publications. She is the author with Shalene Gupta of the book, The Power of Trust: How Companies Build It, Lose It, Regain It*. In this conversation, Sandra and I explore the three elements of a good apology in the professional setting. We also look at additional elements the research suggests may be useful in many places in our lives. Finally, Sandra highlights some ways we can do better on empathy in order to avoid situations where we destroy trust. Key Points Combine three elements for a good apology, especially in a professional setting: Acknowledgment of responsibility: The offender makes a statement that demonstrates they understand their part in the trust betrayal. Explanation: The offender describes the reasons for the problem. Offer of repair: The offender offers a solution for rebuilding trust. In addition, consider three more elements for apologies in any scenario: Expression of regret: The offender expresses how sorry they are. Declaration of repentance: The offender promises not to make the same mistake again. Request for forgiveness: The offender explicitly asks for pardon. To interrupt the reality that leaders tend to struggle with empathy: Reflect in writing with as much detail as possible about the people and situation in question. Ask yourself, “Am I being fair?” Resources Mentioned The Power of Trust: How Companies Build It, Lose It, Regain It* by Sandra Sucher and Shalene Gupta The Power of Trust website Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes Use Power for Good and Not Evil, with Dacher Keltner (episode 254) The Choice for Compassion, with Edith Eger (episode 336) The Way Into Difficult Conversations, with Kwame Christian (episode 497) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.