Growth Mindset Psychology: The Science of Self-Improvement

12 Questions For Meaningful Relationships - How to go deep w/ Topaz Azides

Sep 26, 2025

Topaz Azides, an Emmy-winning director known for The And and Skin Deep, discusses his innovative '12 Questions for Love' framework developed from analyzing over 1,200 couples. He emphasizes the importance of asking meaningful questions to foster deep connections and personal growth. Topaz reveals how our brains are wired to respond, shares tips for creating safe spaces for vulnerability, and encourages reframing conflicts constructively. He highlights daily habits for relationship maintenance and the necessity of embracing change to keep love alive.

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INSIGHT

We Are Answering Machines

Humans are 'answering machines' who rush to respond to the prompt in front of them.
Changing the question often changes the answer and the experience you create.

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ANECDOTE

From Skepticism To Tears

Topaz described guiding 1,200 couples over ten years to build his 12-question experience.
Sam admitted skepticism, then was moved to tears watching the conversations.

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ADVICE

Design The Conversation Architecture

Design the architecture of conversations intentionally to shape the journey you want.
Choose spaces and leaders that hold the balance needed for depth and safety.

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Growth Mindset and Leaning Into Discomfort

04:27 • 34sec

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Designing Questions from a Director's Perspective

05:00 • 3min

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Creating Space Before Asking Deep Questions

07:44 • 1min

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Authenticity Over Performance in Conversations

09:07 • 3min

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Crafting Wording to Invite Opinion Not Argument

12:35 • 3min

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Embracing Imperfection to Encourage Honesty

15:11 • 6min

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Deep Non-Relationship Questions to Illuminate Blind Spots

21:09 • 5min

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Question Loops to Clarify Motivation

26:38 • 2min

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Chapters of Life and Embracing Change

28:56 • 3min

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Serving the Audience: Intentional Interviewing

31:54 • 7min

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How the 12 Questions Address Conflict Constructively

38:26 • 2min

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Cultural and Generational Differences in Vulnerability

Daily Habits to Sustain Deep Relationships

43:15 • 2min

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Keep Relationships Flexible Like a Practice Routine

45:08 • 2min

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Modeling Emotion and Repair for Children

46:53 • 1min

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Reframing Worry into Agency

48:23 • 3min

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Future Projects: Peace Questions and Neuroscience Research

51:27 • 2min

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Host Reflection and Recommendation to Try the 12 Questions

• Mentioned in 6 episodes

12 Questions for Love

Topaz Adizes

Sonya Renee Taylor

• Mentioned in 934 episodes

Atomic Habits

James Clear

Atomic Habits by James Clear provides a practical and scientifically-backed guide to forming good habits and breaking bad ones. The book introduces the Four Laws of Behavior Change: make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy, and make it satisfying. It also emphasizes the importance of small, incremental changes (atomic habits) that compound over time to produce significant results. Clear discusses techniques such as habit stacking, optimizing the environment to support desired habits, and focusing on continuous improvement rather than goal fixation. The book is filled with actionable strategies, real-life examples, and stories from various fields, making it a valuable resource for anyone seeking to improve their habits and achieve personal growth.

You know that Stupid questions = Stupid answers. It's the same for boring questions. If you want to live a meaningful life with space for personal growth and connection with those around you.

The answer is fantastic questions.

Questions that help you understand yourself better and your partner.

Questions that lead to conversations where you really see each other deep down at a human to human level.

Topaz Azides, is an Emmy-winning director who spent a decade analyzing 1,200 couples to understand why some thrive while others stall. He discovered that humans are "answering machines"—we can't help but respond to the prompt in front of us. He crafted 12 questions that act like rocket fuel for connection, moving you from small talk to the conversations you're secretly desperate to have. This isn’t about cheesy one-liners; it's a practical framework for reframing your mindset:

Learn why our brains are hardwired to answer any question, and how to use this quirk for psychology-driven growth.
Discover how to use arguments to build psychological resilience and make your relationship stronger, not break it.
Embrace the idea that every moment is unique and discover how to treat it that way, fostering cognitive flexibility in your interactions.

Topaz Azides

Get the book: https://www.topazadizes.com/book

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