Best of Design Matters: Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.

Feb 3, 2025

Emily Nagoski, a New York Times bestselling author and educator, dives into the intricacies of sexual connection and intimacy. She shares insights from her career and new book, "Come Together," emphasizing the need for vulnerability and authentic communication in relationships. The discussion tackles the distinction between desire and pleasure, redefining sexual motivation, and navigating body image. Nagoski encourages intentional intimacy, highlighting how shared pleasure trumps maintaining initial attraction, making for deeper emotional bonds.

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ANECDOTE

New Book on Lasting Sexual Connections

Emily Nagoski's book Come As You Are helped people understand sex and feel less critical of their bodies.
Now she's back with a new book, Come Together, about creating lasting sexual connections.

ANECDOTE

Nagoggles Puppet

Nagoski uses a puppet of herself, Nagoggles, on TikTok to answer sex questions.
The puppet adds humor and whimsy, making the topic less intimidating.

ANECDOTE

Unexpected Career Path

Despite coming from a family of artists, Nagoski pursued psychology.
She chose the major pragmatically to graduate faster.

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The Collected Works of Nabokov

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Vladimir Nabokov

While not a single book, "The Collected Works of Nabokov" encompasses the vast literary output of the renowned author. His works are known for their intricate plots, complex characters, and masterful use of language. Themes of obsession, memory, and the unreliable narrator frequently appear. Nabokov's style is characterized by wit, irony, and a profound understanding of human psychology. His most famous work, "Lolita," remains controversial but is considered a masterpiece of 20th-century literature.

Come Together

Emily Nagoski

Emily Nagoski's "Come Together" delves into the complexities of sex and long-term relationships, challenging traditional norms and offering insights into diverse relationship structures and gender combinations. The book explores the impact of societal expectations and power dynamics on intimacy and satisfaction. It provides practical advice and tools for navigating challenges and fostering healthier connections. Nagoski's work emphasizes the importance of communication, emotional intelligence, and self-awareness in building fulfilling relationships. The book is a valuable resource for individuals and couples seeking to enhance their understanding of intimacy and connection.

Come as you are

the surprising new science that will transform your sex life

Emily Nagoski

Blanca González Villegas

In 'Come as You Are', Emily Nagoski and Blanca González Villegas delve into the latest scientific research on human sexuality, offering insights and practical advice to improve sexual well-being. The book addresses various aspects of sex, including desire, arousal, and the complexities of sexual response, aiming to help readers understand and enhance their sexual experiences.

Burnout

The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

Emily Nagoski

Amelia Nagoski

This book, written by sisters Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, delves into the specific challenges women encounter with burnout. It provides a comprehensive, science-based approach to reducing stress and enhancing well-being. The authors define burnout as a combination of emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and a decreased sense of accomplishment, and they offer practical solutions such as completing the biological stress cycle, managing emotional triggers, and overcoming societal pressures. The book is divided into sections that explain the stress cycle, the impact of cultural norms on women's stress levels, and strategies for rest, human connection, and self-compassion. It includes helpful worksheets and exercises to empower women to combat burnout and achieve genuine wellness[1][3][5].