Coaching for Leaders 380: How to Find Confidence in Conflict, with Kwame Christian
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Nov 12, 2018 Kwame Christian, a business lawyer, shares insights on finding confidence in conflict. He discusses the breakdown of communication, steps of compassionate curiosity, and strategies for successful negotiations. The episode highlights the importance of acknowledging emotions, using open-ended questions, and transitioning smoothly between emotions and problem-solving. Kwame's practical advice and expert knowledge provide valuable tools for managing difficult conversations and negotiations.
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Childhood Loneliness Shapes Approach
- Kwame Christian shared how in first grade he was excluded from play and felt lonely, inspiring him to befriend everyone as a defense against loneliness.
- This strength later caused him difficulty standing up for himself in conflicts due to fear of losing friendships.
Leverage Key Points Strategically
- In tennis, not all points have equal value; winning crucial points determines match outcome rather than total points.
- Similarly, in negotiations, identify key moments to assert yourself and win, while conceding less critical points.
Frame, Pace, and Direction Matter
- Communication breakdowns in difficult conversations often stem from issues with the frame, pace, or direction.
- Identifying and managing these three factors can prevent conversations from becoming unproductive or hurtful.