There are four core regrets that keep coming up: foundation regrets (not saving money, neglecting health), boldness regrets (not taking chances), moral regrets (doing the wrong thing), and connection regrets (not reaching out in relationships).
Regret can be a useful tool for younger people to motivate them to make better decisions in the future, but as people get older, holding onto regrets can have harmful effects and diminish the quality of life.
Deep dives
The Four Core Regrets
Regret is a misunderstood emotion that can actually make us better if treated properly. The speaker collected 16,000 regrets from people in 105 countries, and found that there are four core regrets that keep coming up: foundation regrets (not saving money, neglecting health), boldness regrets (not taking chances), moral regrets (doing the wrong thing), and connection regrets (not reaching out in relationships). These regrets reveal what people value most in life: stability, the opportunity for growth and adventure, doing the right thing, and meaningful connections.
Usefulness of Regret
Regret can be a useful tool for younger people to motivate them to make better decisions in the future. Research suggests that regret can help with gaining insights into past experiences, facilitating approach behaviors, facilitating avoidance behaviors, gaining insights into the self, and preserving social harmony. However, as people get older, holding onto regrets can have harmful effects and diminish the quality of life. Letting go of regrets becomes crucial for emotional health as we age.
Handling Regret
Handling regret comes down to two simple questions: Can we actually change what we regret? If not, are we better off appreciating the lesson, letting go, and moving on? It is a personal choice to learn from regret or let it crush us. Regret can teach us valuable lessons, but we also have the power to choose whether it defines us or sets us free.
Regret is one of our most powerful emotions -- and also one of the most misunderstood. Over the past two years, author Daniel H. Pink has collected a trove of more than 16,000 regrets from people in 105 countries in an effort to better understand this mysterious emotion. He shares the key patterns that emerged (it all boils down to the same four core regrets, he says) and explains how to transform your own regrets in order to create the life you've always wanted to live. This talk and conversation, hosted by TED current affairs curator Whitney Pennington Rodgers, was part of an exclusive TED Membership event. Hear more from our host Shoshana at the end of the episode on what regret can teach us -- and when it's time to let it go.