Embrace pleasure and prioritize desire by shedding societal expectations and balancing masculine and feminine energies.
Challenge slut-shaming culture, support each other in expressing desires, and break free from societal expectations.
Reframe envy as a positive force, learn from successful 'expanders,' and pursue personal fulfillment.
Deep dives
Embracing Pleasure and Prioritizing Desire
The podcast episode explores the importance of embracing pleasure and prioritizing desire. The speaker highlights the sacredness of pleasure and challenges the societal teachings that often prioritize women's desirability over their own desires. The guest author, Elise Loonan, discusses her book, which delves into the cultural forces that shape women's desires and the shame attached to wanting something. The episode explores ways to liberate ourselves from societal expectations and improve our sex lives and overall well-being by balancing masculine and feminine energies, shedding sexual shame, and embracing our bodies as portals to desire.
The Impact of Shame and Internalized Patriarchy
The podcast episode delves into the impact of shame and internalized patriarchy on women's sense of desire. The conversation highlights how women's desires have often been suppressed and how shame plays a role in inhibiting their ability to fully embrace their desires. The episode explores the societal policing of women's sexuality, the slut-shaming culture, and the complex dynamics of envy and jealousy among women. It challenges the notion that expressing desires is shameful and encourages women to explore their own desires and support each other in breaking free from societal expectations.
Transforming Envy into Inspiration and Empowerment
The podcast episode emphasizes the transformative power of envy as a tool for self-discovery and growth. It encourages listeners to reframe envy as a positive force that highlights their own desires and aspirations. The episode discusses the concept of expanders, individuals who inspire and teach us through their achievements and experiences. By studying and supporting these expanders, women can learn from their success and begin to believe in their own potential. It challenges the scarcity mindset and the notion that there is only space for one woman's success, empowering women to use envy and inspiration to pursue their own dreams and create a sense of fulfillment.
The Need to Prioritize Personal Desire and Intuition
The podcast episode discusses the importance of women leaning into their desire and intuition, and the obstacles they face in doing so. It emphasizes how women are often conditioned to prioritize other people's needs over their own and the detrimental effects this has on their sexuality. The episode explores the idea of reversing this conditioning and allowing women's wants and needs to come forward, as well as the importance of letting their partners serve those needs. Overall, it highlights the need for women to prioritize their own desires and break free from societal expectations.
The Role of Anger, Aggression, and Healthy Conflict in Relationships
The podcast delves into the topics of anger, aggression, and healthy conflict in relationships. It highlights how women's anger is often suppressed and how this affects their ability to express their boundaries and needs in relationships. The episode emphasizes the importance of allowing anger to surface and addressing it constructively, as well as the need for open communication and setting clear expectations. It also explores the concept of balancing masculine and feminine energies within relationships and the importance of giving space for the masculine to step in. Overall, it encourages women to work on processing their anger, engaging in healthy conflict, and finding a balance between assertiveness and receptivity in their relationships.
Author Elise Loehnen has thought a lot about women and desire. In her new book On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good, she breaks down the cultural forces that teach women to be desirable rather than desiring, and the shame attached to a woman wanting something: whether it’s sex, success, or a damn slice of pizza. Whether it’s lust, and the way we encourage women to police others' sexuality, or sloth, and the way women are encouraged to be their husbands' caregivers, these invisible expectations serve none of us. Instead, Elise talks about ways we can liberate ourselves in ways that improve our sex lives and beyond: how to balance masculine and feminine energies in relationships, how to shed sexual shame, and so much more. As Elise says, “Our bodies are portals; lust is the invitation to enter.”
Please note that this episode includes discussions of sexual trauma. If you would like to skip these portions of the episode, please skip through:
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