Good Life Project The Science of Better Relationships: 3 Experts Share What Really Works | Spotlight Convo
6 snips
Aug 28, 2025 
In this insightful conversation, guests include Julie and John Gottman, famed relationship researchers with over 50 years of experience, Yung Pueblo, an author emphasizing self-awareness and meditation, and Danielle Bayard Jackson, a female friendship expert. They discuss what truly makes relationships thrive—highlighting that conflict can be navigated positively. Listeners gain practical tools for building stronger connections, the transformative power of love, and the significance of nurturing friendships, especially among women.
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Positive-Emotion Cushion
- John Gottman found happy couples maintain a 5:1 positive-to-negative ratio during conflict and 20:1 in everyday interactions.
- That positive cushion lets couples exit negativity instead of getting pulled into it.
Meet Bids For Connection
- Notice and respond to small bids for connection frequently; masters turned toward bids 86% of the time.
- Practice simple acknowledgments like 'wow' or 'uh-huh' to build trust and increase bids.
Four Toxic Interaction Patterns
- The Four Horsemen are communication patterns that predict relationship decline: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.
- Contempt is especially destructive and even correlates with poorer immune function in the listener.
