Why Your Voice is Your Secret Pleasure Tool

7 snips

May 27, 2025

Dr. Scott Lyons, a licensed holistic psychologist and trauma expert, joins in to explore the transformative power of vocalizing pleasure. They discuss how overcoming sexual silence can lead to deeper connections and more intense experiences. The conversation addresses childhood conditioning and societal expectations that cultivate shame around vocal expression. Practical exercises are shared to enhance vocal authenticity, proving that embracing one’s voice can significantly amplify intimacy and pleasure, even in shared spaces.

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ANECDOTE

Vegas Massage Vocalization Story

Emily shared a story about her loud, authentic vocalizations during a couples massage in Vegas.
Scott contrasted this with his usual silence and how her feedback enhanced the massage experience.

INSIGHT

Voice Regulates Pleasure Physiology

Vocalizing pleasure not only communicates enjoyment but helps regulate the nervous system.
Making authentic sounds stimulates the vagus nerve and deepens embodied connection during intimacy.

INSIGHT

Authentic vs Performative Sounds

Porn culture promotes performative, exaggerated vocalizations that can disconnect partners from authentic pleasure.
Authentic, embodied sounds foster real connection over scripted or forced noise.

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In this intimate episode of the Sex with Emily podcast, Dr. Emily teams up with Dr. Scott Lyons, a licensed holistic psychologist and body-based trauma expert, to explore how vocalizing pleasure can transform your intimate experiences. From a candid discussion about their couples massage experience in Vegas to practical advice on overcoming sexual silence, this episode reveals why making authentic sounds during sex creates deeper connection and more intense pleasure.

We dive into the psychology behind sexual silence, examining how childhood conditioning, shame, and societal expectations keep us quiet when we should be expressing ourselves. Dr. Scott explains the nervous system science behind vocalization, including how making sounds stimulates the vagus nerve and helps regulate our bodies during intimate moments. We also tackle the difference between authentic pleasure sounds and performative moaning influenced by porn culture.

This episode addresses common concerns like being too loud with roommates or kids in the house, offers practical exercises for gradually increasing your vocal expression, and explores how sound creates crucial feedback loops between partners. Whether you're naturally quiet or overly performative, you'll learn how to find your authentic voice of pleasure.

Show Notes: 00:00:00 - The Vegas Massage Story: Learning from Authentic Sound 03:00:00 - Why We Stay Silent During Pleasure 06:41:00 - Men, Masturbation & the Culture of Quiet Sex 08:26:00 - Sound as Nervous System Regulation 11:07:00 - Authentic vs. Performative Vocalization 15:38:00 - The Sixth Limb: Your Voice as Extension of Your Body 18:06:00 - Shame, Control & Sexual Expression 23:10:00 - Practical Exercises: Touch for Pleasure Practice 28:14:00 - Sensory Play & Exploration 30:04:00 - Parents, Kids & Sexual Noise Concerns 33:08:00 - The 10% Challenge: Starting Small

Join Dr. Emily and Dr. Scott as they share personal insights and professional expertise on breaking through sexual silence to unlock deeper pleasure and connection. This episode includes a live demonstration and practical homework to help you discover your authentic voice of pleasure.

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