The goop Podcast Why We're Not Having Sex—And What We Can Do About It
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Feb 25, 2025 
Join licensed sex therapist Vanessa Marin and her husband Xander as they delve into why intimacy struggles persist in relationships. With two decades of experience, Vanessa highlights the emotional barriers and societal pressures impacting sexual desire. They discuss the importance of open communication and playfulness, exploring the decline in interest among younger generations. Insights into understanding different sex drives and the significance of rekindling connection make this conversation both relatable and enlightening.
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Xander's Transition to Sex Therapy
- Xander Marin, initially in tech, transitioned to working with his wife, Vanessa.
- Encouraged by Vanessa, he began sharing personal stories, finding that people connected with an "everyday couple's" perspective.
Gender Roles and Intimacy
- Traditional gender roles impact relationships, even for couples who strive for equality.
- Xander's experience with not being the primary earner caused him to confront his own internalized masculinity.
Open Communication about Sex
- Couples should talk about sex openly and honestly.
- Start with general conversations, then move towards discussing likes, dislikes, and boundaries.