TED Talks Daily Even healthy couples fight — the difference is how | Julie and John Gottman
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Jun 11, 2024 
In this enlightening discussion, renowned psychologists Julie and John Gottman, co-founders of the Gottman Institute, delve into the intricacies of couples' conflicts. They reveal that how partners argue can significantly impact relationship success. The Gottmans introduce various fighting styles and the surprising benefits of conflict, emphasizing that well-managed disagreements can foster intimacy. Listeners gain valuable strategies for transforming conflicts into opportunities for deeper connection, and learn about the essential communication techniques to enhance relationship health.
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Predictive Power of Fights
- How couples fight predicts their relationship's future.
- The first three minutes of a conflict are especially telling, with 96% accuracy over six years.
Healthy Conflict
- Fighting itself isn't bad for relationships; it's how couples fight that matters.
- Some conflict can even strengthen connection and intimacy.
The Love Lab
- The Gottmans studied 3,000 couples in their Love Lab, monitoring physiological responses during conflicts.
- They tracked these couples for up to 20 years to observe long-term relationship patterns.