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TED Talks Daily

Even healthy couples fight — the difference is how | Julie and John Gottman

Jun 11, 2024
Renowned relationship scientists Julie and John Gottman discuss how the way couples fight can predict the future of their relationships. They emphasize the importance of healthy conflict resolution, emotional regulation, empathy, and repair attempts in maintaining strong relationships.
18:53

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Quick takeaways

  • How couples fight predicts relationship future, not absence of conflict.
  • Recognizing 'four horsemen' and flooding crucial for maintaining healthy relationships.

Deep dives

Importance of Healthy Conflict in Relationships

In the podcast, it is highlighted that fighting in relationships is not necessarily bad, but how couples fight is crucial. The research conducted by psychologists John and Julie Gottman shows that how couples engage in the first three minutes of a conflict discussion predicts the future of the relationship with high accuracy. The key takeaway is that it's not the absence of conflict that defines relationship success but the way conflicts are managed.

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