8 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Turned 30

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Sep 19, 2025

Reflecting on pivotal life lessons, Jay shares the biggest shifts he wishes he'd embraced earlier. He discusses the spotlight effect, revealing how little others actually notice us. The importance of discipline over fleeting motivation is emphasized, alongside recognizing old fears as echoes of the past. Jay explores how true growth means finding meaningful connections and preventing burnout through purpose. He encourages small, intentional choices to shape our future, reminding us that every season is temporary and peace arises from living meaningfully.

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INSIGHT

Nobody's Watching As Much As You Think

We overestimate how much others notice or judge us because of the spotlight effect.
Most people are preoccupied with their own insecurities, not critiquing you.

INSIGHT

Busy Is Not The Same As Effective

Being busy feels valuable due to the effort heuristic, but effort doesn't equal impact.
Measure work by outcomes and results, not hours logged.

INSIGHT

Smaller Circles, Deeper Connection

Social circles shrink as we prioritize depth over breadth, a natural developmental shift.
Losing friends often reflects growth and better emotional prioritization, not betrayal.

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What’s the biggest shift you wish you’d made sooner?

What advice would you give your younger self before 30?

In this special reflection, Jay opens up about the lessons he wishes he’d known before turning 30, insights that could have spared him time, energy, and unnecessary stress. Now, at 38, he shares eight counterintuitive truths from psychology and human behavior that have reshaped the way he lives, loves, and works.

From realizing that people think about us far less than we imagine, to understanding that burnout comes more from a lack of meaning than from long hours, Jay invites us to reexamine the subtle habits and hidden fears that quietly drain our lives.

These aren’t just ideas, they’re practical tools to help you stop overthinking, release old fears, and make choices that align with the life you truly want.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How to Rely on Discipline Over Motivation

How to See Most Fears as Echoes of the Past

How to Use Belonging to Fuel Lasting Change

How to Prevent Burnout by Finding Meaning

How to Stop Your Brain From Distorting the Future

Growth isn’t about waiting for the “right” moment—it’s about shifting how we see ourselves and the choices we make daily. The lessons Jay shares are powerful reminders that every season, good or bad, is temporary, and that true peace comes from living a life of meaning, not perfection.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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What We Discuss:

00:00 Introduction

00:55 Are They Really Thinking About You?

04:26 Being Busy Doesn’t Always Mean Productive

07:33 Depth Over Breadth

11:04 Discipline Is Easier Than Motivation

14:14 Fear Is Just the Past on Repeat

18:27 You Are Who You Surround Yourself With

23:14 Are You Experiencing Burnout?

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