
TED Talks Daily
Even healthy couples fight — the difference is how | Julie and John Gottman
Jun 11, 2024
In this enlightening discussion, renowned psychologists Julie and John Gottman, co-founders of the Gottman Institute, delve into the intricacies of couples' conflicts. They reveal that how partners argue can significantly impact relationship success. The Gottmans introduce various fighting styles and the surprising benefits of conflict, emphasizing that well-managed disagreements can foster intimacy. Listeners gain valuable strategies for transforming conflicts into opportunities for deeper connection, and learn about the essential communication techniques to enhance relationship health.
18:53
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Quick takeaways
- How couples fight predicts relationship future, not absence of conflict.
- Recognizing 'four horsemen' and flooding crucial for maintaining healthy relationships.
Deep dives
Importance of Healthy Conflict in Relationships
In the podcast, it is highlighted that fighting in relationships is not necessarily bad, but how couples fight is crucial. The research conducted by psychologists John and Julie Gottman shows that how couples engage in the first three minutes of a conflict discussion predicts the future of the relationship with high accuracy. The key takeaway is that it's not the absence of conflict that defines relationship success but the way conflicts are managed.
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