Kelly Corrigan Wonders Going Deep with Julie and John Gottman on Fighting Right
Apr 30, 2024
Renowned relationship experts Julie and John Gottman share insights on effective communication and conflict resolution in relationships. They discuss the importance of bids for connection, managing emotional conflicts, and exploring vulnerabilities. Their research-based strategies can improve relationships with partners, family, and colleagues.
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The Consequential Three Minutes
- Focus on the first three minutes of a conflict, as they predict the outcome.
- These crucial moments set the tone and can forecast the relationship's trajectory.
The Four Horsemen
- The “four horsemen” — criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling — signal an unhappy discussion or relationship.
- These negative patterns can predict relationship issues six years later with 90% accuracy.
Expressing Needs Positively
- Express feelings using “I” statements, describing the situation and stating positive needs.
- Focus on what you do need, enabling your partner to meet those needs constructively.