621: Rachel Botsman - Being Comfortable with Uncertainty, Giving Trust Before It's Earned, Being on Time, Giving Great Keynotes, & How To Trust and Be Trusted

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Feb 10, 2025

Rachel Botsman, a leading expert on trust and author of three bestselling books, dives deep into the dynamics of trust in today’s world. She emphasizes the importance of leading with trust, arguing it fosters a highly attractive team environment. Botsman discusses mastering public speaking by engaging the audience and overcoming nerves. She also highlights how consistency and punctuality build reliability in relationships. Lastly, she advocates for a holistic hiring approach that values character as much as competence.

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INSIGHT

Traits of Trustworthy Leaders

Trustworthy leaders possess integrity, are clear about intentions, and consider their impact.
They are also highly capable, bridging the gap between charisma and actual skills.

ADVICE

Building Trust as a New Leader

New leaders can accelerate trust-building by demonstrating risk-taking and confidence in uncertainty.
Embrace humility, admit unknowns, and show a willingness to learn and look stupid.

ADVICE

Interview Question for Humility

Ask interview candidates for examples of when they've been beginners at something.
Assess their comfort with looking foolish and how they persevere through challenges.

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Rachel Botsman has become an expert on trust in the modern world. She’s written three books: What’s Mine is Yours, Who Can You Trust, and How to Trust and Be Trusted. Her TED talks have amassed over 5 million views. And she teaches at Oxford University’s Business School where she created pioneering courses on trust in the digital age has become an expert on trust in the modern world. She’s written three books: What’s Mine is Yours, Who Can You Trust, and How to Trust and Be Trusted. Her TED talks have amassed over 5 million views.

Notes:

Trust is being comfortable with uncertainty.
Capability and Character - Assholes are capable people with low character.
Demonstrate the ability to take risks. Confidence in the unknown. Healthy challenge and push mentality.
Trust willing – Lead with Trust. Make the trust wager. What’s the best way to earn someone’s trust? LEAD with trust. Trust them first. This also creates a highly attractive company or team. Don’t you want to attract highly trusting, capable people? The best way to do that is to lead with trust.
- Be more trust willing. Lead with Trust. Jim Collins story. Make the trust wager. You don't have to earn it, you got it.
Willingness to be a beginner. Be curious. Look stupid at first. Those are good qualities in a leader.
For keynote speaking:
- Share your expertise, but don't seek approval
- Share your stories, but don't look for validation
- Share your passion, but don't perform for the applause
Don't sell from the stage. Don't show your book. Don't give your resume.
Honor the present. If you’re running a meeting, start it on time. Honor the people who showed up on time. Leaders who are overscheduled… It’s usually their fault and it comes from ego. If you’ve hired a capable team, then you don’t have to be in every meeting. Also, if you’re always late, you aren’t reliable. And that becomes part of your reputation. That’s not something we want to be known for.
- How can people trust you if you're always late? They won't. You aren't reliable if you're always late. Reliability is a big part of your reputation. It can become the thing you're known for. That's bad.
The power of consistency: Intensity makes a good story. Consistency makes progress.
Consistency builds trust.
Leaders who are overscheduled have a problem they've created for themselves. It's usually from ego.
Interviewing leaders for jobs. High character is a must. We can teach capabilities later.
Paul Simon's audiobook with Pushkin is awesome.
Rachel's five principles for trust:
- Competence: Having the skills, knowledge, time, and resources to do what you say you'll do
- Reliability: Being dependable and consistent in your actions
- Integrity: Being honest about your intentions and motives, and ensuring your words and actions align
- Empathy: Caring about others' interests and how your actions affect them
- Consistent action: Earning trust through how you show up, set expectations, and deliver acts of caring
Life/Career Advice:
- Don’t get boxed in too early and grow a career based on being able to tell people at parties that you work at a prestigious company.
- Look for great teams and great bosses. The industry doesn’t matter as much as the people. Culture is everything. People are everything.
- And then when you’re younger it’s helpful to be a generalist. Know a little about a lot of things. But as you get older, it’s useful to become a specialist at something. Become an expert. Go deep on a topic. This is similar to what Mike Maples Jr said on episode #619.