Hidden Brain

Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

Apr 21, 2025

Liane Young, a psychologist and neuroscientist, discusses the fascinating concept of 'theory of mind'—the ability to understand what others are thinking. She explains how this cognitive skill develops in children and shapes our moral judgments, often leading to misunderstandings. Fred Luskin, an expert on forgiveness, answers listener questions about grudges, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and open communication. He illustrates how releasing grudges can pave the way for personal peace and healthier relationships.

01:26:19

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Episode guests

Fred Luskin

Liane Young

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Episode notes

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

The theory of mind enables individuals to understand others' intentions, profoundly influencing social interactions and cognitive development from childhood.

Children develop the ability to differentiate others' beliefs from reality between ages three and five, illustrated by tests like the Sally-Ann task.

Social contexts significantly shape moral judgments, as behavior interpretations can vary based on whether the actors are in-group or out-group.

Deep dives

Understanding Intentions

The capacity to read the intentions of others, known as theory of mind, plays a crucial role in social interactions. This cognitive skill allows individuals to interpret actions, engage in relationships, and navigate their social worlds effectively. For example, in the movie Mrs. Doubtfire, the humor relies on understanding that the character Daniel, disguised as a nanny, has his own agenda to prevent his ex-wife from dating. Without the ability to discern these layered intentions, the scene's humor would be lost, illustrating how our understanding of others shapes our interactions.

Intro

4min

Understanding Perspective: Theory of Mind in Storytelling

11min

Navigating Intentions: The Brain's Role in Understanding Others

3min

Moral Judgment and Intent

19min

Interpreting Intentions: The Masks We Wear

3min

Interpreting Intentions in Political Discourse

6min

Understanding Grudges and Forgiveness in Relationships

4min

Memory, Grudges, and Workplace Dynamics

4min

Navigating Forgiveness and Grudges

27min

10.

The Complexity of Forgiveness and Its Impact on Relationships

6min

As we go through life, we’re constantly trying to figure out what other people are thinking and feeling. Psychologist Liane Young says this ability to assess other people’s thoughts is an extraordinary feat of cognition. This week, in a favorite episode from our archives, we explore this mental superpower — and how it can lead us astray.

In our conversation with Liane Young, we explore:

*The uniquely human ability to think about the minds of other people, which scientists refer to as "theory of mind."

*How and when young children develop this ability to intuit what's happening in other people's minds.

*Why our understanding of other people's minds affects our moral judgments — and how those judgments can be disabled.

*How misreading another person's intentions can affect our lives in both small and significant ways.

Then, in the second part of this week's show, we welcome back researcher Fred Luskin, who responds to listeners' questions about grudges. If you missed the original conversation with Fred Luskin, listen to our episode No Hard Feelings.

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Hidden Brain

Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

Understanding Intentions

Development of Theory of Mind

Consequences of Misreading Intentions

Impact of Social Context on Judgments

The Role of Brain Function in Understanding Intent

Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts