The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett Secret Service Agent: Never Label Someone A Narcissist! This Habit Makes People Hate Talking To You!
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Dec 1, 2025 
Desmond O'Neill, a former US Secret Service special agent with three decades of experience in negotiation and interrogation, shares insights on communication and connection. He discusses the detrimental effects of labeling others, particularly as narcissists, which hinders understanding. Desmond introduces his 4-step PLAN framework for navigating difficult conversations and emphasizes the importance of active listening, empathy, and clarity. He also debunks myths about gaslighting and stresses the significance of preserving composure in conflicts to build trust.
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Set A Single Purpose Before Hard Talks
- Before any difficult conversation, set a clear purpose so your mission guides your tactics and keeps you anchored.
- Use that purpose to decide whether to correct, preserve dignity, or walk away when emotions rise.
Listen To Control The Conversation
- Listen actively by narrowing your cognitive bandwidth and resisting the urge to prepare your reply while the other speaks.
- Control conversations by listening more and using body-language cues to ask clarifying questions.
36 Hours With A Serial Offender
- Desmond spent multiple days interviewing serial offender Philip Garrido to understand his mindset and test consistency over time.
- His persistent daily engagement revealed truthful patterns and led investigators away from a false suspect.
