The Greg McKeown Podcast

369. We've Declared War on Kindness Around the World - Jamil Zaki

19 snips
Jan 1, 2026
Jamil Zaki, a Stanford psychology professor and author of *The War for Kindness*, delves into the significance of real empathy and understanding in human connections. He discusses how our confidence can hinder genuine connection and contrasts traditional empathy with a more rigorous approach. The conversation highlights the dangers of overconfidence in understanding others and presents practical exercises to enhance listening skills. They also touch on the implications of AI in empathy training, ultimately emphasizing that empathy is a learnable skill crucial for effective leadership.
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INSIGHT

Overconfidence Creates False Connection

  • Overconfident attempts to "walk a mile" in someone else's shoes create a false sense of connection.
  • Jamil Zaki calls this a soft dehumanization that reduces others to postage-stamp understandings.
INSIGHT

Therapy And Science Have Diverged

  • Scientists and therapists split the study of empathy into incompatible approaches.
  • Jamil Zaki urges circling back to study real conversations with new neuroscience tools.
ADVICE

Paraphrase Then Ask For Clarification

  • Don't guess others' minds; ask them and paraphrase to confirm.
  • Use paraphrase plus follow-up questions to turn empathy into perspective getting.
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